POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXI, Issue 119, 22 May 1941, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Bulldogmatic,

P.E.C.—There -is " something fishy about Vichy. « .«■ «• No, Melisande: Your table is probably of mahogany—not monogamy. * * * Did you hear the speaker last-even-ing who looked forward to having the "corporation" of the people? * » * Even so, we hope the War Office is not relying too much on those bloodr" thirsty Home Guards of Crete for vie- '" tory. i- * ■ * • g EDUCATION. ,c A speaker at a meeting of a Western ;: Australian school board said: "Bache- ;- lors and politicians are not competent i- to serve on school committees unless \\ they are parents." i- # # # "SECRET" WEAPON. c Germany claims to have a "secret" ' c weapon in the form of a silent invisible t_ bomber which has in it the "seeds of defeat for Britain." It is an improved 0 version of the Junkers JuBB. and it r' is said that its two 1140 h.p. engines can run "with absolute silence." The n alleged "invisibility" is achieved by % using a transparent plastic material for the fuselage and wings. c ' ♦ * * c 3. "HESS." The Press! The Press! r . Is full of. Hess, r. The radio's the same; c Both far and near {. It's all we hear, c Is this Hess fellow's name, n' The reason as to how or why [- He dropped his Nazi reins y Will not be solved by you or I, is Although we rack our brains. r. But I'll • add my thocht tae the lave a (An' jist lat's wite an' see), c "He wis langin' for some porritch >f An' a wee drap in his tea." y A.W.M. r Newtown. x « # • ■ '• - (j GENERAL "WAWEL." [\ A Polish friend just returned from x . the Near East tells of the great popu--0 larity which Sir Archibald Wavell c enjoys among the Polish soldiers under ;t his command. They call him "Wawel," s pronounced "Vahvel." which is supposed to correspond to his name, and ~ which in fact is the historic name of c the Royal Castle in Cracow, crowning s the burial place of the Polish kings. , s Poles think this name fits him very s well. They regard it as symbolical as s Wawel Castle, which' is one of the y grandest Renaissance buildings in Cens tral Europe, is the symbol of Poland's _ greatness and hope of/ renascence, i*# ; » INFORMATION DEPT. In reply to O'Connor (Napier): Here * are the only Balkan drive figures we r can offer you; they come from a ree liable American daily. Hitler struck t at four places with variously estimated " forces. From Austria 200,000 meche anised troops drove towards Zareb. B From Hungary went two motorised * divisions and an infantry division. * Eleven divisions rolled westward from Bulgaria and eleven more attacked f down the Struma River Valley. Operai tions of the Fourth German Air Fleet t at Sofia and the sixth at Bucharest, 3 each comprising 1700 planes (1000 1 fighters, 625 bombers, and 75 observers) ? were directed by the Austrian General Alexander Loehr. Thanks for your note of appreciation, i # « * QUEER CLUBS. Several weeks ago we told our postscript world of a Society for the Pre- _, servation and Encouragement of Bar- * ber Shop Quartet Singing in America. ] The other evening a friend interested '> in Col. 8 passed on to us a nice list ; of American clubs of queer trades. ' Here is one in particular, which may , act as a diversion from the war news. ; It is called the Spanked Wives' Club. . It is the latest of a long line of un- , usual clubs recently formed in Sioux [ City,' South Dakota. The new organi- [ sation's aims, as set forth by the club's t leader, are based on a happier home > life. "Our club," says Mrs. Lora Lane, ' "is made up of wives who got spanked by their husbands. Our husbands > don't beat us; they just turn us over ' their knees and give us a good sound t spanking. Spanking makes home life > happy' and it saves lots of homes from i divorces." t * ■ # * ■ i MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. ' What shall I sing for you today, ! With heats-'n'-drinks in fine a ray? ' Did I say sing? Well, that'll do. Seem' it's only me-'n'-you. ! What shall I say then, 'ip-'n'-thigh, ; Or thissen that? Heggs still is 'igh, I But does that matter? Not with us— 1 We goes without, 'em, minus fuss. \ But I do say, dear, that this tea ; Are not real fit for you-'n'-me, 1 Who, as you know at least 'aye taste, \ An' always 'aye been fair-'n'-chased; I do not mean like one persood— That would 'uv course be cheap-'n'-rood. Oh, by the way, my Greta's child, For three years 'appy-'n'-defiled, Is down with measles . . 'ere I stand An' say they are uv German brand. That is a blow, that Nastie blood Should 'ang about our labour-ood. Where are the p'lice? Where the P.M.? Is they all jest sheer brummelgem? Who keeps the drainpipe in the street As sweet as any . can be sweet? Any'ow, dear, that German blotch I 'ope one of these days to Scotch.. (Or is it Irish?) Anyway We're workin' to the shortes' day. « * # "BOMB BUS." In battered London heroes of the bomb disposal squads trundle off in j open trucks unexploded delayed-action i bombs. New York's Mayor, La Guardia, ihas tried out a safer (so they say) I solution. His contraption looks like a ! huge oven on wheels. It was rumbled down to a dreary beach one morning before dawn, with a retinue of city officials, dynamite and steel experts, and officers of the army, navy, and coast guard. At a signal from La Guardia firemen brought the "bus" forward. The officials inspected its fat stainless steel sides, its seven-inch-thick lining of dynamite matting. One by one bombs of increasing explosive power were locked in and detonated. Seagulls started up in fright and wheeled overhead. Finally a last great bomb with a base of 12 sticks of dynamite was set off with a tremendous roar. Glasses trembled on a tavern bar two miles away. And a mile and a half away a shutter was blown from its hinges. When the dust, settled, the "bomb bus" shape was slightly distorted, but it was intact. His Worship beamed happily, and accepted congratulations from his audience. His machine, he announced, would be used to cart away time-.bombs. unexploded mines, saboteurs' infernal machines, and the like. __■_. -oped to have one,in each borough of the city. In the meantime the experimental model was taken to a secret place with strict orders that no one should be permitted to see or photograph it.