POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXV, Issue 38, 15 February 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Talking of tariffs: the farmer is all for free trade —for himself. * ♦ ♦ To Mr. Clouston: If at first you don't succeed, fly; fly again. * * • It'a one thing persuading Hitler and Mussolini to sign a peace pact, but quite another to get them to keep it. * • « A friend of a friend of ours simply can't make Japan out: She pays the , I highest rates for scrap iron, and then gives it to the Chinese for nothing. • • • One of our legal luminaries assures us that people living within five miles of the Paekakariki cemetery are not allowed to be buried there. Can anyone tell us why? » » » WEARING. It is suggested that the City Council make strenuous efforts to locate the "Don't Buy Japanese Goods" artist with a view to acquiring his stock c£ paint—which wears so much better than that used on pedestrian crossings. OBSERVER. • * • INQUIRY AND REPLY. Heard this from two very small boys at Oriental Bay: "Where are yer goin'?" "Fer a swim." "Thought yer'd bin." "So I 'ay', and I'm goin' to bin again." ERIN-GO-BRAGH. • » ♦ ♦ DOMESTIC ECONOMY. Said Stiggins to his wife one day: "We've nothing left to eat; If things go on in this queer way We shan't make both ends meet." The dame. replied, in words discreet "We're not so badly led If we can make but one end meat, And make the other bread." SAKE. ♦ ♦ ♦ INFORMATION BUREAU. In reply to "Moses El Rab."—The cause of the trouble seems to be this: The Arabs were promised, their independence for their aid in fighting the Turks in the Great War. Jerusalem to them is second only to Mecca as a holy place. The Jews were assured of their "Promised Land" in return for their whole-souled support of the Allies when support was badly needed. Under the partition scheme the Jewish area has been reduced, but contains all but 1500 of the Jews in Palestine. But it also contains 225,000 Arabs. The Arabs complain that all they get is desert land unsuited for cultivation. The Jews complain that the territory left is too small for their needs. Both. Arabs and Jews complain because the holy places are to remain under British Mandate. * * * ■ TIT FOR TAT. Railwaymen will no doubt have heard this one, but as there are lots of people who are not railwaymen, here goes:—• J. T. Harahan, president of the lllinois Central, some years ago was sitting in his office when a burly fellow entered without knocking. "Me name's Casey," he bellowed. "I want a pass to St. Louis. I wur-rk in the yards." Harahan objected: "That's no way to ask for a pass; you should introduce •yourself politely. Come back in an hour and try agajn." At the end of an hour the caller returned. Doffing his.hat, he inquired: "Are yez Mr. Harahan?" "I am." "Me name's Patrick Casey. I've been wur-rkin' in the yards." "Glad to know you, Mr. Casey. What can I do for you?" . "Yez can go to hell. I've got a jobon the Missouri Pacific." « ♦ • BEGONIA HOUSE. Oh, come to the house that the fairies ' have taken, The house on the side of the hill: In the dullest of mortals the thought will awaken, That by real'living fairies their hand has been shaken, For the fairies are keeping house still. We prosaic mortals have no homes for owning, We find there is nowhere to live; And we go about sighing and grtmUv ling and groaning; 'But the fairies don't listen to murmurs and moaning, ' As their smiling warm welcome they; give. Oh, Begonia House is the name of theitl 'castle. In a garden of gardens it lies; Perhaps ere you enter 1 a Denes remind you, . Begonias are bright, they're so bright they half blind you; And yet you may leave your old glasses behind you— No harm will be done to your eyes. Oh, do you ljke crimson, and bright 'golden yellow, And the colour that apricots flush Or do you like blossoms like snowdrifts for whiteness? Or the soft freckled mixtures laid on with the lightness Of the great fairy artist's own brush? When you're dazzled with pleasure and weary with gladness, When your language no more win enlarge, .. See, in yonder sweet nook the Gloxinias greet you, In their royal-blue velvets all smiling to meet you; ' To the view of their glorious splendour they'll treat you— _ _ _ In the house where the fairies take charge. A* ♦ • • NEWS ODDITIES. Mrs Rosetta McGill has earned the distinction of being the youngest mother of triplets in London. She is 21. Her husband, a labourer, was 23 on the day they were born. The McGills, who live in Thome Road, Lambeth, have a son aged two and a half. Rosetta's mother-in-law,, at 44, has ten children, the youngest aged three. The triplets are Michael, weighing sJlb, Jean 41b 15oz, and Anthony 31b 12Joz. Mrs. McGill, senior, said: "For one moment my son didn't believe the news. Then he cried. What worried them so much at first was the fact that William's job comes to an end next week." "I hope Rosetta doesn't plan a surprise like this every year," said Mr. McGill. "Please remember the declining birth-rate, and think of my efforts in that direction," wrote a man summoned at Kingston (England) for his wife's maintenance in the maternity ward of a county hospital. Detroit police conducted a test of two cars over a 12-mile course through the city. One driver was told to take many chances and in general to drive as fast as possible, to save secondseven if it meant driving recklessly. The other was to drive sensibly. Tht "crazy" driver saved exactly 3 mia». utes—or_l«rsecon^p<ervmil«.