Football

Feilding Star, Volume XIII, Issue 92, 2 February 1892, Page 3

Football

As we may expect the football season soon the following Yankee description ol the players will be found soothing <o parents' and guardians: — "Even a blind man can tell a footballer at first sight. He never wears more than one ear, and about .the same number of eyes. His nose looks like a piece of liver stretched across a thimble ; one arm is bent backwards ; he appears to have two left legs, and he carries about as much scalp to the square inch as a catfish. The principal part of the game seems to be for one player to run till he falls. If he falls on a broken bottle so luucli the better, lie gets more honour and nearly all the bottle. Thirty-seven players then fall on the top of him punch his ribs, claw oft his ears, gouge out his eyes, and kick pings off his cheeks, as big as Hobart potatoes. Then thoy lift him up, stick him together with giant cement, and cart him to the nearest duly qualified circular sawyer. Taking it altogether it as an extremely healthy game — for the spectator behind the fence. It is mostly played by married men who are tired of tbeir existence."