WIT AND HUMOR.

Evening Star, Issue 4069, 11 March 1876, Page 2 (Supplement)

WIT AND HUMOR.

A man who spits ia a railroad car cannot expec-to rate ai a gentlemen. It is easy enough to imitate Josh Billings—thus: Doiii’t karrey egs in your coce-tale pocket. ain’t good after they’ve bin so; bn awhile.

Not Inconsolable, —A couple who have lost tbdr I ttle one, four yoa-s o d, ind cate by the following 'ines appe ded.to t'te record of her death tout their grief is not inconsolable:— “ Bailing Jennie, thou hast left-ns, . We miss your sunny smile and winning face; •Twill be lonely here without yon now, Till another cornea to All your place.” An African Price once off. red Du Chaillu bis choice of a wif ■ vent jenlous v he to<k them all. As he couldn’t hire anmeots for mch a crowd, tie was obli ed to camp out with them, and he >a,'B it surf a B<.d anysirawbery festival he ever attended

A country editor, d-’scr bi’g a new organ. Rays: “Tn-* S'ell di d avay in a delicious suffocation, like ope s u.i g a - watt oh.r und r the bed dot i b.” He Is pro net »r of a ‘th rd trm < rgan” and it ; s i-robab b th it hewr k now a l ab'.ut d licioua suffociti; n” one of the e days himself.

A very pracic'al termonizer made these reraa ks on t e soul saving quest onMy b-vthren, a man cannot aff ud to'use his sou! He’s got hot one, and he o n’t g. t another. If a man - l»e bis horse he can gtt ano her; if a man lose his wife he can get ano 1 her‘if a' man 'ose hik child he c*n get another. But if he lose his soul, good-bye, John ! ” A preacher out watt dec >nrsed npoa the good qualities of a cor;a n s tint so peisistendy that the enumeration of the holy man’s gra/te* became very ted o is, and when the pre acher sudden y exoaijmd by way of climax, ‘ Where shallw - put tU'saint, raised *she is," above angels, ai channels, and all virtue - ? Here one of the con,>r«-g.tion rose ffom bis Beat, and said, “Put himin my p’ace, for I am going.” A candidate for the office of Sheriff, at the re:cnt election in 'Nevada, add, after the close of a political oraton; —‘‘Build a worm fence-, around the Winter’s supply jof Summer weather, skim the clouds from the sky with a toaspoon, catch a thunder cloud in a bladder, break a hurricane to hj mess, ground s nice an cu’thquake, lasso an avalanche, pin a napkin on the crater of an active volcano—but never expect to sre me false to my piiucip'e* 1 ” He was not el cted, and. the last seen of him was crossing the Di vide with a bear-skin ulster on, and a demij-hn in his hand. “Cn Hang, the Chine e poet, has again bean inspired by the poetic muse, and thus discourses upon cheap labor ; ;; We are coming. Uncle Same? ' ■ Lee hundrui million Btiongh v ■ We are coming to makesAll saraee ae Hong ,;; ' ' - • wbtte < ”»■ AndmukeepodrwWteeloojnen