CASUAL COMMENTS

Evening Star, Issue 19800, 25 February 1928, Page 2

CASUAL COMMENTS

PLATFORMS AND POLICIES [By Leo Fanning.] Really the weather has been too warm lately for politics, but some of tho politicians have been pitilessly asking the people to lend their ears for a filling with figures of this, that, and the other thing (mostly tho same old thing). However, this article will not be political, except in tho sense of referenc'd to the difficulties nowadays in the making and shaping of platforms and policies X » * » \ New Zealand has a citizen, a former representative of Labor, who has made at least forty-nine platforms on which nobody has stood except himself—and his standings were only momentary. He used to fall through, but ho would begin again with the old materials, which were poor paper—not nearly as solid, alas, as he thought. His planks were punk and putty. If the various airy platforms of the past two decades could bo turned into real wood the timber millers would have a grievance with this over-production of building materials. « * * • A man has to be very wary - lest his political platform should turn into his own political gallows. As soon as he begins nailing down the planks somebody secretly becomes busy underneath with a silent fret saw, and a confederate is ready to slip a noose around the neck of the platformer when an opportune time comes for sliding the bolt of the trap door. It is easy to stand on a political platform, but much easier to fall from one. n $ * * Planks for tho making of platforms aro not so plentiful as they were, for the political field is like a goldfield or any other field; it works itself out. Richard Sodden had big scope; he wont far on new ground, but successors have gone still farther. There is nothing new to bo done along tho Seddonian line—not even in “tho humanities” which figured conspicuously in: Seddon’s last election campaign of IDOS, when many of his speeches included the recital of Bracken’s ‘Not Understood.’ Sir John Findlay had a try with “the humanities,” but the effort fizzled out. Indeed, finally, the softpedalling of political humanitarianism became comic. Albert Edward Glover (an Auckland representative), who perhaps took himself more seriously than other members of Parliament did, and raised much more laughter in the House than anybody else did, was a hard worker for “the humanities.” “ Mr Speaker, I have not been educated in Oxford or Cambridge, or even in the Auckland Grammar School,” little Albert once said (approximately). “I cannot speak fluently in ancient Greek or modern Arabic; but I have long been a student in tho university of the world—and there is one word I have learned to spell, Mr Speaker, and that word is humanitarianism.” Albert dropped into a sentimental quaver at the finish, a slow tremolo, which was greeted with a shout of laughter, much to his astonishment.

When the policy of “ the humanities ” is at perfection point, all widows’ tears will turn into diamonds, and charring will bo as unusual as tarring and feathering. The only cry of tho orphan will be one of Joy. • ♦ * * Some things, which may be good for the public, cannot be safely emphasised in a policy In the Ministry known as the “ Stop-gap ” —the Mackenzie Government, which lived fearfully and fretfully for four months between the Ward and Massey regimes—was a member who had a profound faith in fish by post—-or was it fish and chips? The notion was good enough—for fish is reputed to be an estimable food —and it might have helped to keep the Government in power if a big whale had not stupidly drifted ashore, three or four miles away from _ Parliament Buildings, when the Minister was reaching his top notes with his fish-by-post slogan. A humorist’s use of that whale put tho public in the wrong state of mind for the posted-fish benefaction. a * * * Similarly, several years ago an unsophisticated candidate, who was understood to be making fair progress, was slain by a carraway seed. Like other things in the war years, this little seed had taken on a big price—so much so that the familiar carraway seed cake was vanishing. One of the old domestic institutions was threatened; democracy was to be denied its carraway confection. _ Therefore, a grave man in the audience asked, in a colorless voice, whether the candidate w’as in favor of the development of a strong carraway-seed industry in New Zealand as a protection against exorbitant prices. “Yes,” said the candidate promptly, and thus finished his Eolitical career amidst laughter. If he acV only “ shooed ” the carraway seed into the background for a while lie might have made a new chapter of industrial history with it later on. * * * * Slot telephones used to be popular “planks” of platforms, but they have served their turn. They are nearly as common now as motor cycles. Perhaps wireless notions may give some help to wooers of the public—for example, free wireless concerts in public parks and gardens on Saturday and Sunday evenings (after church hours). B » •* * No doubt the ‘ Year Book ’ —a very obliging book, which any party can use to push itself onward and knock any other one backward—will continue to be the main raw material for new policies. Leading articles of newspapers, the published letters to editors (the unpublished ones might be better), and miscellaneous odds, and ends of print will also be carefully scanned for guidance. * # * * Of course, the world will always have the “New Jerusalem” policies of theorists ami dreamers—tho policies which require Aladdin’s lamp or a magical money tree. That kind of _ platformmaking came under the notice of tho shcewd Nigcolo Machiavelli. “Many have imagined republic and principalities which hnve_ never been seen or known to exist in reality,” he wrote; “for how we live is so far removed from how we ought to live that he who abandons what is done for what ought to be done will rather learn to bring about his own ruin than his preservation.” “Policy” had rather a sinister meaning in the days of Machiavelli and later on, as one may see in these words of the Shakespearean jester, Touchstone “ I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with theen infaction; I will o’errun thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ’ways; therefore tremble and depart.” * * * ♦ Bacon, who gave much thought to politics, warned the world against the cunning by which some ambitious persons scheme for power:—“ We take cunning for a sinister or crooked wisdom,” he wrote; “and 1 certainly there is a great difference between a cunning and a wise man, not only in point of honesty, but. in point of ability. There be some that can pack the • cards, and yet cannot play well; so there are some that are good in canvasses and factions that are otherwise weak men. Small wares and petty _ points of cunning are infinite, and it were a good

deed to make a Jist ol' them, for that nothing doth more hurt in a State than that running men pass for wise. . . . Some build rather upon the abusing of others, and putting tricks upon them, than upon soundness of their own proceedings.” ♦ * * * Years ago this commentator tried his hand in the writing of a model speech for candidates. Here is a passage offered free to any aspirant for the Premiership:—“l am of the people, for the people, by the people, with the people through thick and thin, fair and foul, and I would do the people as they should he done by me. I love this district and its monuments, its fair women (also the brunettes—iu fact, all the mild, medium, and full strength beauties of all colors and creeds} and its brave men. lam even the familiar friend of its animals; I know its oxen and its horses, its asses and goats. My faith in this district is as large and as firmly, fixed as its mountains or hills. I believe its cows are more cowy than any others; I believe its butter butts better than any other; I believe its birds are more birdy; but this great love and devotion do not blind me to the wonderful features of New Zealand. My heart is in the highlands of this district, and in the lowlands; but it is also in New Zealand, from sea to sea. (Tremendous applause.) I often shed a tear over the love Hinemoa for Tutanekai, and T feel proud of the fact that I have caught sprats where Maui fished up the North Island,”