POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume c, Issue 82, 3 October 1940, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Most surrealist verse: Tripe—without onions. * * . . . Caught in an air raid, the ineffable Goebbels dived into a shelter. Bad | luck, R.A.F. I «• «• » Mr. Coates warns us not to live beyond our incomes, but within them. But suppose we are without them? •>:- '.* # Dazzle Note: Sitting behind a very white hat with two annoying tail feathers in a cinema on Saturday evening' . ' .- B-B, Island Bay. » * * Please ask Mark Twain and Mr. Gnash, the Undertaker, for their comments on the following telegram just received:—"Your agents having been sentenced to complete extinction express preference for artificial flowers for final obsequies." KICKBUCKETSOON. * * * NOMENCLATURE. Replying to X's par in this evening* Col. 8: For the name of the three-year-old. I submit Theodolite. It is the natural correlation of Surveyor and Wild, Country. Never is surveyor' minus his theodolite. . Note, too, how beautifully the name rolls off the tongue! Resounding shouts of "The-od-01-ite!" would urge the three-year-old to victory! So, would you please pass this name on to the parties interested for their consideration. . Many thanks. Yours truly, a K. JOHNSON. * * ♦ COMING HOME. Probably you have come across in library books instances where th« clever reader holds the poor author up to ridicule. Beguiling a recent rail journey, on page 210 of a bit of light literature, speaking of the 'ero, the following was underlined: "his 74 inches of debonair immaculacy" with the annotation "see page 12—how these boys do grow." Returned with morbid curiosity as directed and found "the 72 inches of slimly muscular strength that separated his crisp black hair from the soles of his polished shoes." The foregoing may not measure up to a couple of inches of Column 8. Still, as there has not been one for some time, you may add simile:—As;. punctual as a race train. -. K. -x- - * * CALL FOR GEMINI. Dear Sir,—As an "Oxfordshire exile,'* I was very pleased to read your recent reference to Addlestrop and Thomas's beautiful verses. I remember just such an afternoon at Addlestrop station on a long journey from Chipping Norton to Manchester. Perhaps Gemini knows also Addiestrop Hill and its prettylittle summer house so convenient for picnics and blackberrying expeditions. Chastleton Common and the fine old, ■ Manor House were just handy, andCornwall, too. It is very pleasing to hear of anyon* who remembers the old unchanging places, and I hope at some future timoi Gemini will tell us more of her memories of the delightful neighbourhood which I know, so well.—Your* truly, B. E. BLISS. Kelburn. Others of our readers' from Horn* have expressed their appreciation "of the colour and feeling to be found ia Gemini's notes of the outdoor. * » « MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE, Well, 'ere's October ... don't time flyl I watch the days-'n'-nights go by, Between what work I 'aye to do, Jest wond'rih''ow long me-'n'.you Will stick our life out at the pac* What 'as been set us in the race For vict'ry an* the right to liveNot as a feckless fudgitive Or one who 3as no place to go, But in that Noo World which, you know, Churchill an' Rosyvelt are to build When Nasties all are dead-'n'-killed, An' Demmercrats— you've 'card UT them?— Set up a Noo Jeruzzlehem. We won't 'aye angels in that day To sing-'n'-dance around an' play. But so far as I hunderstand 'Twill be a green-'n'-pleasant land. My butcher boy 'as Jad the call. It didden cheer 'im up a tall, _ Though 'c's a sawn-orf Tarzan gmt Who's thirst don't stop with jest otm pint, An' those great beafy 'ands uv e# Is quite the sorter '«ns to teate Even our "Lofty," who is tough, An', if I dare to say it, rough. My butcher with the flatt'nin' fist Said 'ed-been waitin' £ »l»t _ - Becos 'c once dreamed isieepia •E'd S<frawn 'imself a thousand pound Outer the barrel, and woud stey Until miss Fortune came c s way,. What is a morgue? My 'ouse as one, I 104 to S the air-forts drummrn'. * * • THE HERR DOKTOR'S DREAM. over the eight" (in magnums). *£ now lay in his sumptuous bed, ta» meagre little body tossed and twitch "s£■£s££?s* *»?»" was red hot, as were the rest of the r»rround£gs The atmosphere was unpSantly warm and there was w all-pervading smell of su lpbur. The Prosecuting Attorney rose and addressed the fiends who composed the jury. It appeared that Herr Doktor had committed one of the major crime's, for, on arrival in Gehenna, while being interviewed by a reporter from "The "Devil's Own," and being asked as to who had been the greatest prevaricator of the truth on earth prior to his departure, he had proudly answered: Numerous witnesses substantiated the charge. He was not represented by counsel; nothing he might saycould avail him, and he knew he was "for it." The Judge, having summed up, the jury without retiring brought in a verdict of guilty, which was greeted with a roar of approval from the large concourse, in which the Judge, counsel, and police joined. The Judge was about to pass sentence when Doktor Goebbels awoke, mor» than ever determined, despite a sore head, to live up to his world-wid» reputation. M. SIRROH. ,