THE FUNNY SIDE OF THE SEAT OF GOVERNMENT DEBATE.

Evening Star, Volume IX, Issue 2735, 22 November 1871, Page 3

THE FUNNY SIDE OF THE SEAT OF GOVERNMENT DEBATE.

[From the. Lyttelton Times.) Seven out of twenty.eight “ Lords” voted against Mr Waterhouse’s motion, and consequently in favor of the dicision arrived at by the Lower House. One of these, the' Hon, Mr Holmes, was quite pathetic, almost poetical, certainly gushing in describing the objections he had to Wellington as a place to live in, and the superior attractions of Dunedin- The situation of Wellington, remarked Mr Holmes, rendered it highly undesirable as a place for persons to live in for three or four months in the year. If so, what is the condition of the unfortunates who are condemned to live there all the year round? No wonder that Ministers are glad to get away from the place where, Mr Holmes says, it is a sort of penance to live only three months out of the twelve. Wellington, he went on to say, is decidedly the most unhealthy town occupied by Europeans that he had ever lived in. This remark appears to have caused a laugh, whereupop Mr Holrqes appealed to the local burial grouud, “ where tnere were more graves of persons from t n to twenty-five years of age than be bad ever seen in any country.” Fancy Mr Holmes meditating among the tombs, and concocting a speech “ by the cold Hie Jacets of the dead.” The bare [idea is ludicrous enough, but the reality—that must have been something worth witnessing. It is too bad altogether to make use of the departed in this way, and we are surprised that' some hon. member —Dr Buchanan for instance—4id not enter a dignified protest on the ground of sacrilege. fiuji Mr Holrqes ba4 more statistics pf the same lugubrious character. An: other proof of Wellington’s extreme unhealthiness could, he observed, be obtained by “watching the people going to church on Sunday. There were more persons clothed in mourning than in any other community of the same extent he had ever seen.” This observation displays an acuteness and nicety of perception, and withal an intimate knowledge of drpss, fo which we qre at some loss to account. It must, how: ever, be very refreshing for the people of Wellington to know that “a chiel’s amang them takiu’ notes of this description, especially when to tl is knowledge is superadded the reflection th tt the said notes have been printed in the pages of Hansard, and are therefore on permanent record, We should not be a t unshed to hear that, when the session is over, and Mr Holmes has retired from the scene of his labors —from the burial ground and the place where the best view of the people going to church can be obtained —the denizens of Wellington had set up his effigy in the character of Old Mortality, with the inscription—“ Departed this city, death and mourning statistics and all, on ,to the inexpressible joy and unutterable relief of the inhabitants ” ■ut we have to thank Mr Holmes for one thing, and we can assure him that we feel extremely grateful. Hs }ias gjven Mr Majitell’s latest mot. Speaking of thecharacterof We lington water, which we are told is altogether beyond a joke, Mr Holmes said “ Where several of the members resided, the well and the water-closet were side by side, and from the fact of several houses being on lower ground than the cemetery”—still that cemetery with its sad and silent witnesses —“ bis honorable friend Mr Mantel! had wittily and truly described the wafer in that locality as having a body in it.” These, as Mr Holmes very t ulv observed, were facts that ought not to be lightly considered, but they are facts which, while they tell strongly against the local authorities and show that a p: oper water supply and efficient drainage are urgently required, do not establish the necessity for holding the session of the Assembly at Dunedin, or any other place than the seat of Government. It is, perhaps, unfortunate that Wellington should be the capital, seeing that it is not a very agreeable place to live in, but the wells and the waterclosets. the cemetery, and the water with a body in it will all be put right by-and-by; and if Mr Holmes would only give his mind to it he might discover some remedy for the high winds, the clouds of dust, the rapid changes of temperature, and even the earthquakes. He should move for a Royal Commission on the subject, or at least propose that, since the Government will insist on having the sessions at Wellington, every member of Assembly be supplied with a smelling bottle, a pocket pistol, and a portable filter. The “dem’d body,” as Mantalini would have called it, might be temporarily disposed of in that way, and Wellington, thought it can never hope to become such an earthly paradise as Dunedin -what place can ’.—would surely be tolerable for three or four months.