A Day as an Editor

Feilding Star, Volume VIII, Issue 72, 18 December 1886, Page 1 (Supplement)

A Day as an Editor

BY CHARLEY COPE.

I had an idea that an editor had nothing to do but sit in his chair with a pen stuck behind his ear, and look solemn as an owl. I changed my Hews after I had filled the editorial uhair of a friend to enable him to take a holiday. He left me instructions to write an article on the ceremony of consecrating a church which took place yesterday, a boxing match between The .Pet and Jimmy the Slogger, which was to be well written up as shey had advertised liberally, and a slashing article in favor of the local Fire Brigade, in which I wag to tone down the stupidity of some of the men whose carelessness had led to the bursting of the suction pipe. I was also to say something about a bridge meeting, the heads of the speeches to be made were lying on the table, so I couldn't go wrong. I had plenty pf time to do it, as there were two hours yet before the boys would come for copy. Had I known there was so jß.uch work to do Old Nick might have sat in the editorial chair for I wouldn't However, there was no time for meditation, so I determined while writing the first to be cemposmg the second, and so on. I started, but the task was too great for my mental faculties, and I began to get confused. Still I wrote on until in a state bodoring on dementia, I looked at the clock; it was upon the stroke of twelye, and I tastily gathered up my manuscript and handed it to the boy who was waiting for it, and then lapsed into a state of coma ; but I was aroused from it before night when I came to read my production printed as a leading article. This is it — " The never to be forgotten ceremony of the opening of our church took place yesterday. The building was crammed, amd all eyes were turned as the bishop and other dignitaries of the church who filed in procession down the aisle array«d in | their brass mounted helmets with their batchets hanging by their sides. When they reached the middle they were met by The Pot who countered them very prettilly. There was a good deal of sparring, but- the Slogger got ' one in at last right on the bridge of . (tfifce fteaa's nose, and seat him to grass : j ust as the choir chanted that beautiiul anthem " I will arise," their voices ' blending with the swelling sounds of tk£> Fire Engine, which being pumpdd jby willing hands, sent & drenching Shower upon the assembled mass who , wero crowded so closely that they hampered the movements of the men. 3?he water had the desired effect, for it made room for the Bight Reverend JBishop to give his address, which he j did with such fervour that he bursted bis skin tight* over the prostrate form of Jimmy the Slogger, whom The Pet \ jhad knocked out of time. The contest ifchus being brought to a premature filoae, <o» picking 1 up Jiunny it w«« discovered he had burst his sue&ra pipe Jin endeavoring to swallow the bridge, whjch ought to have spanned jfcke river years ago, and would hay« done so if the Fire Brigade had not (Bo completely w<ashed it *way, proving to the Insurance Companies that for fifty pounds a year they could so support tJfcte Church, and the brigade, .and the noble art of *elf defence fo a boding match tfcat, with The Pet and Jimmy the Slogger for their tutors, jfchere never would be the smallest ichanoe of a fire spneading." ! I have ueyeyr been *v editor since; writing that artfeie for two reasons — (G>.ne that my frjend has not since asked me* the other that I wouldn't If he did.