By the Way

Evening Star, Issue 23687, 21 September 1940, Page 3

By the Way

(By X.Y.|

'** The time has come” s the Walrus said, „ “ To talk oj many things .”

Upon the roofs of Random, Upon its streets and spires, Descends the devastation From Jerry’s valiant flyers. No Spitfire can withstand ’em, In daylight or in dark They hurl their bombs at Random, The' hapless town of Random, Disintegrated Random, The great Strategic Mark.

Let Britons drop explosives On railways yards at Hamm, On ships at Wilhelmshaven, Or dumps at Amsterdam. Wherever they may land ’em. Be very sure of this: That Jerry hits at Random, Delivers blows at Random, At ruined, ravaged Random, The spot he cannot miss.

When Hurricanes are humming, Hot-foot upon his trail. He thinks of homo and safety. And prudently turns tail; But still—nil desperandum ! However he may run, He has a go at Random, A parting shot at Random, There’s no escape for Random, The Target of the Hun.

The boundaries of Random, Are wondrous in extent; You couldn’t find a larger town Upon the Continent. However they expand ’em. Their cities can’t compare For magnitude, with Random, Bombarded, battered, Random; For shattered, shell-shocked Random Is simply everywhere. , The citizens of Random Have faces white as chalk; This much at least we gather From Haw-Haw’s Random talk. (No doubt he’s closely scanned ’em To see what they are like) . The shaking knees of Random, Tho chattering teeth of Random. The jitterbugs of Random Are noted iu the Reich.

So here’s a song of Random; You gather what it means: That Jerry’s bombs have blasted The place to smithereens. You couldn’t drive a tandem (Much less a coach-and-six) On any road at Random, For all the streets at Random, The thoroughfares at Random, Are cluttered up with bricks. 0 little gabbling Goobbels, Your underlings must find New ways of satisfying Your mean, mendacious mind. And here I’d like to hand ’em The prize for nimble wits— A raspberry for Random, For chucking bombs at Random, Elusive, airy Random, And blowing it to bits!

“ Don’t do as I do; do as I say.” Doubtless the New Zealand Government has been perfectly right in principle over the petrol restrictions. By this measure, as well as by heavy embargoes on other imports, it has appreciably built up again Dominion funds in London, which it had seriously depleted during its pre-war period in office. Just a few days ago it was cabled from London that these balances of overseas dominions have been, and are, of by no means negligible value to the Mother Country in the stupendously hard task of financing a war costing (so it has been said) about £6,000 a minute. The rationed motor industry in New Zealand argued that the pound-dollar rate of exchange might be side-stepped by securing supplies from the Dutch East Indies instead of from Texas, since Holland (up to the time of her rape) has been a constituent of the group allied to sterling. Sir Harry Batterbee has exploded that fallacy by explaining that buying petrol in the Dutch East Indies does not obviate the danger of an inroad on dollar How, he does not elucidate. The intricacies _of petroleum production and distribution are above mere “ bowserites.”

Contemporaneously with Britain’s Trade Commissioner’s conveyance of the Imperial Government’s apprecia-' tion of New Zealand’s self-denial comes an announcement by the Hon. Dan Sullivan that the Government is building up a petrol reserve, and that_ when the oil reaches the desired mark in the storage tank the rationing of the public will come in for “ complete review.” This is a bit vague. Possibly the environment of this announcement conduced to vagueness as well as to relaxation of the iron hand, for it was made lay the Minister when he was a guest at the Motor Trade Conference dinner. Ordinary motorists have now an interest in observing how the Government progresses with its reserve accumulation. If the Government and its transport executives are not above taking hints as to ancillary aids to those measures already in operation, there should be no lack of suggestions, especially from small communities, largely dependent for transport on Government motor bus services. These have recently been subjected to pruned and altered time-tables. To give a specific instance, such communities may be found near Dunedin’s door, on the coastal route between Evansdale and Merton. • * * « Starting from fundamentals, these critics of the new order maintain that a service satisfactory to both parties concerned, under existing circumstances, should combine maximum patronage on mimimum mileage. It is hardly catering for patronage to put on a time-table which offers the users a mere three hours in Dunedin for the transaction of business instead of the former seven; also to trim week-end facilities enjoyed by a week-end resort to skeleton form. Then as to superfluous mileage. Of the four daily services on the Main North road, two leave Oaraaru for Dunedin each morning within an hour of one another (one of them hailing from Timaru), and current report says that their combined loads normally would not nearly fill one bus. The bus having Oamaru as its starting point has been diverted to the coastal route, residents along which are asking why, in the interests of serving the public and economising on mileage, it cannot be confined to that route, and abandon the redundant hundred miles daily on the 50-mile stretch between Waikouaiti and Oamaru. And there is another factor. The difficulty of recruiting the imperatively necessary staff of attendants at “ the institution ” at Seacliff will become still greater than ever if facilities for trips to town, highly desirable in such vocations, arc denied.

Rumania's oil wells arc now supplying the German war machine as fast as transport can bo arranged. At the time of writing Rumania is not a vassal State in the sense that the Row Coun-

tries and France are, and it will ba interesting to learn the amount Germany will pay for petrol, also tha form which payment will take. Hectof Bolitho, the New Zealand author* wrote a book about Rumania as ha found it during a visit at a time when the war clouds were already lowering. One of the things which particularly struck him in Bucharest was the profusion, almost to the exclusion of other wares, of gim-crack German toys and gadgets in the shop windows of tha capital. According to Bolitho, tha Rumanian people were at that time determined to put the oil wells out of action rather than let them , com* under German control. This was not merely because of German trading methods with the Balkans—cheap toys* mouth organs, and aspirins in barter for their good foodstuffs and oil. Tho Rumanians were very bitter over tha Germans’ ruthless felling and appropriation of the valuable forest trees on the Carpathian slopes. These wer# among Rumania’s most valuable assets, and nowhere are there stricter forestry laws than in Rumania. One odd feature of Bolitho’s book was his whitewashing of (then) King Carol; and Bolitho should .be something of as authority on Royalty.

The fierce south-west gale < whicK swept the English Channel in mid-week played ducks and drakes with London’* defensive balloon barrage. Sweden bad a visitation of what may be called flying giant stingrays, which, as fishermen tell us, are equipped with a peculiarly lethal tail. One even navigated as far afield as Finland’s capital* Sweden is a highly electrified country. Nature having equipped her with mountain ranges of such contour that lakes occur almost in cascade series, greatly aiding hydro-electric enterprise. Tha short-circuiting of innumerable transmission lines by the trailing ballooa cables would not be the only danger. A member of the British Air Ministry at a time when the balloon barrage waa in its experimental stage has put on'record a gruesome story of his official attendance at an early demonstration. At the moment of release a balloon took charge, and the steel cable, writhing like a snake across the field, would have truncated anyone in its track. Unfortunately the two ratings trying to bold down the balloon werebigh aloft before they had time to let go, one of them retaining his hold for over half- an hour. It wduld not be mere empty sport or flogging a dead horse for German pursuit planes to burn up petrol to secure their bag of 920 of thes* fugitives.

And, talking of Sweden, that country has been described as isolated between two of the most brutal autocracies in the history of man—those of. Hitler and Stalin. Originally, becaus* of business i and social ties, a large sec-.-tion of Swedish society was openly syra* pathetic with the Nazi regime until tl}» Russo-German pact. That pact killed .. their interest in German political f theory, but it did not make them proAlly. Swedish Liberals, normally friendly to the democracies, felt 'th* Abyssinian tragedy very, keenly, for a ‘ strong Swedish medical ‘ Had.-, worked for many years. in Ethiomi, . Finally (according to a correspondent of the ‘Economist’) the Polish c«h»' paign created a lamentable impression •' in Sweden, for the technical reason* why more Allied assistance ■ could not? be given to the Poles were never vouchsafed to Scandinavia. German prop** ganda did the rest.

It has taken a war and incessant aerial bombardment to force Londoner* back to what was once an arterial passenger route—the River Thames. la this development Mr A. P. Herbert may perhaps derive a sort of melancholy satisfaction. For a time, he forsook. the realms of light comedy, ia * Punch ’ and other publications, and devoted a powerful pen to advocacy of the river route as a diversion from - traffic jams ashore and a pleasant and >- hoalthy solution of a pressing problem, Readers of Pepys * Diary ’ will realis* the extent of passenger traffic which the Thames wherries used to cope with. At present the dockside parts of the Thames are a decidedly unhealthy area because of the desperate and costly German effort to destroy London’s food imports. Incidentally the resourcefulness of Britain’s transport systems ha« been well proved by the Food Minister’* narration of what he called “a nic* piece of work.” No stop-work meeting* there 1 . • • • • A Hitler Youth, of ardent Soul And patriotic Mind, Went forth upon an evening stroll To find what he could find. He looked with skinned and watchful Eye, Likewise with pricked-up Ear, To see whatever he might spy And hear what he might hear. He looked to Left, h’e looked to Righf* He looked to East and West; But nothing met ,his roving Sight To rouse his Interest, . Until Lis Heartstrings gave a Tug ' Which stopped him with a Jerk— He saw a Colorado Bug Ferociously at Work. The Sight of this subversive Deed Congealed his Aryan Blood. He picked that evil Thing with Speeg From off the mangled Spud. Although it squirmed and wriggled sor% The Creature had to go And pass its Third Degree, befor* The local Gestapo. The Owner of that blighted Patch Might have to face Arrest For failing signally to watch The Public Interest. But lest Injustice be endured By injured Innocence, That Beetle must be first secured To furnish Evidence.

So there, before the S.S. Man, That erring Beetle stood; Or, speaking accurately, ran Across the shining Wood. With stern and lowering brow fig scanned That Insect for a While; But ah! it did not raise its Hand, Or give the German ” Heil.”

A serious Affair, indeed! It looked suspicious-like. This was no Bug of German Breed, Begotten in the Reich. Its Manners and its Morals wore A plainly foreign Stamp; So Morning found it heading for A Concentration Camp.,

So. taking all in all, was not The Evidence complete Of some abominable Plot Devised in Downing Street? Then Goebbels passed around the Wonl From Radio Berlin, And Fritz, who swallows all he’s heardj Just gaped—and took it ini