POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Issue 29, 3 August 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Percti Flack.

"Fag."—No, it was not a meeting of the Caledonian Society in the various hairdressing saloons on Friday last. * "* . # The trouble with a lot of drivers is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a pedestrian. •■*' . • ' Suggested by "The Knave": Mr. Nash may be voiceless, but it's on the cards that a lot of his victims will be speechless tomorrow when the Budget comes down. « «■ -5 The fact that two suburban councillors got together to fight things out is evidence that they take their executive responsibilities more seriously than most of their fellows. # « * FUN IN THE NEWS. From a New York daily:— Q.: How many stenographers and typists are in the United States? A.: A rough estimate of their growth is about one foot in diameter in 100 years. These generally grow more slowly as their age increases. That's not the point. « *■■....» MY WORD! Dear Flage,—Heard over the air this I morning: during the breakfast session: "I'm such a silly when the moon comes out." That is nothing to^ what one Weilingtonian will be like when the sun comes out. Yours in haste, J. OAKS. «. ■» ■■» INQUIRY DEPARTMENT. "Eve."—"Nosey Parker" is said *» have been the sobriquet of Mattafcw. Parker, Queen Elizabeth's first Arcbbishop of Canterbury. He lived Ms lit* • prying into other people's affairs, and this led to his being - referred' tor an "Nosey." ; .■'.■..: "Ex-Yank."—Kidnapping was as veal a danger in England a century ago M it is in America today. Adam Smith was abducted, by gipsies, the Dowager Lady Monson was as a child svoiert by a member of a circus troupe ovac 90 years ago, and an ancestor of Si* Edward Malet, a British Ambassador in Berlin, was cai'ried off when young, and became a sweep's boy in Nen> , Orleans. . E.L.S. (Miramar).—(l) Not for th« ! present. (2) Cannot express Mi opinion without seeing the matte?. , "cockneY carol. ; (August 3 is Bank Holiday in England.)) This is one of a series of verses published over 30 years ago in the London "Referee" to celebrate Bank Holiday. It is sent us by F.W., who thinks it might be interesting to the older generation of exiles out here. We think so, too. / I'm lightin' a fire at one hay hem, and the kids jest put to bed, ,-.;.,. For a cup o' tea is the on'y think as 'ill ease my achin' 'cad. I've carried the baby all day long till ' its weight it weighed me down. Away-from 'ome to the Brighton Beach and back agin to Town. : , And 'Arriet's shoe it rubbed 'er 'eel. and Johnnie 'c cut 'is knee, So Lubbick the Saint, what made the • J-day, ain't been no saint to , me. . Bill in a beastly temper, too, and ■ haggin' me'all the day; ' . ' ' Jim off 'is feet thro' paddlin* out and nearly washed away, ; . An' when we went to a public-'ouse to get 'is garments dried, : ■ . 'E 'ad to be left by the Childring's Act -wrapped in a shawl outside; ;u And I found as somebody'd pinched my purse when we went to get some ;;: tea, - ■". - ■/: ... v- .v:;'-;':> -.■.•' ■ So Lubbick the, Saint, what made th» .day, ain't been no saint to me;Trampin' around in the rain and mud, wet to the blessed skin, .. Me boots cut thro' on the pebbly beach. and lettin'-the water in; -;■;,'. The feather I bought for my Sunday, 'at a wreck as dripped its dye, . An* some of it streaked the baby's face;and a drop went in its eye,: An' I 'ad to bathe it for arf ah-hour . afore the kid could see, •■ [ ). So Lubbick the Saint, what made th» ■ day, ain't been no saint to me. Now.i Bill, he's in bed a-snorm' loud-*' he swore 'isself to sleep— A'cussin' the fate of a workin* man 'with a wife and six to keep. i An' Jim, 'c's got the shivers and shakes, arid Johnnie 'is knee's swelled up; And losin' my purse, since the arternoon we ain't 'ad bite or sup, Which means as the pawn shop straight away my Toosday's job will be. So Lubbick the Saint, what made tha day, ain't been no saint to me. "HOWITZER" BROADCAST. On their own mud heap Wellington out-mudded their rivals on Saturday. The H.B. steamrollers carried the worthwhile' Rolls, but old man southerly took all the steam out of the works, whilst Wellington were noticed many tunes putting the screw on the Bay machine. Many of the Black and White supporters arrived on one of the worst days and stuck to the coloure in order, no doubt, to catch the spirit of the occasion. : , : : ■ Jack Lamason is in the Major-Gen-eral class. This, after announcing his retirement at • the end- of last season. Still all "stars" are entitled to at least 21 farewells. - By the way—a hand for Jack on landing the treble: captains 0.8., .led the Wellington representative fifteen,, and skippered the province's eleven. A New Zealand record? If not, readers might let us know of any better. .Tori Reid must have missed his travelling guitar; he didn't appear able to get his van into tune at all. Tori held the skidding record for some fifteen minutes. Then Fraser-Smith out- . ■ skidded him by a couple of feet, only to find a Bay stalwart recapture the honour. Hard to tell whether it was Tori or Mata Hari—as the crowd, persistently called Hawea Mataira. Pollock was the mudder of the day. Big Devine liked the going. He reminded one of old Bagdad. Of course, that old chestnut never had to face the Park slush, but did he plough through the Trentham ooze! Hardly fair to use the racing term, "H.B. couldn't handle the going," for they handled more of it than they appreciated. They failed to foot it with the local mudlarks. Sadler was forced to take his pride in both hands and bite the dust—pardon, the mud—omen so far as the N.I. team was concerned? Lambourn and Dalton stood side by side. Both had a dirty look in both eyes. After one set scrum, when the vanguard had passed on, they left the two hookers locked in. each other's arms. . • , . : The track was so holding that most of the players couldn't raise a gasp at the finish, let alone a gallop. The game (and the conditions) were not nearly strenuous enough to have Jack Wells flat out at the finish. Southland taking pipers to Duneditt seems like carting coal to Newcastle. To be perfectly frank? dhc referee was very dirty from start to finish.