POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Issue 30, 4 August 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Percit Flags. (

Some of the paintings in the National Gallery deserved to be hung—and quartered. No monkey glands for us!. Let us have those of the chimpanzee, so-that we may live to be the modern Methuselah.' ■ft it- 5 A somewhat notorious Birmingham lass says that she will marry anyone who will pay her bills. Surely this isn't news. .*■ ■■-•.■■■» <r The invasion of Dunedin by ,th» Southland Scots on Saturday may have been partly due to the Ranfurly Shield match and partly due to the charity day that was being held in Southland.' • . • ■ <» The Bishop of London: ■ "We are all longing for peace, and in the next 1000 years war ought to be as dead as duelling and slavery are today." D» cheer up, your Lordship. ' - ' • » » HEARD THIS ONE? Abe was a novice. ( His friend, Solly, was, taking him for his first round. Abe found his ball in a cuppy lia outside the green. "Solly," he called out. "Vbt club do I take for this shot?"" - | Solly looked across. "Use .the seven-and-sixpenny one," he advised. ' • • * • HEIL SCHUCHELGRUBERL ,_ . He may have been Adolf Schuchelgruber to his mother, but to you his name is Hitler. And he is of French origin. Such is the declaration of the Pai-is newspaper, "Volonte," after "much. patient research" into the Fuhrer's history. Archives of Strasbourg Town Hall, dating back to the French Revolution, show that there was a large Hitler family in Alsace. One of them, Adolf Hitler; born in 1784, ."loved children and had a great many." Among them, says the newspaper (quoted by the 8.U.P.), was an illegitimate _ child, Alois Schuckelgruber, whose mother, Maria Schuckel* gruber, was a peasant girl. This lovechild, it is asserted, was, the fattier of the present Chancellor. Alois was born at Gunsett, Alsace, which is now the French department of Bas Rhin. P.S.—You needn't believe ."Volonte* unless you want to. - .-- ---• «• * ' BRAIN-TEASER. " - "Punka's" test has proved. not sa simple as it looks; so far, of a dozen or so entries received only-three are correct ' according to thei official net audited solution. Of half a dozen answers by telephone only one, "Just Me," was correct. And only three out of thirteen which arrived by mail hit the "bull." It took us 9min 47sec (GreenwicK time) to solve the mystery of,who sat with whom. The honours list to date is: "Ping-Pong" (who sends best wishes to Column 8), "Epee" and W.N.P.H. (Palmerston North), who '.'found the problem far easier than the one last ' week"). Thosa who have missed with' the first barrel (we name no names* have time for another shot before we go on the air with the answer. (If we have mixed, our metaphors in this note put- it down -to the fact that the approach of the Budget has us .a'(trifle oft poise:) '' ' ■ '' .

■ !-■. .tJf ,:.BE UP! ', , t .. ,_^,r,._ t , > That exclamatory title -refers to bowls, of course—indoor or on tha green. Various departments' of ■ this paper are interested in. the gamehence this note; Thomas Carey, •» .Cumberland Magistrate,,who died last month, played bowls until he was 1 102. That looks like a record, and the late cehtenarian (or ought it to be "centennialist"?) deserves to skipper a hot.'rink on the close-clipt .lawns' of asphodel. 'So far we have not taken to bowls, in spite of the-example set by colleagues and the fact that Pepys. John Evelyn, and Drake, even, rolled, 'em up. It is a recommendation to bowls ( too, that it was one of the games which even the dour Puritans* those fellows with sharp, thin lips and ' accusing, steely eyes, permitted to be played on Sundays'. . When John Knox visited Geneva on that day he1 found Calvin engaged in a match, and it is on record that a sixteenth century Bishop of London not only played on a Sab» bath afternoon, but "used such lan* guage as justly exposed his character to reproach." We live in the hope of one day hearing a real bishop rattle out a few he-mannish cuss words when he slices his drive into the tiger .country: " , - . * * * , PURIEI IN BLOOM: BOTANICAL GARDENS. , "' (The inscription states that this tree was planted by J. H. Luke,-on Arbor • Day, 1915.) . .' Ye who at beauty's stainless shrine - i Your souls in secret bow,.' ,-■ Who Nature's teaching hold Divine* .. ■ Go to the Gardens now.' While Winter's frown not yet has'died) Nor gone his rainy gloom, | Behold, superb in native pride. ' . Puriri is in bloom! • ~-,,.' A thousand fairy bells, whose fring%, - Like filaments of fire, , <• ■ Excels the radiant ruby's tinge. Glow to the heart's desire. The splendid foliage is spread. ■ J ' - AH vigorous and whole, ' While stands firm on its grassy bed The straight and perfect bole. ■ The citizen of foresight keen. Who set this noble tree, , ,- Instead of idle "might have been*. Has left this sight to see. • \ * *♦ ' * FINDINGS NOT KEEPINGS. ' When you find what somebody else has lost it may save trouble if you deposit the property at the nearest police station.' So counsels a local-. Magistrate. Apropos the case that is referred to, "Lex" sends a clipping which explains how the English law apply- . ing to lost and found goods arose. Once upon a time a swipep -found a jewelled pendant; and that is why we say possession is nine points 01. the law. John Armory was a sweep in the reign of George.l—one of those wretched lads ' who were made; to climb up thc v- chimneys of the big houses of the time. One day when he was walking' along he saw something shining in ' the gutter. He - picked it up and took 'it to Delamirie's the jewellers. He handed it over the counter to the jeweller, who passed it to his apprentice. While the jeweller kept • the boy' in conversation the appren- " - tice removed the stones from the pendant, and then called out to his/master that it came to1 three-halfpence. The sweep, who was no fool, asked for it back, and the jeweller refused to give it him. So the matter came into court; and it was decided that the jeweller must pay damages for not giving it up, even though it did not belong to the sweep. In England, no one but the owner can take the found property away from you. The police ~ cannot make you hand it'over to them, . though in the case of valuable objects it is wiser to do so. In strict law, at any time within six yearsthe rightful owner can claim his property from you, and if you no longer have it he can demand the value of it - ' " -