CLIPPINGS.

Evening Star, Issue 3117, 14 February 1873, Page 3

CLIPPINGS.

Punch has found a man too lazy to labor under an impression. Autumnal Question. —When does a greengrocer arrive at ripe age? What fruit is most visionary ? The apple of the eye. The fastest thing out—A conductor’s baton. It beats time. An Irish editor says—“l know of no earthly reastn why women cannot become medical men.” An Hlinois man who sat on the railway to read the newspaper furnished an item for the next day’s column of accidents. The Man Most Likely to Make his Mark in the World.—One who cannot write his own name. Dangerous Acquaintances.—Those who *• take life ” cheerfully. Rather Ambiguous,—The following advertisement appears in a provincial newspaper : “Two sisters want washing. Address—-’’ The Children’s Kingdom —Lap-land. Killing Time.—lnstant execution. A Trying Situation.—A seaton the bench. Trials for Human Understanding.—Long walks. The Jewish Chronicle says “ A society of Atheists has been formed at Venice. They recently sent an address of congratulation to King Victor Emmanuel on tho escape of his son and daughter-in-law from assassination. Oddly enough, forgetting they were Atheists, they ‘thanked Div : ne Providence for the miraculous escape,”’ &c. A philosopher, who married a vulgar but amiable girl, used to call bis wife brown sugar, because, he said, she was sweet, but unrefined. The first exclamation of an American belle on entering the cathedral at Milan, was, “Oh, what a church to get married in !” A judge of Milesian extraction charged a jury as follows : “ Gentlemen of the jury you must find that the defendant is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. A reasonable doubt is such a doubt as will convince a reasonable man that the defendant is not guUty,”

Carpets are bought by the yard and worn by the foot. “That man,” said a wag, “came to this city 40 years ago, purchased a basket, and aommenced gathering rags. How much do you suppose he is worth now ?” We gave it up. “ Nothing,” he confined, after a pause, *• and he owes for the basket.”

When we are drawn by iron horses on iron roads, construct iron houses, build iron ships, sleep on iron beds, sit in iron chairs, drink from irou fountains, and those of us who have any money, keep it locked up in iron safes, and those who have not are locked up in iron gaols, may we not with propriety call this the “ age of iron ?” A street rumor is current that one. of Denver’s dentists on being recently introduced to one of the Denver belles, gracefully opened the conversation by saying, “ Miss , I hope that I may consider that we are not entirely unacquainted, I bad the pleasure of pulling out a tooth for your father a short time ago ” A very singular fact is narrated by the Agricultural Gazette of India, viz. That love of opium is not confined to men and women, hut that the lower animals which have once tasted it are as much captivated by it as a Chinaman. The poppy fields in China are carefully fenced, to prevent the intrusion of cattle and horses, and oxen which have been fed on the plant, pine and die when deprived of it. Pigs fed on poppyheads fatten rapidly, but must soon be slanghtered. It is said concerning the bees, formerly so numerous in Yunan, that they betook themselves exclusively to the poppy flower, and afte wards could not regain their taste for any other floral food. It is fuither related that in an opium manufactory at Yunan, it was found that the rats would come at nightfall to inhale the fumes which escaped from the coppers, upon a sort of bas-ket-work, forming a platform beneath the furnaces. At the time of the capture of the town by the rebels, the factory was given up, and the premises remained deserted for a time. A new proprietor soon after came to take up bis abode in them, when he found upon the wicker-work a number of rats which had come to die at the place where they had been accustomed to inhale the fumes.

Mr Spurgeon is stated to have been considerably aggravated by a “ printer’s error,” which has jumped—crept is not the word f or it—into his particular literary organ, the Sword and Trowel, known by the rreverent unfaithful iu “the trade” as the “Soapand Towel.” Among the regular advertisements in this pious print is one referring as follows to the reverend gentleman’s sermons : “ Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit, containing G. H, Spurgeon’s sermons. The publishers cal) attention to the remarkable fact that they have issued Mr Spurgeon’s sermons weekly for more than s 6 years, and that all this time the circulation has not ouly been very largo, but has steadily increased. This unparalleled fact, unprecedented in the pulpit of any age or church, speaks for itself, and is a higher eulogium than the most friendly reviewer could pronounce. It is also noteworthy that an equally warm reception has been given to the American edition, an l that Dutch, German and Swedish translations have commanded an extensive pale, and the sermons have been acceptab’y received in Welsh, • anish, and Italian.” The advertiser’s disquiet may he imagined when there followed, without*any break except a colon, after “Italian” in the sentence just quoted, the words “ Entirely and effectually cures scurvy, ringworm, itch, redness, pimples, bletcht-8, eruptions, oezama, and every form of such disease ; also wounds and ulcers, with absolute and unfailing certainty.” An Irish paper, last year, by a similar transposition, gave the dress of the bridesmaids to the archbishop officiating at a fashionable wedding, “ His Grace was attired in white tarlatan,” &c.