ROUND NEW ZEALAND.

Evening Star, Issue 3013, 15 October 1872, Page 2

ROUND NEW ZEALAND.

{Hg our Travelling Repo\ ter. )

IKTKODUCTCK.V. I have been eo busily engaged in the perusal of Hansard, that all my spare time has lately been occupied in digesting its fascinating contents. “Dreary Murray” look me fully two nights to get over; Deader Wood a week to understand ; the member for Hokitika gave me a character I shall incorporate in a .New Zealand novel I intend writing, while our “Donald,” Curtis, and selfimpugning Fitz. combined, left such a triple comming ed impression on my liver, that I have' been compelled to confine myself to such stimulating beverages as mild coffee, seltzer water, and drinks analogous, so abhorrent to my whiskey loving soul. I read the immigration amt public -works debate a I through, and divesting myself ot prejudice tried to judge fairly, and came to that long editor of Oamaru’s conclusion as to the charges laid against the Government—-“not proven. ” Knowing how anxious the public would be to have an impartial opinion on the matter, never for a moment dreaming that they would read such endless iteration through, and considering how anxiously your readers would wait to hear what I had to say on the matter, I hit on the following plan, which I commend both for its originality and perfectly satisfactory character : / caught a new chum—a man of average education and common sense, and managed by persuasion and the purchase of a keg of whisk -7, to induce him to wade through the debate and give me his opinion as to the truth of the charges made by Stafford, Curtis, and Co , against William and his clan. The experiment resulted to my satiffaction, though the experimenter swears le would not go through such another ordeal for a hogshead instead of a keg. He thus gave his opinion when the debate was finished : “ That long-w ntlod complimentary beggar who called himself an old woman unconsciously hit the nail on the head. In my remarks I shall unsex him. In her old age she saw a child born to a neighbour, and, mourning over the inexperience of the mother who has given it birth, she calls all her old cronies together, and, by sheer force of numbers, scolding, and clamor, takes the babe from its proper guardianship to nurse herself, volunteering to make the pap, the swaddlfug clothes, to watch the nurse, and to purchase Godfrey and Steadman’s elixirs incontinently. To the mother’s entreaty to nurse her own child, she an I her confreres exclaim simultaneously, ‘ Impossible, my dear ! You know noth! y about the croup, the measles, or the lr oping cough not even how to wash the child—so we’ll take it off your hands, and you get well again. What a beautiful baby ! How like his father ! All right, dear ; we know better than you what should be done, so be quiet and get well.’ Women, you know, rule the world,; and had the number you appear to have in your Legislative Assembly been youog and witty, instead of old and senile, why 1 would have gone and seen than. Brew another jug of punch.” You thus hiye in a short and simple man: uer the result of my experiment and the experimenters’ words vtr aiiim. lam ndt, remember, responsible for their tone—only for their truthful transcription. In my next you shall have my long-deferred continuation of my lust Marlborough epistle.