AN ESSAY ON WOMAN.

Evening Star, Issue 3655, 9 November 1874, Page 3

AN ESSAY ON WOMAN.

From a paper on “ Woman,” said to have been recently read before the Arrow Debating Club, we make a few extracts. We agree with the * Observer ’ in expressing regret that the author’s name should not have been made public, as the ladies would naturally be anxious to show their appreciation of his talents. An old bachelor he must be; and such, we should imagine he is likely to remain ;

■—“ A woman’s form when walking is naturally erect and graceful; but being devout worshippers of the goddess Fashion, whose nod they must obey, and she being a very jealous goddess, impose certain distortions to be worn by them for fear they should become too beautiful. The first of these distortions is the Grecian bend, which cants the body out of the perpendicular, and throws it forward. This, combined with the high heels of their boots, placed under the middle of the boots', throws their arms forward as they hurry through the street, as if about to drop pn a]l-fours, oi: embrace tfce first person

they meet. This accounts for the forwardness of the girls of our day. But to counterbalance this forward motion, Fashion has wisely provided her with ballast iri the form of a chignon, which may be described as an enormous excresence protruding from the back of the head, which increases to an alarming extent the bump of selfesteem, and makes the head appear as if the animal propensities predominated. Women are gregarious animals, though they seldom herd together'. We have only one instance in history where they do congregate, and these were the Amazons, who once founded an empire on the banks of the river Tbermadon, in Asia Minor, But, bold as they were, they could not hold out long, for they used to swim across r the river to play with the Greek warriors, and forget to go back again ; and in this manner they were all captured. They may be easily distinguished from men in having no capillary appendage on the nether jaw. Sages have accounted for this by the fact that the constant wagging of the jaw did not allow the seed time to germinate. Women possess a considerable amount of electric and magnetic influence, the powers of attraction and repulsion being singularly combined. With her eyes she can magnetise you ; with her voice she can electrify you : with her smile she can attract you, and make the blood course freely through your veins ; with her frowns she can repulse you, and make yon feel as though cold water was trickling down your back. Women are very dexterous when angling for a mate, and sometimes very cruel. They bait their hooks with a lavish display of charms, either natural or artificial, or both combined. Her tongue is steeped in honey, the sweetest smiles play I’ound her rosy lips. She seems all gentleness and love. The Grecian bend gives her a gentle stoop, but she only stoops to conquer. When the bait takes, and they have got the hook fairly in your gills, they begin to sport with your feelings ; sometimes hauling you up to the bank of their affection, then giving you the cold shoulder then letting you slip off into the cold stream again ; then winding you up on another tack; without any consideration whatever for your feelings, which are stretched on the rack of expectation and galled and wounded by the barbed hook that is sticking in your gills, until in desperation a man breaks the line and bolts down the stream with the hook rankling in his flesh. When a woman serves two or three this way, men get shy of her, and no matter what bait she puts on will only nibble at it, unless she puts on a golden one, which might succeed. The woman. then becomes desperate, drops her angle and wears a net with which she frequents places of public resort, and stands ready to cast it over the first unwary man that only sniffs at the bait, without|waiting even for a nibble. Women when captured and united to men are very useful creatures, sometimes very docile, and affectionate to their keepers, and very fond of their young. They are very easily domesticated, and will assist a man in all his concerns if properly tamed.”