The Temperance Lecturer.

Feilding Star, Volume XIX, Issue 31, 5 August 1897, Page 2

The Temperance Lecturer.

0 (By Wanderer.) My observations as a " Wanderer " Lave led me to the conclusion that of • all the thousands who directly or in- ! directly derive their livelihood thron«h j the " drink traffic 1 ' there are none who would deplore its abolition more than the itinerent temperance lecturer. This travelling oiator with his choice assortrpenfc of stock horribles, highly embellished, flits from place to place giving orations upon eveiy vice and crime that has ever been committed by man, all of which lie lays upon the " broad and sinful back "of alcohol. Working upon the susceptibilities of his hearers until they arrive at that point when shillings may bs drawn from tbe impressionable, the teetotal enthusiast, and the intermittent inebriate who spends bis life alternately as a drunkard and as a rabid prohibitionist ; then having made his collection he goes on bis way rejoicing, for he has discovered an easier and more lucritive if less bononrable mode of getting a living than "by the sweat of his brow." A few days ago an amusing conversation took place at a restaurant where I was staving between one of these lecturers and two others of a class generally unlettered and who prefer to carry their requirements in a blue blanket to a poit-Lanteau. The lecturer was discoursing to them upon tbe evils of drink, I but bis language was so figurative that all be conveyed totbeir intelligence was that he had a large field iv New Zealand from which be expected to gather a rich harvest. The two swaggers took the phrase in its literal sense ; as one whispered to tbe other " He's a pious cockatoo. We'll get a job from him if we act Sankey." Then accosting tbe lecturer he enquired of him where this big field was and whether there was a show for him and his mate carting in tbe lecturer's crop. At this question tbe lecturer drew a long breath of surprise, and Bigbcd out " You do not comprehend." " Yes we do," quickly replied the swagger at the same time appealing to bis mate, saying " Don't we Bill ?" " Yes," responded the mate, and wbo being under theimpression that the word comprehend had something to do with praying, devoutly said " Regular ; twice on Snn day." The lecturer saw they had mis taken him, but flattered by the impression be had made and which he believed bad caused their mistaken idea as to bis profession, he began to discourse upon tbe subject of " Divine Doctrine " the use of which words chauged the opinions of the swaggers as to his calling. Talking in an under- tone to themselves one remarked " After all he's only a doctor, Jack." "Yes," returned Jack with a shake of tho bead that only knowledge could have so swayed, " And a quack at that." With this idea upon them their awe and respect began to vanish perceptibly. Tbe lecturer saw it and returning to bis old subject, and one where be was more at home, made a long exhortation coached in a tone of Pecksniffian sanctity, winding up with the words "1 imploro you, my friends, to give up the use of tobacco and to eschew alcohol." As he finished tha two men looked at each other as men will do in matters of uncertainty, tben Jack exclaimed to bis companion "We've been on the wrong track all the time, Bill. He's only a pesky Yankee agent got some stuff be wants people to chew instead of bacca." Accosting the leotorer, be contemptuously said to bim " You just cbew your alcol yourself, we shall stick to our bacca." At the same time be ejected a squirt of juice upon tbe lecturer's toe. The orator was iv tribulation at once He pulled out a 'kerchief from bis pocket but replaced it agaiu as quickly ; he lifted bis foot as though to rub it against the leg of bi» trousers, but put it down again without doing so. Eventually be removed tbe offence with a temperance tract, tben indignantly shifted to the further end of the apartment. The swaggers smiled ; I smiled likewise, but while they smiled coarsely, I smiled a smile of pity.