Page 3 Advertisements Column 1

Evening Star, Volume IX, Issue 2761, 22 December 1871, Page 3

A Battle-Cry for the Rich.—To alms! Why is buttermilk like something which never happened ?—Because it hasn’t a curd (occurred). Jinks says that wedding-rings ought to be re-christened suffer- rings. He has been married five years. A Thif.f returned some abstracted clothing that proved too small, and wrote to the owner that he would wait for him to grow. Fortune’s hand, says a poverty-stricken writing-master, is remarkable for its heavy down-strokes. A sugar whistle has been invented by an ingenious Yankee, which is guaranteed to give sweet music. Some young men are a little partial to blue-eyed maidens. Others like the darkled. But the mon-eyed girls have the most admirers, When a man has no design but to speak plain truth he may say a great deal in a very narrow compass. Every Fool knows how often he has been a rogue, but every rogue does not know how often he has been a fool. Of the 1001 young ladies who fainted last year, 997 fell into the arms of gentlemen, two fell on the floor, and one into a waterbutt. True religion shows its influence in every part of our conduct; it is like the sap of a living tree, which penetrates the most distant boughs. Darning. —On hearing the report that the shocking condition of the fireman's hose had resulted in the destruction of a large amount of property, dear Mrs Chibbles sat up all night darning her husband’s stockings. Sight of Gold. —A modern scientific writer, we see, says“ One of the prettiest sights the human eye ever rested upon is gold in its liquid state.” Perhaps ; but let us be satisfied with it solid. An, Indeed !—What is the difference between a rhododendron and a cold appledumpling ? (Perfectly obvious, and yet nobody ever guesses it.)— Why, of course, the one is a rhododendron, and the other is a cold apple-dumpling. A Distinction with a Difference. - Young men now-a-days have a shocking disregard for the Scriptures. Solomon said, Go to the ant, thou sluggard’-’.; yet the majority of our sluggards irreverently persist in going to their uncles ! Advertisements reC3ived too late for Classification. -J3 KO CESS THEATRE. AMERICAN EXCELSIOR MINSTRELS * TO-NIGHT, FRIDAY EVENING, DECEMBER 22, Grahd Complimentary BENEFIT to MR. HARRY KELLY, under distinguished patronage. First appearance of My Harry Clowlc Operatic Chorus—Do they think of nie at Home—Ten Little Niggers—Wandering Rafugee—Letter in the C^iuUq. m NELL’S THE BELLE, Harry Kelly, (First time.) JAP ON KNEES. JAP ON KNEES. Box Plan at Geddes’s, Tobacconist. Princes-st Doors open at 7.30, To commence at 8 o’clock Admission, dress circle, 3s ; stalls, 2s ; pit, Is Mr H, KELLY, Mr HARRY COWLB, Manager. Advance Courier. M ASO N I C BACHELDER’S GRAND H ALL. DIORAMA OF THE AMERICAN WAR HAS ARRIVED And will appear (This) THURSDAY, and during the week. BOXING DAY. A GRAND ANNUAL PIC-NIC of the A. PORT CHALMERS M.U.1.0.0.F., rill be held at the Sawyer’s Bay Butts on he above day. . . . , There will also be a Shooting Matcli tor >rizes in kind open to all, rifles and ammulition, on the ground. A large programme of Gymnastics. Pjfyeshmcpts and music on the ground. Coaches will leave Dodson’s Provincial lotcl every half-hour, fares sixpence. No dogs allowed on the ground. A GRAND BALL will be held at Cricknorc’s Royal Hotel in the evening. Single Pickets, 4s ; double ditto, ss. BOXING DAY. THE MANCHESTER UNITY OF ODDFELLOWS, and DUNEDIN JUVENILE SPORTS COMMITTEE, will hold a FETE at the NORTH DUNEDIN RECREATION GROUND, ,oy TUESDAY, DECEMBER 26, 1871. N.B.—For list of GAMES and SPORTS, see Small Bills. F. PALMER, Hon. Sec. YAUXHALL GARDENS.—Open During the Holidays.—Great attractions for BOXING DAY !—Dancing in the Rotunda ! Richmond Fair ! Balloon, Fireworks, &c. Steamers will ply to and fro. Fare'Gel.'’ Children Free. CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS !—Would you be suprised to bear ? Strawberries and Cream, Oranges and Lemons, Red and Black Plums, Apples and Pe irs, may be obtained from Elliott’s Otago Fruit Store, Murray’s Buildings, llattray-street. N.B.—Orders promptly attended to. BOXING NIGHT, St. Georges Hall, full Ball programme, at half-past eight Sharp-