A LETTER FROM LONDON

Evening Star, Issue 23370, 13 September 1939, Page 13

A LETTER FROM LONDON

(By Melanie S. Primmer.) ODD OCCUPATIONS. There is no end to man's ingenuity when his bread and butter is in question. We have in London a curious system of self-reservation in the matter of cheap theatre seats. Theoretically the pit and gallery are free till the office opens. Actually, with true British compromise, you can go an hour or two before the performance, pay Cd for a stool that is most inadequate in every way, even for slim people, and go off to do shopping or keep a " date, secure in the knowledge that your name or number will replace a box office receipt. As far as the theatre is concerned, it has nothing to do with this way of getting a good interest on a small outlay; that is the " perq." of the investor in stools, often an exservice man. What a boon to us with small purses, and what a cause of. bitter newspaper letters! THE QUEUE ENTERTAINER. , You can, of course, jf you prefer, stand air the hours till the box office opens, and you must, even with stools, be there three-quarters of an hour early. This gives the queue entertainer a grand opportunity to earn an honest penny on his own behalf. Etiquette ftetween the contestants is rigid in the way of length of time and order of coming, and it often happens that they form a sub-queue. Most of our theatres centre round a small area, so as each man finishes his turn, including the held-out cap, he clears off to his next beat; all is done to regulation. •Where time is very literally money the succession is rapid. First on my list the other evening, was the papertearer. His outfit costs nothing, since it is only clean old paper placards. These with wonderful swiftness, he folds and tears, "then opens into dolls' dancing d'oyleys,. or animals. : , ; - < ©ehina y so impatient that he cbiild-not wait'the whole time, was a stout little man who stood on his head'for several minutes, kicking his 4ieeJa in the air. I think we were supposed to admire the length of time reversed, but his takings were lean. The vocal" effort of the next was wasted, •fcooj for his voice was not only a thing of the 'past, but had probably not even: begun; The . penny whistler and character-impersonator gathered a copper or two.. Most successful of all were ifcho sculptor who produced a lump of clay and an easel and then proceeded to punch out the well-known features of Shakespeare; and, secure always of popularity, the monkey or dog man. A few simple tricks, with a goodly sprinkling of affectionate gestures between master and servant, always means ft good harvest. The Londoner is as weak a$ water where animals are concerned.

The first: shove of the queue as a ■whole sweeps away transitory interest, and you get your 2s ready to rush off up the interminable steps to be “ up among the gods.”

SHIPS IN BOTTLES. One of the quaintest pastimes must surely he the one favoured especially by ex-Navy men of making dainty little vessels and then inserting these through the neck of a beer bottle (empty). I knew well the porter of a London theatro who, having lost one or two of his fingers in the war. thought he would turn to this in his hours of “ porteriug.” “ There’s not many of us left nowadays,” ho said; “takes too long, and somehow people aren’t as keen on boats as they used to be. Motors and launches, 1 suppose.” It was interesting seeing him at work. Generally an enthusiast will lend him a photo, of a favourite yacht or other vessel, and ask him to copy it. I watched him for a fortnight at a three-masted schooner, and this is how he manages the deli-

cate task. Matches, very thin string or cotton, wet clay, and a small piece of shaped wood, and the rest is skill. When he has made the whole model he fixes a connecting thread with the masts that must be flattened down to the hull. All. is most gently inserted through the bottle neck, and then at the exact moment he gently pulls the thread so that the masts gradually erect themselves. Tragedy comes if any of the minute bits of rigging got twisted, as this may mean hours of work with a tiny hook to -get it disentangled. However, he managed the one I saw comfortably, and there lay the noble ship on a piece of wet clay the colour of a green sea, while clouds painted on the bottle suggested a breeze and sunshine. The clay, b.v the way, hardens and. keeps her upright, and a corlk helps in the work of preservation.

FRIED FISH BY CAR. But I think the ex-serviceman who bad the brilliant idea of frying fish at your cottage door is the highest exponent of “ brains will tell.” I was cycling in same of the lovely villages in East Anglia when my nostrils _ were assailed with a most appetising odour, too good to be left. So I started, in' pursuit of scent, and finally landed my prey, a white linencoated chef, busy at that moment serving a customer, a young village matron, who held out an expectant plate. “Do you go round frying fish and chips to each cottage?” I asked the wandering caravan. “Yes; have been at it years now, and folk time their clocks by me. From Monday morning early till Saturday night, year in, year out, I go round; no eight-hour shift for me, nor dole

either," he added, with an ah- of pride. His stock of fish exhausted, his brother or friend drives off with the kitchen hitched to what looks much like a derelict Ford. And what a fine example of practicalness and cleanliness this kitchen was—a huge stove, with 'two, fires; on the one the fish pans, the other for chips; and over the two, for darkened hours, an oil lamp suspended at a perilous angle, to throw down the light where needed. And so we come back to the beginning—no end to man's ingenuity where his bread and butter is concerned.