POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXV, Issue 87, 13 April 1938, Page 12

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Are we in for a sou-Easter WeekT • • • F.W. —There's nothing in the papers about concentration camps in the Far East for prisoners .of war. Don't they " take prisoners? Or don't they? » «■ * "New Zealanders are becoming more air-minded." says "Ike Macadam," "but what my chief, Joe Savage, would like to see is that more of them shouli be fair-minded." # ' «■ # "Jeremiah o,'Crookery."—There is one thing about it, when the lawyers are brought under a compulsory Government legal scheme they will be abla ,to get even by giving plenty of free wrong advice. * * # "Nicolai": Talking about our "pond," which easily accommodated the ■ Em« press of Britain at almost ebb tide, did you notice the pictures (in the "Weekly News") of the dredging preparations' in-^uckland Harbour prior to her berthage there? » » * "~*~ CLEVER CHAP,: FECIT! Our erudite advertisement writers: (culled from a contemporary):— "A magnificent example of Ceramic , Art" (which is the democratic way of talking about common or garden pottery), "produced at the Victoria China Works, in Bohemia, and representing the creative genius of Fecit Ed Schickl, one of the foremost Ceramic artists in Europe. There are only two of these vases in existence." Messrs Pinxit and Scripsit will have to look to their .laurels. HENRY. * * . « FORT GORDON. "Wood Time Fuze" writes: Your correspondent, A. L. Dixon, is wrong in his statement re above. Fort Gordon was situated on a hill that overlooks Scorching Bay from the north end, and had an 8-inch B.L. gun. The name of the fort above Kaiwarra was Fort Buckley. This fort was dismantled over 30 years ago. The information your correspondent gives re the Kaiwarra guns is correct. T.W.8., ex-D.N.Z,A., also corrects the original statement. He adds: "I re-; member the.late Billy Chernside (Wellington Navals), who served in S.A. War with the New Zealand Contingent. He was a petty officer and an outstanding gunlayer. During one annual shoot the detachment put up a record with the 8-inch gun, Billy being the gunlayer. In the Great War Billy obtained a commission in one of the artillery drafts and met his death at Passchen- ' daele." • We are obliged to both our correspondents for their information. OH, HELL! I met the Devil the other day, And he said to me in his whimsical way, He said, "How sweet is a maniac's yellj And things are as quiet as the Devil in, Hell. "For the boarders and lodgers they send me now, They simply won't stand for my devil- ■ ish row, They say that the din of mortal strife Is enough to last a man all his life. "They sit and read and they s it and think In a quietness from which mad mortals would shrink, They have banished the automatic drill And the wireless is black as a hotel grill. ■-■■. "So'; early this morning, with malice deep, I and the rubbish men banished sleep, And then a milkman came along, So we banged down tins with a ribald song. "They tell me that, this is election year, Peace on earth,- the millennium here; The political merchant who does me well, . I'll give him anything—give him Hell. ■ With a whiz'and a roar and a wind and a wail, A taxi shot over the Devil's tail. The Devil sprang back from this traffic* And caught his horns in the back of a tram. "Ye- gods!" quoth The Dev., "little! > fishes, as well!" And vanished forthwith in a sulphurous smell— These modern developments make him wince, , ' And he hasn't been seen in the city, SinCe- LEO. •« ' • WHAT'S A MONGER? The question "What is an ironmonger" is asked and answered by a topical commentator in-one of '"Orace's" interesting trade journals. The obvious answer that comes to mind (says the writer) is "One.who buys and sells wares of iron, but when you stop and think it out there are things connected with mongering that'one does not buy or sell. We. know in what commodities the cheesemonger and the fishmonger deal, and probably a few could explain in buying and selling terms what is meant by such words as feltmonger and fellmonger. But what about the scandalmonger and the balladmonger? The fact is that the word has a much wider meaning than just dealing in the trading sense of the term. A monger from the 16th century was regarded as a! "trafficker" and quite often "monger was applied to anyone who carried on "a petty or disreputable traffic.' According to an American dictionary, English literature comprises referencesto no fewer than seventy-two mongers and "every monger is a mongers brother." If that be true, the ironmonger and the scandalmonger are kin and there is not much to choose between the costermonger and the "nice punctilio-monger"' of whom an 18th century critic wrote. A 19tli century reviewer said that.Rider Haggard was "an incorrigible heromonger." But there is more to it than that! When it comes to trade and industry what decides the name or style of a man with a definite calling? Why is one who sells men's garments a clothier while the, shop across the way has on its fascia "Chemist and Druggist"? The. man who writes the prescription which the chemist makes up is not a physicist—he is a physician. Put a-boy into an engineer's workshop and if he is worth his salt he becomes a mechanic unless, given a soldering iron and a pair of snips, he becomes a tinman. Should he decide to drop the snips in favour of a scraper and a square of fustian he is a plumber looking for a mate. If ''mechanic" is descriptive why not "tinic" and "plumbic"? In short, there is no consistency in this matter, nor, indeed, in any corner of this world of English, words! Do you know the story of the lady novelist who remarked ir. trie presence of Kipling: "There are only two words in our language beginning with 'su' that are pronounced with an ailch between the two letters —sugar and sumach." Quick as thought came the question from the Wizard <;< Words: "Are you sure?"