"HAPPY HOMES : HOW TO MAKE THEM."

Evening Star, Issue 3665, 20 November 1874, Page 2

"HAPPY HOMES : HOW TO MAKE THEM."

Mr B. Short, the travelling agent and lectuier of the Australian Mutual Provident Society, delivered a most interesting lecture on the above subject on Wednesday at the Temperance Hall. Between 300 and (300 persons were present, and the chair was occupied by Mr J. W. Jago. INTRODUCTORY. Mr Short commenced his remarks by saying that perhaps the two sweetest words in the English language were “home” and “mother.” the two could nt be well disconnected, and he dnl not know which of the two was the sweeter —perhaps “ mother ” was. Certain it was, however, the sweet idea of home could not be conceived without the kind, loving mother, and it was her gentle influence, care, and forethought that made the “happy home,” and without it that idea could not be properly realised. But to make the home complete there must be husband and wife. Husband was a compound of “house” and “band,” and denoted' his position as the provider and protector of the bouse; while the word “wife ” signified weaver, indicating the occupation of the wife in the household. Probably it was meant to indicate her handiwork ia the homo, but it would apply with more truth to the influence the wife could weave m the home to make it happy. The subject of the lecture was

HAmr homes, not wretched or unhappy ones. He was glad to see so many young people present who, he was sure, anticipated making happy homes for themselves, and he hoped, before he was done, to give them a hint or two to enable them to attain their desire. It was necessary to refer, in some degree, to unhappy homes, in order to show the more clearly how home was to be made happy. Bad temper was very frequently the primary cause of unhappiness in a home. Some very t nil mg cause would perhaps commence a stupid ifuamd, aod then tb huslAod, fiodip^

himself unhappy and uncomfortable at home, would betake himself to the public-house or other place of resort. He could well imagine that when young people were courting they could not realise the idea that they would ever quarrel with each other. Yet it was astonishing how soon they discovered that it was possible. The lecturer then related several telling anecdotes, illustrating the small be ginnings from which quarrels between husband and wife frequently arose, and the beneficial effects of their endeavoring to 1 dcase each other. He pointed out that the very effort of the wife to make her home ready for her husband’s arrival- - to make it clean, to get the washing out of the way, &c., produced a feeling within her that enabled her to meet him with a smile that was natural, and bom of Hie desire to please him and of pleasure at his gratification. He then put the casl of theJiusband who >s impressed with the idea that his wife is sullen and morose, and has not (he least noßou that site appears to be so because lie does not endeavor to make her otherwise ; be ause he makes no effort to show that he appreciates her housework, or to praise her in any way whatever. He related a case of the kind, of a man who had a good home, yet love seemed to have fled from it utterly. One day he took up a paper and found in it -an article headed, “ Praise Your Wife.” He began to read it, and found to his sin prise that it described his own case exactly. All the objections that lie would have urged against praising his wife were set forth in that article, the wretchedness of his home, deprived of the light of love, was truthfully ponrtrayed, and he was asked did it ever strike him that the blame was his own? Mo, indeed, he thought that could noi bo. He read on, however, and at last he just beheld himself in the glass that was presented to him ; he found liiimcL convinced and condemned ; he began bis courting over again; ho told his wife how his fellowworkmen remarked that his shirts always looked so nice, and Ins garments never wanted a button, and little by little he found that the writer of the article had given a true picture of himselL He followed the advice of the writer of tne article : lie made a clean breast of and told his wife how grieved he was to thinkthat ho should have expected all the loving kindness he had received from her and yet never have recognised it. The poor wife coidd scarcely credit what-she was hearing ; she burst into tears and told her nusbaiul how happy she felt. There was no appearance of sullenness again in that home. Some people did not believe in praising anyone In recognising kindness received. That was a very great mistake. It was astonishing how a word of acknowledgment helped persons along. It was like applying an oiled feather to a rusty nmge. Some persons banged the door and made a great noise, when a little oil would have eased all difficulty. The soft word was like the oil to the rusty hinge. The lecturer then dwelt upon the fully and evil of married people pulling against each otner, instead of joining their strength in one direction, and expressed uis opinion th;it much. uuluip[>iii6s>s could be avoided by acting upon

SOJlli SOUND ADVICE. Toung people, alter marriage, should not recognise too freely those who, before marriage, stood iu relation to them more than friends. A good many unhappy homes arose through mothers-in-law or sisters-in-law. The w.fo should be made mistress of her house, and neither the mother-in-law or sister-in-law should share with her the control of it. Sisfcers-in-law—-he did nor-, however, say all of them—were very jealous ; and both sisters-iu-law and mothers-in-law, a*rd as a rule ; 11 near relatives, were better’ friends when Irving a little away from each other. People should live within their means, and care should be taken to provide in a season of plenty for a time of treed. Life assurance made provision for-the early as well as advanced winter of life, and it made it in such a way as to commend it ; elf to every thoughtful man. But above all, if a realty happy home was wanted, it must be a Christian one. And there must be confidence and love in the home. To secure a happy home tire children must be made happy. They must not be tinust aside and put out of the way as if they were inconveniences. It struck him children were too much neglected. People were apt to say, ‘ Oh, cnildren in the Colonies are Cm precocious.” Who were to blame, for that? train up a child in tire way lie should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” If lightly trained, the children would turn ■ ut right. Some people pointed to some families, the head of which was a clergyman. But tire mere fact of the father being a clergyman did rrot make it follow that tire childmr’were propoly trained. Ife could quite conceive clergymen's children turning out yicioua. There the preaching had been right} but what had been the practice ? Children saw what their parents were better than outsiders. Talking would not do if the practice was inconsistent; and if a man’s life was proper and right, his children would turn out rigdit. lie would read twenty maxims which, if realised, would produce a happy home : “ Never talk at one another, alone or iu company. Never both be angry at once. Never speak loud to one another, unless the house is on fire. Let each one strive to yield oftenest to the wishes of the other. Let self-denial be the daily aim and practice of each. Never find fault until it is perfectly certain that a fault has been committed, and always speak lovingly. Never taunt with a past mistake. Neglect the whole world beside rather than one another. Never allow a request to be repeated. Never make a remark at the expense of each other. Never part for a day without loving words to think of during absence. Never meet without a loving welcome. Never let the sun go down upon any anger or grievance. Never let any fault you have committed go by until you have frankly confessed it and asked for forgiveness. Never forgot the happy hours of early love. Never sigh over what might have been, but make the best of what is. Never forget that marriage is ordained of God, and that his blessing alone can make it what it should ever be. Never be contented till you know you are both walking in the narrow way. Never let your hopes stop short of the eternal home.” s’lfE ADVANTAGES OF ASSURANCE.

It was a most rational thing to remember that there w;rs a \yiu,tev as well as a summer, ami to lay up in the latter $ store for the winter of life. Some people did not believe jt right to make provision for the future. To lay up money, and make a god of it, was of course a very wrong thing, but that was very different from providing for a time of need. It should be remembered that it frequently became winter in the very spring of life, and that therefore provision by accumulating savings was not equal to life assurance. In the latter, the moment a man paid his premium he placed his family {in case of his death) in the same position as if lie had accumulated the whole amount. The influence of life assurance upon the mind could not' but be valuable. A man must be less anxious when he knows that ho has made a provision for his family than a man who had not done so. The lecturer related several instances where a small insurance had saved the family from ruin at the death of the father. In one case a tailor in Sydney had insured for L9OO, and ten months afterwards died, owing Ll5O, Everything would have been swept away by the creditors, but the insurance money paid what was owing, and enabled the widow to continue the business. Another case was that of a baker in Nelson", who had insured for LIOO, and who also dying a twelvemonth afterwards in debt, his ‘proat LSOO, would have been sacrificed for _L2OO, but for the insurance money. And yet it only cost him Is a week for about twelve months ! Another of instances, whicli might bo greatly multiplied, was the case .of the late Mr David Hunter, who built the I 1 irst Church, and who shortly before he was drowned insured his life in the Australian Mutual Office for LSOO. A still more remarkable case was that of a well-known resident in Wellington, who insured his life for L.-00, a few days afterwards was seized with a cold, and in twenty days from paying his first premium was a corpse. The lecturer condemned the procrastination of some people who put off tho time until it was too late, and related several instances of persons who could have passed examination at one time, but who. by delaying tlioir applications, found themselves refused because disease of some kind had meanwhile developed itself. Men who constantly replied “ There’s plenty of time,” forgot that the simplest accident often took away human life. Let those persons look at the Australian Mutual Society’s death register. During the first seventeen years of its ftwtwrtb, one in eV«y eis dfritJjß suited from

accident, but since that time the tables bail turned, and the proporlion was not quite so large. In Great Britain, in one year, 16,009 persons met their deaths by accident, and thmudi wo had not so many railways as were in existence iu the Home country the prrporunn of deaths by accidents in the* Colonics was greater. A few years ago he was in treaty wl hj the Ace.dental Death UlHce of Loudon, but, aliriough he oficrcd to double their rates iu the Colonies, that Society would not tike the ride, because it was greater iu the Colonies than at Home, Thus how neec.ful it was for a man. however strong or abstemious, to make the provision for ms family, or those who might ultimately be dep-mdi'iit upon hi e, which the life assurance system provided? Some persons thought thev could do better with their money than'by paying it into an assurance society, but that was i eally not the case, because, a.s lie had before observed, one payment actually secured the money which it would take a man many years to accumulate. Persons who intended to many, as well as those who were already married, should insure; and he would observe that it had been ascertained that those who married at thirty lived seven years longer than those who did not, and those who married at twentytwo lived ten years longer. Those who intended to marry would very likely find their. course made easier in getting the consent of parents, if they could show that they had made a provision against any casualty by insuring their lives. A young lady’s father might very well say to an intended husband for hia daughter that he had better wait until he had saved up, but there would be no necessity for waiting if the young man’s life was insured. W as not that a good reason for young men insuring their lives ? WHAT TO INSURE IN. The only two schemes before the public of this Colony were the Government and the Australian Mutual Provident Society. He had no intention whatever of running down or depreciating the Govemment scheme. New Zealand was quite large enough for both. 'When, twelve months ago, he heard that the agent of the Government scheme was in Dunedin, he declined to visit the place, because he thought it was humiliating for two agents for the same house to be dunning people.' Ho said the Government agent should have the field to himself ; and when he was done, he would come down, feeling sure that tlicie would be a few crumbs left for tho Mutual Society. Tlmreforc; if he made any fcmnp.v. Isons they would be simply as a matter of business, and not for the purpose of depreciating the Government scheme. He would just i\lcr to the position of the Australian Provident Society. It was purely a mutual one; the whole of its profits belonged to the policy holders themselves, while with a puuniefcavy company a proportion of the" profits went into the pockets of the shareholders. It was an extension of _ the principle of the Friendly Societies, which co-operated for the purposes of providing in case of sickness or benevolence ; Wiiilo the Mutual Provident Society made provision for the c ilamity of one’s death". During the twenty-five years of its existence the Australian Provident Society had paid away nearly half-a-mi'lion of money to families which otherwise would have been left dependent or unprovided for. Some people said to him, “ Oh, yes ; but you advocate this because you are paid.” True, he did not pretend to be a philanthropist, and he could not live upon air any more than the medical man, who was paid for preseribin g, or the minister for preaching the gospel. As it was righteous for them to get their living by their callings, so it was righteous for him to advocate life a suraime. The workman was worthy of his hire. He was free to admit the Australian Mutual Society did not believe in reckless advertising. It advertised judiciously, Irak thought it more effect! m to hold meetings like the present and explain the advantages the society offered. During the last three years iu New Zealand L 600.000 worth of insurances had been effected by Ins agency alone.

THE AI.iVANT.UIU.S OU THE MUTUAL SOCIETY. Every member of the Society was kept well posted up in its affairs. The re [tort of the last five years’ transactions was a notable one, because it_ was a complete record of tbe Society’s transactions ; and in referring to it the Melbourne ‘ Argus ’ of 19bh October said “ 'The outcome of the fifth quinquennial investigation conducted under the new regulations has just been placed in the hands of Victorian members of the .Society, and the resiilts arc such as could hardly be surpassed by any life company iu the world. Mr Morrice Black is certainly the most candid of actuaries. Not only does he conform to every requirement of the English Life Assurance Act, but he tells moie than the law asks him to tell. There is really no question which could arise about the Society’s which is not anticipated in the quinquennial fifty-page report which he submits. Not only are the great totals marshalled in imposing array, but every item is dissected, and the inner working of the Society is shown as distinctly as the mechanism of a skeleton clock under a glass shade. The income and outgo of each year of the quarter century the Society has been in existence is given. The rei'orc is a model document, which, if generally followed, would render legislation upon tho subject of life assurance almost superfluous. Perhaps the. most surprising feature iu the report we have ben discussing is the comparison of the new business with that of the leading English companies. It distances them all in the number of new policies issued. To have won such a position as this is an achievement of which the directors of the Australian Mutual Provident Society may well feel proud. Nor would it be the least cause of self-gratula-tion to conjure up the images of penury and suffering averted by the simple statement, ‘ total amount assured seven millions.’ ”

Within the last five years the Society’s actuary (Mr Black) was sent to England to Consult with four of the leading actuaries at Home about certain proposed changes, with a view to a more equitable mode of distributing the profits. Those proposals received the concurrence of nearly every actuary to whom they were submitted, and when lie said he received the concurrence of the president, two vicepresidents, and secretary .of the English Institute of Actuaries they should command confidence they could not otherwise possess. In fifty stated cpiestious, the complete and actual position of the Society’s affairs was placed before those gentlemen, and with tins' result :—Air Tucker 1 , the president of the Institute, said i “ It is gratifying to find, from tiie report presented to the members in April last, that the Society still maintains the Jrigh and prosperous condition which it had attained in 1809.” Mr Bailey, one of the vice-presidents, said: “ I may be allowed tc express my gratification at the very prospei ms condition of the Society’s affairs which this inquiry has impressed on my mind.” Mi Sprague, another of the vice-presidents: “I beg leave to express my firm belief that the ]■' • posed changes will operate most beneficially to promote the popularity of the Society, and carry it to a still higher degree of prosperity.’’ Mr Hardy, the secretary stated : “I would also desire• to state my high and most unfeigned appreciation of the financial position of the Society, which I have carefully tested. I unreservedly accept and fidopt Mr Black’s views upon this point, and sincerely congratulate the members upon their present position and future prospects.” And lastly, Mr Black himself, in winding up his report, said : “The profit to he allotted among members exceeds the sum divided on the last occasion by L 135.053. Largo os are the bonuses to be now declared (and they are very large when compared with the bonuses of any of the English offices), it would not have been proper—in fact it would have been unjust to the present members-to make greater provisions for the liabilities than lias been made. The society is in a very strong position—fortified, in fact, to an extent which can only be fully appreciated by those conversant _ with the relative positions of life assurance institutions.” It was only fair to state, because many persons had said things calculated to depreciate the soundness of tho security by the Society, that the Society had actually in hand 90 per cent, of all premiums received from every living member of it: L9O for every LIOO received, and represented by most reliable securities. The test was about 50 per cent., so that the Society’s position was 40 per cent, above that. Within the next six weeks members of the Society would receive their bonus certificates, ami there would be actually distributed on that account L 233.000, which, with bonus additions, represented a sum of lASO,OOO~o'r bio,ooo mare tfeaa tfte wjwle I

of the bonuses of the previous twenty yean). \ et people had said the Society would never be able to do what it had formerly done. But facts 1 ike those he had given spoke louder than words, rormeny the Society had no tables without bonus additions; therefore, a comparison bei ween its and the Government tables - was not fan, unless .that- fact was taken into consideration; but if the lowest table was compared it would be found that the Society s rates were actually lower. A man thirty years of age paid the Government L2 Os (id per L10U; with the Society the premium was LI 17s 0.1. and a man of thirtvtwo only paid L2 0j Id, being 5d lower than was charged by the Government for the thirty-two. Thirty years was the fair medium to take. He did not wish to depreciate the Government scheme; however, he was not aware it allowed its policyholders to travel all round the world without extra premium as the Society did immediately he insured. Again, it a man was insured iu the Society for more than thirteen mouths his policy became indefeasible, uor did he lose it so long as its surrender value was sufficient to pay for the next year’s premium. If a member of the Society for three years he could borrow 90 per cent, of the surrender value by simply -signing a letter. In this way the Society had LIOO,OOO out on loan. He (Mr Short) had borrowed L 70 0; he had twelve policies in the Society, and was not only its lecturer but lie believed its largest policyholder If he did not believe in it would be have paid L 1,200 into it? He had been a member of tbe Society fourteen or fifteen years, and the surrender value of ™ T^n’on 0 ' had paid in amounted to LijUoO. He could borrow up to L9BO without being under any obligation to pay back one sixpence of it, so long as interest was paid. Was not that a boon? Did not that gave some idea of what co operation meant ? JS T o one could lose sight of such an immense advantage as that. He would like people to understand that t-be premiums received in the Colony were not taken out of it. Many people were not aware of that fact, ihere was a board of directors for each Colony, and all the business done in New Zealand was controlled by tbe board of directors for the Colony. The Mutual Provident Society was as much a New Zealand Society as if it had been started in New Zealand. The Society’s eggs were not confined to one basket. While they had L 170,000 invested in the securities of this Colony they had L 1.100,000 in those of the other Colonies. Supposing a crisis were to he™ the Society would not sell out: the bulk of their securities were elsewhere, and they were stronger by distributing their risks. He strongly recommended young men between the ages of seventeen and twenty to insure ; because at early ages the premiums were very small. <V bile hundreds of proprietary societies had taileil he could not trace a single instance of a mutual office that had had been in existence twenty years failing. The Scottish Widows’ and the Lnghsh Equitable Societies were remarkable instances. The latter had been in ex. istence 112 years, had now millions of money to r- e » an(i increased its policies from Lo 000 to over L2Q,000. Originally the society took a fixed rate all through life; therefore the bonuses would be heavier than now He referred to the case of the late Mr Freshfield. solicitor of the Bank of England, who in 1802 insured for L 5.000, and when he died in 1864 W,500 10s was paid to his executors. He had already said the Mutual Provident Society • VV*A his year L 23 5-000 in cash, or LGd4.OOO in added bonuses, which was done out of the profits of the business, and he would tell them how. They had no doubt all heard of the Carlisle system, which the Government and the Mutual Society use.). That was a set of tables calculated upon the average rate of death in Carlisle, taken over a long series of years. That death rate included all lives, bad as well as good, the premium being charged just as if everybody was taken ; but the Mutual selected , I ' e ] ec ting the bad ones, and so gained the c.i.ieience. thus it was that the Society had only had seventy die out of every 100-that were expected to die, gaining 30 per cent, in tho dmerencc. And who got that gain ? Why the insurers; but the Society had also groat advantages in investing its money, and frequently mack large profits in that way. Some short time since tho Society cleared about 1,20,000 in New South Wales debentures, by purchasing them when they were at a discount, and selling them when they got to par. ihe policyholders benefited by that, for they P* ? sh.ire of the profit. Another security which insurers in New Zealand had was that the Society had deposited L 20.000 with the public trustee of the Colony, and’ any pers™{ b y paying ss, could register his policy with the trustee and obtain the additional security thus afforded. The Society’s premiums were made up of two calculations—one for risk and the other for expenses. In five years they did not absorb by LIOO,OOO that portions of the premiums paid for expenses, consequently that sum was saved; yet the takes were framed upon the 4 per cent, computation. All made above that went to the policyholders. The Society lent g, sum (large sums) upon the samp terms as the building societies, which returned to the. Society a much higher rate of interest. People could not make a mistake in joining this Society. But if they were still m doubt as to the - security offered and thought the security of the Government scheme better, he advised them rather to go to the latter than neglect to insure. Still, as the advocate of the Mutual Provident Society, he told them he knew of no reason why their security should be questioned. But Government schemes did not always suceed; though he did not say this would be tbe case in New Z aland. Twelve or thirteen years ago the Government of New Sofiith Wales commenced a . *md of life insurance scheme—a superannuation scheme it was called—and contributed tlie sum of LIO,OOO as a foundation for it. For a number of years it wont on all right; but three years ago it was found to be insolvent, and was wound «p. Members of the Civil Service of the Colony had to pay into this fund 4 per cent, of their incomes; when it was wound up they received their premiums with 5 per cent, interest • but ou coming to the Australian Mutual Society many lives were refused, where formerly they would have passed. When the security of the Mutual Society was impeached, he thought he was justified in pointing to the case of New South Wales that all Government schemes did not succeed. He repeated that he had no desire y cl *^' c * se the Government scheme of tins Colony; but there was no reason to doubt the Australian Mutual. All its profits went to the policy holders. It had been in existence twenty-hve years, and had more than paid -out tof interest alone every death claim that had been made upon it. Therefore people were short-sighted if they did not insure with the Society. Mr Black believes that in a very few years the Society would be able. r S2Si e American “ utual offices, to distribute L 200.000 a-year m that way. In a word, the prospects of the Australian Mutual Society were brighter than they had ever before been it could not possibly fail unless the laws of mortality altered. In winding up his remarks on the important duty of making provision for wife and family, Mr Short related some particulars of a case that was made public in Sydney on a coroner’s inquest being held on the body of a woman who had died under most reveltine circumstances. Tho deceased had at one time been a most cleanly and respectable woman, and aU went well with her until her husband d!ed ; He had left some debts, and she had parted with some trinkets to pay them. She then moved away to more humble quarters and with the proceeds of what trinkets and other things remained to her she contrived to maintain herself and children. But that source ceased iu time, and yet she could not see her children starve. Tbe result was that she sank to the lowest degradation, and no one who saw her then could have imagined that she was the same woman who had been loved and honored while her husband lived. She became vi™ SCr wi le a .-P«y to -drunkenness and vice. Who was m fault for that ? Who but Ihe Rev. Dr RosebV, in proposing a vote of thanks to the lecturer for 'his admirable lecture, and said that as a philantrophist and a Christian minister he’ considered it his duty to urge his friends to insure their lives. And with respect to the par* ticular society, the claims of which had, been advocated by tbb lecturer, thb \m ptfsfcjmJ

commendiition he could give was to tell his hearers that he was a policy-holder in it himself.

Mr Chisholm, also a member of the Society, seconded ilio motion.

At the close of the meeting twelve persons came forward and filled up applications fer insurance ; and since the meeting the number has been greatly increased.