Old Grumble on the coming Election

Feilding Star, Volume VI, Issue 13, 10 July 1884, Page 2

Old Grumble on the coming Election

Yes ! I am grumbling aerom Mr Editor, and «ood cause 1 have, I should think, if what I read in your paper is true. Can you tell me what this constituency has done that it is to be plagued with such a tribe of candidates, after it has selected its man ? First, there's Donald j Fraser thanking somebody and two hunI dred and three other gentlemen for sending after him. Why can't he put up for the county he has lived iu so long and where, if he lias any capabilities for the job he wants, the people would know of it. Ho! his nephew is going to stand again for that place is he? Well; certainly a man can't very well oppose his j relatire, especially when by going in for 1 another seat they stand a chance of i bringing in between them four hundred guineas to the family instead of two. I shall have to look after him, for he and Old Alick will carefully shepherd the Maori votes. It's my opinion they are the "other two hundred and the gents" he is thanking. Then there's Buller, Russell, and Burr, who the deuce sent for them I should like to know. Are not the native land laws intricate enough without Buller making them worse ? As for Russell, does he think I forget hi i speeches at the last election, when Wilson gave him such a tying up for Foxton P Did'nt he show then what he wanted to get into the House for was to get Parliament to help him to start a newspaper manufactory, all printed in Maori. Then what is that BurrP does any one know? The name is unpleasantly suggestive to me of a nasty weed that gets on sheeps' backs. I lliimlc we have had too many weeds in ihe House already, and 1 hope the country '11 put the I hoe amongst them now it has the chnnce. j I wonder if any of the electors of Oroua ! have got enough wool mixed up in their brains and are sheepish enough to back A Burr when they can get a man like Macarthur to represent them ! I should think not, so I'll j ust tell Donald that L440 is too much for one family to expect for doing nothing ; it looks greedy. I don't mind telling the Doctor that the native affairs have been getting on very well, and will do much better without him than with him in the House. As for Russell, does he think a newspaper factory will ever be started ? Not if he waits till he gets into Parliament it won't. 11l finish off with this Burr. Mr Burr, a-hem, I am afraid you will have to go as you came, a memberless man (I have said this in a very dignified mauuer). iSow I have I settled them all off I'll just give the other ! constituencies a bit of my mind. They'll have a troop of the old hands swarming t to them, like flies round a hog tub — sucI ccssfui Shylocks who, as there was no Portia to stop them, have secured their pound of flesh (clever girl that Portia. Artful dodge thai of hers, but rather unmaidenly, making herself out to be a man, but as it was for a good cause I forgive her), and with the country's money still jingling in their pockets, will try for another taste of the honorarium. Then just let the constituencies ask them if they voted for the full amount of this precious great lolly, and if they have, why' tell them to be off or they'll fetch a policeman, for they'd be mean enough to steal the feathers off a moulting hen: Old Grumble.