BY THE WAY

Evening Star, Issue 22460, 3 October 1936, Page 2

BY THE WAY

fßy X.Y.] •‘The ti.ne hai come," the Walru* *• To talk ol many ihings.’* Tiie American golfing world has been startled by the decision of a Pennsylvanian judge that a golfer’s slice, if it results in personal injury to the human target the hall may descend upon, constitutes actionable negligence. This heroic judge, who is evidently either the perfect golfer or the perfect abstainer from golf, recently held guilty of negligence a player who, without benefit of lessons from a professional, sliced a drive on the first too and hit a caddy in the eye. Entertaining fears of what might happen to the game if a flood of litigation wore lot loose, an American lawyer, hitherto more eminent for his legal knowledge than for his golfing prowess, has initiated a campaign of protest intended to neutralise His Honour’s decision. As the lawyer sees the position, the judge could have had no golfing background. Otherwise, why should ho have said that the ball was “irregularly driven by the defendant?” Golfers generally will agree with the lawyer man’s contention that, if an “ improper posture and an incorrect swing ’’ are to be interpreted as actionable negligence, there would probably be in a single day at a popular golf course innumerable such acts of negligence, and that the hazards faced by players and caddies would be so great that insurance companies would classify the pastime as “ extrahazardous.” • * * * In any case, what is an improper posture at golf? In spite of the professional’s dictum, thei’e is seen on every course a variety of weird and wonderful stances. Standardisation seems an impossibility. Lack of skill is not necessarily negligence. Indeed some players fail to keep on the fairway simply because they try too hard to To the right thing and so do not acquire the benefit of relaxation at the right moment. I hope this amazing Pennsylvanian judge will be over-ruled by the opinion of his colleagues of the higher courts, for if fcho intricacies of the Royal and Ancient game are to be amplified the whole world over by his decision, many of ns will have to give it. up and take to gardening in real earnest rather than risk big monetary penalties for our errors. * * * ♦ Of all the bulbous growths of spring Which flourish nowadays, One fills, beyond all uttering, My inmost heart with praise; And life without it, more or less. Would bo a howling wilderness. My blessing on .the garden plot Wherein this wonder grows! And, though I’m quite aware it’s not Exhibited at shows, I’d place it, if I had my will, Before the showy daffodil. The hyacinth would hide its head, The jonquil veil its face; Mv fancy, in the tulip’s stead, Would hold the proudest place. Their meretricious charms would be Eclipsed by its nobility. Those bulbs which grow for ornament ' In garden beds or plots. Or titillate one’s sight and scent In vases, jars, or pots, May gladden folk who specialise In fodder for the nose and eyes. My fancy bulb has scent, indeed, ■ Wherein it stands alone; An odour of exotic breed, Peculiarly its own; A savoury effluvium, Prophetic of delights to come. It fills, that ultra-fragrant smell, My house from side to side; And" casts its aromatic spell On Nature, far and wide; With dainty sniffs, the passers-by Acknowledge its übiquity. I do not care about its blooms, Which matter not a whit; Nor decorate my living rooms With vases full of it. Its value, like the truest worth, Is hidden underneath the earth. But when the table’s duly set With butter, bread, and cheese, It’s better than the violet By several degrees. Consider —would a tulip make A decent dish, if fried with steak? And how would leedsii, when sliced, Agree with Irish stew ? Or could we have our salads spiced With hyacinths of blue? A leg of mutton would ho nausEating served with snowdrop sauce. So. spite of all the fans who fall For outward form and show, The, modest onion’s more than all The fancy flowers they grow. I’m. privileged in naming this The true lucomparabilis. * • * « The prevalent talk about the inevitability of war is distressing and may have the effect of provoking the very happening that so many statesmen say they are anxious to avoid, ft will be a thousand pities if arguments cannot be settled in. the future at Geneva, or at the Olympiads, or on the football field. Soccer, for instance, seems to have a more international flavour than Rugger. What a blessing it would be if the nations of the earth could bo induced to smooth out their differences by kicking a round, reasonably soft ball about and su bring even tho most important issues to a happy conclusion without loss of life and perhaps without any casualty more severe than the kind which might occur among milling spectators. Some may say that a Soccer “Ranfurly Sliicld ” ’might be a direct incentive to war, but I think the chances arc that by tho time nil the shouting and verbal squabbling was over the partisans of the various countries would have little energy left lor manipulatiug dangerous weapons. « ♦ # * An alternative method of eliminating warfare among humans would be the creation of robot armies, navies, and

air forces. This is a mechanised age. Therefore let t'o brains of the mechanics do the job and may the cleverer side win every time. The movements of aeroplanes and battleships, they say, can now be controlled from a distance by wireless. No doubt the further away one is from the scene of po: rihlo hostilities tho better. A naval goment in tho middle of the Atlani ■_ between crewless ships would be a con -irativcly safe, if costly, way of sett! ■ntornational disputes, and, as long as the problem of, “ where is the money to come from?” is overcome, workers would be kept busily reconstructing the fleet against the next butt!6 of the robots. It might be advisable to stage aerial combats at sea too.

The question of war by land would present greater difficulties. However, oven in this case it would bo preferable to let manless tanks and armoured cars career headlong at each other than allow blood to be spilled by poor infantrymen. It seems that infantry regiments are not popular among recruits these days. Every budding soldier wants to become part of tho groat mechanised scheme of things. Come to think of it, if real warfare over does break, out on a large scale the infantry may be tho safest fighting service to be in. If everybody wants to fly or rush about in armoured engines of destruction there will be nothing loft for the foot-slogger to do but to dig in deep and stay there. J they are left in charge of the stores, including the rum, it should be quite a jolly war—for them.

Despite the risks of stirring up strife on a larger scale, it appears to me that Britain is doing the right thing in adopting a stronger attitude towards the Arabs in Palestine. Those in a position to pronounce judgment on the situation from first-hand evidence have assured us that since organised settlement by the Jews has been facilitated the country, from the point of view of fertility and prosperity, has been reborn. Arabs, originally paid well for their land, have opportunities to improve their lot a hundredfold, and if they do not take advantage of those conditions their backwardness is duo to either their own stupidity or the malign influence of a revolutionary Power.

Mr St. John Ervine, in whose opinions I have faith, was not greatly impressed by the Arabs during his recent visit to Palestine and entirely disagrees with some other commentators that they are rather more than angels. He is not ready to believe that a ruling race can come out of a people whose infants' first articulate word is not “ Allah ” but “ Baksheesh.” That everlasting whine, he says, rang in his ears for the duration of his stay in Palestine Perhaps his summing-up of the Arabs’ great weakness will be corroborated by New Zealand troops who are no strangers to the Holy Land.

Mention of the fact that the late Admiral Sims, of the American Navy, was born in Canada, reminds me that New Zealand also has contributed at least one officer to the United States fleet. Many years ago a young man named Patrick Shanahan left the cheery family circle at Arrowtown to seek a livelihood abroad. Direct evidence that Mr Shanahan had made good was vouchsafed when the Amercan fleet visited our waters in 190 S Captain Shanahan he was then—captain of the U.S.S. Nebraska, and a very fine captain too. duty prevented him from dropping in on relatives and friends up country, but his wife, an American woman of much charm, journeyed down from Auckland to stay with his Irish mother while the fleet visted Sydney. Later she escorted Mrs Shanahan up north to see her distinguished son when his ship came to New Zealand. I understand that the New Zealander is now living in retirement in Dublin. Prior to taking that step, for all I know, he may have risen to still higher rank. » * * « Some minor and very harmless excitement occurred a couple of doors along the street the other evening. Mother bought an art union ticket and as a concession to the young offspring, called it theirs. When father came home ho remarked in a bantering fashion that the ticket had a “ rotten ’’ number and that good luck from it could not possibly be expected. The offspring did not immediately show their disapproval, but — An hour or so later the following conversation took place in the living room: Six-year-old son; ‘‘Have you ever been in a raffle, mum?” Dad (getting in first): “Of course, she won me in a raffle.” Six-year-old; ‘‘Golly, mum, you must have had an unluckv number!” * • * * Among the sunny Pyrenees A small republic sits at ease, And minds its own affairs; Which seems a laudable idea, Eor other nations don’t appear To relish minding theirs. Upon its southward side is Spain, Where everybody’s gone insane, As Dagoes often do; And very soon, it seems to me. The Spaniards, as a race, will be Comparatively few. It seems idyllic, does it not? To dwell in such a peaceful spot, Among the goats and cows; When just a mile or two away One’s neighbours pass each hectic day In sanguinary rows. To wander down the mountain side And watch two armies occupied In lighting, tooth and nail; No film that’s shown upon the screen Could feature such a thrilling scene On such a lavish scale. The army of this little State (To be precise and accurate) Consists of seven men, A number which, perhaps, might cause Some awkwardness In forming fours, When drilling now and then. Or possibly tho rank and file Are mechanised, in modern stylo, As other armies are; And so the seven, one and all, Are speeialists_ in general And in particular. One handy man to dig, and ono To operate a Lewis gun. And one to fly a plane; One fellow for the tank brigade. And ono to throw a hand grenade. That focmen may be slain. . Tliis loaves just two, you understand. But ono, of course, must take command— A general, at least, The other’s infantry, of course, Or cavalry, unless his horse Has previously deceased. Well, seeing such a brave array Defends Andorra’s homes to-day, Ono wonders greatly why She seeks assistance from afar, When all the valiant seven arc Prepared to do or die.