POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXVI, Issue 57, 4 September 1943, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Once again the Allied forces are treading heavily on Italy's toe. * * * Husband (in Court): There are no gentlemen in our street. We are all , hard-working men. * * * In the World War I Britain tried to train seals to track down German submarines. # » ♦ The Russians continue knocking out German tanks, but wait until they land a left hook on the Fuhrer'schin with their sickle. . . < * # * Hitler: Oh da Churchill schwein— on der Reich he vos drop vun hundredt tousand tons of bombs. Goering: Ja, but don't forgets it, Adolf, they all broken to schmithereens. . « *- * OUT OF TOUCH. No American is neutral where Mrs. ' Roosevelt is concerned—except one. A social investigator, who questioned an old Tennessee mountaineer, about her, received the reply: "Never heard ofher!" ♦ PUTCH. When Chester Konka joined the U.S. Forces his dog Putch went on hunger strike. Konka made a gramophone record saying "Eat your dinner, Putch," and "Come on, old dog, swallow it down." . When the record is played Putch wags his tail and eats. * ' * ' . *" .: THE PANTHER. The panther is like a leopard, Except it hasn't been peppered; Should you behold a panther crouch, Prepare to say Ouch. Better yet, if called'by a panther, Don't anther. —OGDEN NASH. *** , . * QUITE POSSIBLE. ' Dear Flage,—l notice that our local theatres are screening, among others, two contemporary American films, qne of which exclaims with democratic gusto "Hi! Buddy!" while the other asks the grammatically simple ques- ~ tion, "Who Done It?" I feel very intrigued over the capabilities of the persons who write modern film titles, and I quite expect that our Wellington, theatres before very long will be exhibiting that very delightful British comedy-drama "Gor' Blimey!" also, no doubt, that successful British musical extravaganza, "Wotcher, Matey?" What SayyoU- F.H.E.C. . * * * SWEDEN. The Swedes are likeable people, honest, hospitable, serious-minded, with a strong' leaning towards athletics. Throughout the country cleanliness is very close to godliness—so writes W. E. Johns. The churches are ' often very beautiful. Many of the Swedes speak English. The country has done much for European culture. From here came Linnaeus, who named all things in Nature, Swedenborg, the" philosopher, and Sven Hedin, the explorer. Taking it all round, Sweden might well be the country to which the Nazi chiefs and their friends will attempt' to retire when the time comes for their departure from the stage they have held too long. ! * «• * INFORMATION. In reply to a question asked b> "Boulder Dam": Mussolini was repeatedly attacked by gangsters. In 1925 a General Zanziboni was convicted of setting up a rifle in a window from which he could fire on the Duce when he (Mussolini) appeared on his balcony to address a crowd. In 1926 an Irish woman fired a pistol at Mussolini during a ceremony in Rome, the bullet scratching his nose. A shot was fired at him from a crowd of cheering Blackshirts as they pressed around his open car' in Bologna. An anarchist once threw a bomb against Mussolini's car. There were other abortive attempts, not always reported, -against his life. * * w SEE? . . (From the British law on Excess Profits Tax.) In this subsection references to the rate -applicable under the said section twenty r seven shall be construed as references to' the rate per cent, per annum which apart from the provisions of this subsection would be applicable under the proviso to subsection 2 of that section to the average amount of the borrowed money employed in the trade or business in the standard » period, and the reference to the limits under subsections 2, 3, and 5 of that section shall be construed as a reference to the* amounts fixed by the proviso to the said subsection 2, by the proviso to the said subsectiqn 3 and by the said subsection 5, as the maximum amounts which in the cases to which those provisions respectively apply may, by virtue of that section, be treated in ascertaining the standard .' profits for a full year as being the profits of the standard period. * * *■-■■■ INTIMATION. A.D.B.—That preudo-prophecy appeared in Col. 8 months ago. Sh'ghai.—We'll make II Duce say: "I am monarch of all I betray." j T.M.—Your verse title, "Winter! Begone!" reminds us of Begonia. E.C.A.—Naughty pretty maid to say: "I'm going to put some arsenic in Tojo's marmalade!" Shockin'! Democratic.—You may be right, but the other party also has something to say. ■ Whoozit ("From the Lowest to the Highest").—Politically sound, but too lengthy. So Interested.—Clever, but certain people would not be impressed. H.C.L. —Considering. Tickles our fancy. J.J,J. —We haven't the time to discuss politics with you. Our garden continues to call to us. J.—Your question will have to wait its turn. » * * . AOTEA-ROA: Three emerald isles of beauty set In the path of the southerly sea, Urging the currents that round them fret i To a surging melody, strong and freeWhere the restless, roaming wind goes by, And shrill answering harmony brings Aeolian, from a singing sky, Up-caught from forest and mountain strings. Where the hills sweep down to fertile plains ' In rolling surges of varied green, Bellbirds mingle their tintillant strains In a sylvan songsters' choir unseen. And rain and sunshine succeeding fall, Stirring and quick'ning the ready earth, That promptly answers the vibrant call Seasonal, and to fresh life gives birth. A land well-meet for the sons of men To build upon for their goodly seed,, A heritage fair, where none need ken Either poverty, fear, or greed. In womanhood gentle, manhood strong, Will rise a race in achievement proud, And sing them "to others, Freedom's song, Of our lovely land, the Long White Cloud. ' —W. B. TOCKER. * * «• JAP DISCIPLINE. While commanding a Press boat officially attached to the Japanese navy in the summer of 1904, opportunity was presented to talk with many men and officers of the Japanese navy. On February 8 Admiral Togo, commanding the Japanese fleet, sent out two sister destroyers in a snowstorm and blizzard to make a reconnaissance of Port j Arthur. One of them returned in fourhours and reported that it was impossible for a ship of its size to live in the heavy seas. The other returned at dawn with the information. At 10 a.m. the aide of Admiral Togo called on the commander who had returned prematurely, presented the compliments of his chief/ and. with all courtesy informed him that he would be permitted to commit hara-kiri beforenoon. It was all very polite. The commander, in full dress, was rowed to an island, where he killed himself; ' " , . Contributor: Stan. Washburn. ,