HOW TO CONVERSE

Evening Star, Issue 20051, 17 December 1928, Page 14

HOW TO CONVERSE

SIDE PRACTICAL HINTS Conversation, we are often t6ld, is a lost art. The reason may be that we have got into the way of always being in a hurry, and conversation demands quietness and leisure (writes “ W.C.8.,” m tho Birmingham ‘ Post ’). Perhaps, too, we have left off reading widely and thinking deeply, and therefore we have next to nothing to say when we meet our friends. Talking is not all that it might be, and most of our encounters with our friends prove lost opportunities, not always because wc or they are emptyheaded, but because wc do not think in advance of what wo are going to say. We take no pains to get ourselves ready, but leave everything to chance. Because wo meet without preparation we part without profit. For casual meetings we naturally can make no provision; we speak on whatever subject may arise. The result may or may not be helpful. But when we arrange a meeting, why should we not decide what to talk about and make the most of tho opportunity the encounter gives There is always something to be learnt from exchanging ideas. Why not get our ideas in order beforehand, settling the points we want to discuss and the questions wo intend to ask? Possibly wo may at times act to some extent on these lines, and decide, when we are going to meet a friend, to have a chat on some particular subject. But when the meeting is over, we find wc have not said half wo meant to say. Wo could save ourselves from wasting these precious opportunities by the simple process of making notes and taking them with us.

A host of voices will, ct course, protest that this procedure would do away with the whole charm of conversation making it formal and robbing it of that spontaneity which is its very essence. But need this be? What lies behind those brilliant and racy extempore speeches to which we listen with delight, those witty outpourings cf genius which make us rock with laughter?. Careful preparation—that is, as a rule, the secret of the pleasure they give—and notes as an aid to memory. Our failure in conversation is due to our neglect of this method. The ordinary man must think long before bo can speak effectively. We must, of course, avoid deserving the complaint that Queen Victoria made against Gladstone, and take care not to speak to u friend as if we were addressing s public meeting. Conversation, though it is speaking, does not moan making a speech; by its very nature it cannot ho one-sided, and each must have his turn, or it is not conversation at all. It is here that notes will prove a help. The one to whom we are talking may suddenly go off at a tangent and carry ns into regions of thought fai removed from those we had intended to explore. A glance at the slip pi paper in our hand or up our sleeve will remind us of tho points wc were in danger of forgetting, and then, like Mr Pumblechook. wo can lead the company gently back to tho theme fiom which they had strayed. WTicther we admit it or not, we are all brain-pickers, and intend to get whatever rnav he found in other people’s minds". A few carefully written notes will save us from losing our chance of increasing our store of knowledge and ideas. Practice will develop our ingenuity and enable us gradually to make a word do tho work of a sentence; as we become more skilful we use alliteration as an additional aid, while we shall so arrange our proposed subjects that each will lead easily and naturally to tho next. Writing, as Bacon says, maketh an exact man, and the man who learns the art of writing notes wall not be long in learning the art of conversation and turning it to account.