The Secret Out

Feilding Star, Volume VII, Issue 147, 22 May 1886, Page 4

The Secret Out

"Civis," iii me Olu^o Witness, tells the following amusing story : In a certain country district the spirit of Christ* ian brotherhood permits the Catholic priest and Pipsbyipri'ii minister to be fast friends— ereal y to the dissatisfaction of the laiier's parishioners, who, toeverthrles* hod not ven'umi to remonstrate. A e ew Sundays back, however, the minister, with some o\ his elders, wa* .sending at the manse gate after servic •*iun the priest came along in his buggyTin- minister signalled him to stop, and walked into the road for a chat. When he returned, the senior elder thought it his duty to " lift up his testimony." What fellowship could there le :between a minister of the gospel and that " Popish mummerP" "We emina' think," said the elder, "what yo ha ye to say till him, or what he has to say till you." " Well, M'Tavish," reJilfed the minister, "as to that, I'll tell Youiwhafc I said to Father Donovan and *hat. he said to me. I said to him* How »re ye, old boy?' and he answered 'First $»te, my son.' Then I said 'I'll .swap collections with yoa,' and .be.answered,, * N<? fear, ceckey i- I know your flock,' and he drove on. That's all, gentlemen-; pond-day,"— and th** ' minister left his elders to worry cut the significance of the conversation at their leisure.

'So you are the new girl,' said, the masher to the pretrr. waitress, and what ire we to call you' P' 'Pearl/ said the maid with a saucy toss of her head. •Oh,' asked the masher, 'are you the ' pearl of great value' the parson speaks ofP' 'No; I'm the pearl that was cast before the swine!,' retorted the pretty waitress. There was a long silence. Dean, Swift preached before the Mer» r.hant Tailors Company at three several anniversaries. The first time he took for his text, "Steal no nvre." The members of the Company took umbrage at this ; the seconn anniversary he chose the words, " A remnant shall be *ared." | His audience were more irritated than before ; nevertheless, he commenced his third sermon as follows : "There were lice in all their borders." Concluding an article dealing with the statement conveyed- by cable -that the London : Standard had adversely criticised the policy of Sir Julius Vogelj the ; Melbourne Argus after terming: Sir Julius the Haroun-Al-Baschid, of New Zealand finance, say?:— "There is evidence (hat the spell or" hard times, in Jtfeir Zealand has really been a; blesKing in disguise.; the splf-help and self-reliance, of the people have be«>n called ont in many ways and business ■hows sign* of settling down on a sounder if on a diminished scale. Perhaps these cheering facts may be worth the consideration or our London contemporary after it has. exposed Sir Julius Vogel's Arabian Nights^ system of finance to its own satisfaction "