ABOUT ICE CREAM.

Evening Star, Issue 3956, 29 October 1875, Page 3

ABOUT ICE CREAM.

(From the ‘Detroit Free Press.’) He slipped iuto an ice-cream saloon very softly, and when the girl asked him what he wanted he replied : “ Corn beef, fr.ed potatoes, pickles, and mince pie,” “This is not a restaurant; this is an icecream parlor,” she said. “Then why did you ask me what I wanted ? Why didn’t you bring out your ice-croam ?” She went after it, and as she returned he continued : “ You see, my dear girl, you must infer —you must reason. It isn’t likely that I would come into an ice-cream parlor to buy a grindstone, is it ? You didn’t think I came in here to ask if you had any baled hav, did you ?” .'die looked at him in great surprise, and be went on : “ if 1 owned a hardware store, and you came in, I would infer that you came for something in my line. I would’nt step out aud ask you if you wanted to buy a mule would I?” fcho went away highly indignant. An old lady was devouring a dish of cream at the next table, and the stranger, after watching her for a moment, called out: “ My dear woman, have you found any hairs or buttons in your dish ? ” “ Mercy ! no ! ” she exclaimed, as she wheeled around and dropped her spoon. “ V/ell. I’m glad of it,” he continued. “If you find any just lot me know.” hhe looked at bun for half-a-minute, picked on the spoon, laid it down again, aud then r .'.io op end lef r. t ie room. She must have said oraetliing <o the proprietor, for he Ciiiift running in and exclaimed : “irid yon till that woman that there were hairs and buttons in my ice cro«m v ” “ No. fir.” “ You didn’t ?” “No sir, j did net; T merely requested her, in cam she found any sub irmr t .di ol -.t Q to i-' forni me.” * J '’ " 'A oil, str, that was a mean trick.” “ My dear sir,” raid the t-.tranger,’ smiling softly, “ did you expect me to a*k the woman if she had found a crnv.-b.ir or a, sledgehammer in her cream ? !t is iuipcsablc, ;ir for such articles to bo hidden away in such small dishes, ” The proprietor went away growling, and m the atxanger quietly supped away at his

cream two young ladiea came in, eat down near him, and ordered cream and cakes. He waited until they had eaten a little and then remarked : “ Beg pardon, ladies, but do you observe anything peculiar in the taste of this cream ? ” They tasted, smacked their lips, and were not certain. “ Does it taste to you as if a plug of tobacco had fallen into the freezer ? ” he asked. “Ah ! kah 1” they explained, dropping their spoons and trying to spit out what they^had eaten. Both rushed out, and it wasn’t long before the proprietor rushed in. “ See here, what in blazes are you talking about ? ” he demanded. “ What do you mean by plug tobacco in the freezer ?” “My kind friend, I asked the ladies if this cream tasted of plug tobacco. I don’t taste any such taste, and 1 don’c believe you ! used a bit of tobacco in it !” “Well, you don’t want to talk that way around here !” continued the proprietor. “My Ico cream is pure, and the man who says it isn’t tells a bold lie !” He went away again, and a woman with a Jong neck and a sad face sat down and said to the girl that she would take a small dish of lemon ice. It was brought, and she had taken about two mouthfuls when the stranger inquired : “ Excuse me, madam, but do you know how this cream was made have you an idea that they grated turnip and chalk with the cream ?” She didn’t reply. She slowly rose up, wheeled around, and made for the door. The stranger followed after, and, by great good luck, his coat-tails cleared the door au instant too soon to be struck by a live-pound box of figs hurled with great force by the indignant proprietor. As he reached the kerbstone he halted, looked at the door of the parlor and solilioquised : “ Thera are times when people should infer and there are times when they shouldn’t. I suppose i! I had asked that woman if she thought they hashed up a sawmill in the cream she’d have felt a circular-saw going do wn her throat. ’ ’