Page 2 Advertisements Column 2

Evening Star, Volume VIII, Issue 2283, 31 August 1870, Page 2

The perfection of wisdom and the end of true philosophy 'is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities. When unmarried ladies get votes, what will their rule he but Mi«s-i:ule ? Where there’s a" will' there’s a Way !” Cook: “ Plca=e,’M, 1 wishes to (live WarnW_”—(surprised) : Why, what’s the Matter?’— Cook : “The Fact is, Mum, I’m going to get Married !”-.Vis/ms: “Why, Cook. I did not Know you were Ene.v'ed I”-—Cook : “ Which I ham not exactly Engaged as yet, Mum ; hut I Fee’s myself of that ’A ppy Disposition as I could Love hauy Man, Mum ?” Where there’s a Bill.- Somebody told Mrs Malaprop the other day that the Lords had rejected the Deceased Wife’s Sister Bill. Her reply was that it did’nt surprise her—it was enough.to kill any wife to have a sister called Bill, and how could the hussy propose to all the Lords at once—especially as’it isn’t Leap Year. Legal Querry.—Should the limbs of the law be clothed iu breaches of promise ? When a drunkard is liable to loose big head, would it not be better tq fix it in q sling! A Fireside Ghost. - -A hob-goblin. An operatic Gentleman, in reduced cir, cumstances, says, with reference to red herrings, that the hardest roes he knows of must be the Rose of Oastille” (cast steel), Does a ship only wear barnacles when she goes to sea ? , Mrs Miffins says her daughter is worse than a misfortune—She’s a gal-amity It is curious, but the end of a wail is generally blubber. Why is an M.P. about to address the House, like a self-evident proposition?— Because he stands to reason. What is the difference between a raw recruit and a bumptious ensign !—The one wants well setting up, and the other well setting Mown. Why is the winner of a horse race like a compounding chemist after his* days work f —Because he’s come in from his gallop hot (gallipot). Why is the Derby never new? — Because it’s a tliree-year old affair.