GENERAL ITEMS.

Franklin Times, Volume 9, Issue 710, 28 February 1922, Page 9

GENERAL ITEMS.

AMERICAN HUMOUR. e Ths Continental Method.— Daughter; “What is tiie Baron doing, father?” Millionaire Parent: ‘Ty 0 just told him what your dowry is to be. and he’s figuring out whether he loves you.” * * * * * Time Wastud.—“Dinah, did you wash the fish before you baked it ” Law, ina am, what's de use ob wasL'in’ er fish what’s lived all his life in de water?” *■® * n * LiksSy. Judge: “Officer, what’s the matter with the prisoner—toil her to stop tnat crying —she’s been at it fifteen minutes.” (More sobs.) Officer: “Please, sir. Pm a thinking she wants to be bailed out.” * * «■ * V. Only Too Evident—Four Years (in i I Sunday Scnooi): “Wove got a now baby at our house." Hector (not recognising him) : “And who are you, my little man?” Four Years: “I'm the old one.” A Bashings— ‘ What do the suffragettes want, anviiow ?” “We want to sweep the country dad. ” “Well, do not de-pise small beginnings. .Suppose you make a start with the dm:ng-room, my dear.'’ * ' * n ,t Her Solicitude Fi\ d : WWy dear Horn, let lira thought console you for your lover’s death. Remember that other and better me':; than he have gone the same w.,y.” Beroev d One: “j i, -y haven't aU gone, have ih-y?” ' * * * * ?.3a1.--Ai:•*. A.: “While I was going down lawn on the car this morn mg t:.« fonduebo: came along and loolcn! mens if i had not paid my faro.” Mr. A. : “ A ell what <i;d you do?’' Mrs. A. : “J lo.dm i at ni:u as if I . bad.” « i Ca« 33 ol the Chill. —“But. Captain Hawley.” said the handsome Miss 1*1:1 ie I'oquettishlv. “will you Im o me wlw, I grow old nr. 1 ugfv?” . ".My dear Msss Piute.” answered {lie Captain gallantly, “you may grew old* >r, but you will r-'v.-r grow uglier.” And he wondered why their friendship ceased so suddenly * * * - Her Piety Exp.a'ncrj.—-Tlx? vicar’* family had just seat-:*'! tnem.-elves at die breakfast table when the strains of “Rock of Ages” sounded through the rouse. The Bishop who was present on i visit remarked how sweetly the hymn sounded. Then said the vicar’s last asm, “That was the cook.” The Bisaop expressed pleasure at the melodies jf the cook. “She always sings ‘Rock of Ages’ to boil the eggs,” said the {hild; “throe verses for soft-boiled, ive for hard.”