Old Grumble's Address to the Troops Under His Command

Feilding Star, Volume IX, Issue 93, 8 March 1888, Page 3

Old Grumble's Address to the Troops Under His Command

~> "• =rr— As I do not wish . my position of . General to be quite a sinecure, I have composed a speech, Mrs Grumble, which I shall deliver to the men tomorrow, and as I want to be perfect in it, I will rehearse it to you, so please to consider yourself an army, j Madam, and listen with wrapt attea- J tion :— " Soldiers of the Empire ! A war is about to burst out in Central Europe, which will be heaved into the Southern Hemisphere, in which you ' will be called upon to take a glorious part. Already a Council of War has been held by the military authorities of New Zealand, when it was unanimously decided to attach a torpedo to any vessel which may be sent out to assist us, so that in the event of its failing to repel an attack, it will be blown up by its own act to prevent it falling into the hands of the enemy. The wisdom of such a course is only equalled by its heroism, and stands unparalleled in the annals of war, and the exhibition of such determination on our part cannot fail to strike awe in the hearts of the enemy, which will be very gratifying to both officers and men on board the vessel. "Warriors of New Zealand ! Veterans of a hundred fields! both pastoral, and arable! Victors ©f Parihaka ! remember ! ! ree - member !!! (Bless me, Mrs Grumble, we have no great battlefields to talk about, and I shall certainly have to call to my mind something pretty jolty). Oh! remember Botorua, and let your war cry be that of Nelson's, at the seige of Balaclava, when he said, "Every man expects this day that England will do her duty," not that she did it though, but left her soldiers to fight her battles, ; exposed to the rigour of a Crimean winter, hungry, shelterless, and in Tags, when if her soldiers had not done their duty mwe faithfully to their country than their country did to them, England would not be the mighty power she is to-day, and Sebastipool would have been no more. But, my. men, we have a stake in this our country; if not personally, we - have it in our capitalists, and our great landowners, who each turn their eyes toward us as their safeguard, the /- one to protect his money, the other to preserve his many acres of unbroken solitude, and their natural wilderness, unmolested by the hand of labor. In grateful recognition of the services you have rendered them, you will be raised to thkt honor and affluence ' it has ever been the lot of the commonest soldier, in all ages,' to attain. The strategic importance of the Apiti Small Farm Block, upon the map, is •very observable. Whether it is of Any importance otherwise than on the map, is not for me to say. We have only to.be guided by the map, one of jwhich will be given to every man for his intelligence (and he'll show his intelligence, Mis G.,^.by wrapping his in it), thither we shall repair at the first intimation we receive froni the enemy that they have, landed, ' marching to the martial strains of the OFeilding Brass Band, play lug "We shall meet on that beautiful shore," One bit more I might say— one General bit more. You all know this cocked hat, and lace coat, baubles in - 'themselves, but that the brain which works beneath, and the heart that beats within, gives them their lustre J You will find them in the post of danger (I hope there will be some posts about, Mrs G. ; I shall certainly take advantage of one to get behind it), and round which will rally, should we be - 1 was about to say defeated ; but there is no such word in our vocabulary. Should we have to beat a retreat, we will disperse like the ihist of a summer morning, so that when missed by the enemy, in following us they maj be lured into some rabbit»infested region, where we will leave them in undisturbed possession until they have eaten the last raboit. I am proud to say we are not alone in pur preparations. Sir H. Lorrimer, of Sydney, has shown us a brilliancy of genuis that has never been approached. He says he knows just what to do with his ships, his forts, his guns, and hi& men, hereby surpassing Bonaparte at Moscow, Bazaine a* Metz, and even our great Napier at Cronstadt," ; There, Mrs Grumble, how is that for high ? You think I'm an old fool, Mrs G Well, my dear, so I may be, but there's lots more, that's the one comfort of Old Gktjmble.