POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXII, Issue 27, 31 July 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Pehcy Flags.

"Delirious Dan"' protests against the exclusion of Mrs. McClancy from the list of outstanding women. "Is the game fair?" he asks. * -a- • Much of the world's trouble if caused by the growing tendency io try to right a wrong by swinging to the Left. » o « (< There is room and to spare for th« "Scarlet Runners" in this country. The railway treasury is notoriously sbcrt of "beans." * * .«*. "Daily Mail's" cricket writer: "Somewhere and somehow we must find more hostile bowling for Australia." What's wrong with letting Australia find her own hostile bowling? •X- £■ «■ Fun in the ads.— WANTED—A CLEANER SALESMAN. Rather rough on the last salesman, don't you think? HORIRI. • • ♦ SANDWICHES. Flage,—When is a sandwich not a sandwich? This has nothing to do with the old one about why will you never starve in the desert,-but is a genuine query. The answer is, when it is a Wellington one. The fact is, in ,Wellington one gets only half a sandwich, for which the same price is charged that all other places sock you for a whole sandwich, viz., one penny. A sandwich is made by cutting one round of bread and then cutting that in half, and placing the two halves together with something between. But Wellington cuts it again, and makes two halves out of one. Not half a-bad idea, sez they, but not so the public. If one inquires in any tearoom the why and the wherefore of this the answers are also a division ... of opinion. Let's hear a few from your readers. 1 HUNGRY. SPARTAN BOXER. Two American boxers in the Olympic team have been recalled because they broke the training rules. In contrast, let us cite South Africa's "cave man" cruiserweight representative for the Olympic Games, Sidney Robert Leibbrandt. Leibbrandt takes the game sejriously, living a Spartan life. He does" not eat meat. He has given up sleeping on a mattress. "I became a vegetarian eight years ago," he told a reporter. "Meat gives one more immediate strength, but the diet of a vegetarian makes for lasting stamina." He lives on milk, vegetables, and fruit. His bed is without spring or pillow; instead he sleeps on hard wooden boards. He says that springs and mattresses are uncomfortable. "If I were to lie on a mattress it would hurt me," he says. "It puts dents into my back, and I cannot sleep on it. On wooden planks I am comfortable." Liebbrandt sounds like m chap who could "take it." THE ÜBIQUITOUS FUHRER. It is reported that Hitler'is making friendly passes (as the Americans say) in the direction of Czechoslovakia. The Czechs had better beware. Of a total population in the State of 14,130,000, there are 3,231,009 Germans, which is nearly 25 per cent. There may be some significance in the fact that last month a Berlin newspaper drew attention to the number of Germans in the Czech army. Here are the figures: Czechs 95,000, Germans 40,000, Slovaks 25,000, and miscellaneous 11,000. Some nice material.there for Nazi intrigants to work on. It is said that Poland is contemplating having her army reorganised by German officers and re-equipped by German armament firms. Rumania, it is said, shows a steady growth of Fascist, anti-Semitic, pro-Nazi, and anti-Com-munist propaganda. Russia suspects Nazi peaceful penetration at work in Finland, who is not favourably disposed towards the Soviet. It is beginning to look as though Hitler has, not a finger in the European pie, but both hands. BRAIN-TEASER. Be not misled! The solving starts Not at the train: that naught imparts To get the scent; we must first look To the chauffeur, who leaves his nook' On time as yore, and though his speed Remains unchanged (we're ' told to heed) He yet returns (with Massa too) A full third hour before his due. 'Tis patent then this time he saves— One half each way. And so ther« paves A way to light: Ten minutes more He would be at the train by four. That time's conserved—both there and back— For now he spies right in his track The old man stepping bright and nifty, Although—Great Scot!—'tis but threefifty. And the enigma is thus solved . . . We hope 'twas found not too involved. SHORT TACK BILL. Another intelligence test tomorrow POSTED . . . MISSING. W.K.—An extra-special ad. faux pas, that one. Our colleagues, too, enjoyed it. Have passed your tribute on to Mrs. McClancy, whose "fan" mail grows fatter and fatter. "O'L."—"Are we not due for another bouts-rimes competition?" Curiously enough, we were thinking along that line ourselves. Arthur J. Emprey.—(l) Not at present. (2) Try one of the weeklies. "Sore."—Cheer up. There's always balm in Gilead. "Aloha" (Masterton).—That one appeared in a contemporary some months ago. T.M.—Loaded with libel. Do you want to see us out on the street? "A Tawa Flat."—Our apologies. We owe you more; your M.S. has inexplicably gone astray. Might we have a copy? "Hupe Tonett."—Alas they Motuekans! Here's one stanza: Before the Socialistic rule You almost were unholy civil. But now you've turned most awful cruel— A "pole" can't even praise the devil! Actually we are an extremely gracious and long-suffering old gentleman. "Em" (Brooklyn).—Wavered on the edge of the yawning w.p.b. and then nose-dived. •'Jacmae."—A neat definition but scarcely publishable. "Castile."—Cannot allow you to saysuch things in this column even though they be true. Alice Turner (Motueka).—A cheering note. Thanks for what you savabout Column 8. J M.S.—Herewith one stanza: — I walked in the garden, the sun shone bright. I found a green grub that would grow wings of white. | Perchance 'twould devour my cab- | bages quite. There were signs of an early spring. Good hick in your ethical pursuits. F.P.—Thanks, but we published that Hitler story last year.