POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVII, Issue 72, 26 March 1934, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Add similes: As significant, as thosa almost daily broadcasts from Little America. * * * "Many men (we read) go to Oxford simply to amuse themselves." Sweet are the uses oi! a varsity. « •* * If it. is established that Japanese aviators are, invariably attacked by vertigo at high altitudes .because they aro vegetarians,-what'a. made-to-orde'r new alibi our convivial motorists "will • have! * * * CBYPTOGBAMMATIC. This, juft as received from an anonymous correspondent. -Will someone decode it for us? l Percy Fladge,— Tho yap of the Alsatian has goa.9 forever jubro TJ-OFF WOOF "Gco" St. Bernard Sure (clog Bite Kiwi), * . . ■»■-.• THIS MONTH OF GRACE. Dear Flage,—Let it be clearly understood that there is do connection whatever between the soothsayer's admonition "beware the Ides of MaTch" and the date of arrival in Now Zealand of George Bernard Shaw. Yet' if this wayward savant should happen to point out any anachronism other than himself, then we shall laugh, shall wo not, and pass it off by telling him kindly that we are at the moment right, in th't very thick of the mad March days! ' WIXSH. * * * FROG FANTASY. Mr. Flage.—"Would this qualify me for membership of that U.S.A. Liars' Club you told us about the other day? I suppose you <lon't remember "Wellington in ISC3. In the winter of that" year an Antarctic cyclone descended on us so terribly that the harbour' -was frozen from stem to stern. This happened so suddenly that all the frogs were caught in the jam -with their legs up—previously the weather had been so mild that they were coasrnig an their backs laughing into the eye of th*e sun. However, I hived a- lawn mower, mowed off all the- frogs' legs before lunch, shipped 75 cases to France —the French are exceedingly fond of snails —and made a net profit of £oOJ)0 Os 4d. If you cannot beat this, I'll bring you along my egg whisk. SAPPHEBA. * ♦ * AX "OLD FOGEY." Dear Percy,—According to' authorV ties consulted by mo the definition at the above phrase is somewhat different' from, that given recently in col. 8. The term "old fogey" is said to be derived' from the old military pensioners of Edinburgh Castlo who acted as ■watermen; and tho word is allied to others of Teutonic origin—such as fogat, phogot, voget, foged, fogde, :etc, all of which signify policemen, guards, pro-. tectors, and so on. Another explanation is the old Scotch word "fog" as a synonym for "moss"; thus "fogio rose" means moss rose; "fogie bee" means bumble bee; "a rolling stone gathers nae fog" (moss). Consequently, "old fogey" means "old moss"— i.e., a .man facially adorned with moss or fungus. Ain't we got fun, Gns? L.D.A. * * * KOOSEVELT MAKES FORTUNES— .FOR OTHERS; Flage,—The dizain of Hyderabad's gold just multiplied while he ate, or slept or"''drank:*-■ But fortunes were won in London by foresight (or optimism) and patience when the Eoosevelfc dollar policy gave gold a boost in price. H. G. Latilla, one of the pioneers of the West African goldfields, who has seen his shares dwindle to unsaleable levels in the" past, saw his holdings appreciate by-'nearly £3,000,000." Another speculator netted (on paper, at least) a quarter of a million. He saidf "For twelve yeaTs I have been buying gold shares—sitting back and waiting for the b00m... It was certain to-come. I placed the whole of my personal fortune in those shares. Even when" they were at their lowest I bought -them because I knew they w'erc the safest thing. . . . It's a pleasant feeling to have landed so much 'mustard'—• and there is more to-come.?'. And here arc you and I slogging away for a paltry few hundreds a year. "What* the use! ... ■ ■ •■■ ' s BAWL SUREST. '* .*...''..* PREHISTORIC MAN". Tho exceptional drought during tho last summer in England lowered the River Axe in the Mcndip Hills, Somerset, to such an extent that no difficulty was found in entering caves untouched for centuries. It is to be hoped that evidence of early man was discovered. The prehistoric man never had;to build or plan, " , For"he lived up in a tree-top high and airy, Or he to his cave retired, and the costume he admired; — " Well, he had no more upon him than a fairy. If he'd manners they were rude,; if a language it was crude, ' f And then' as to his customs matrimonial, Most authorities agree, and they're right twixt you and me, That there really was more forge than ceremonial. Whcn'the lady's friends indignant paid a visit in war pigment To square matters with the self-elected Imb, No smiling then, or jiosegays, .'twas different in those.day— Marriage settlements were made then with a club. •DRUM. * * * DOEOTHY PAGET'S £150,000 A YEAR, It was high time that Dorothy Page^ owner ,of Golden Miller, won a'really, big race. In the.last three or four years she has lavished huge sums on the purchase of bloodstock for racing and breeding—rwith peppercorn results. " Afc the sales she has outbid millionaires like Lord Glanely and the Aga. Khan. They have had their share oi good fortune- in important events, but Dd**= othy Paget has had to be content with, meagre results even in minor races. Tuppence, her colt which started almost favourite for the last Derby, and for which she paid 6000 guineas, has won but two small events worth £200. Despite tho bad luck she has encountered, after "an outlay which must ba £80,000 in the past three or four years, Miss Paget is now planning to go in for racing and breeding on a, more ambitious scale than ever. She paid, nearly £ 9000 on four yearlings- at Doncaster in September, and at the Newmarket sales later she gave about £21,000 for three mares, Dorigen, Salome, and Speckle, which went to tho Brickfields'' Stud at .-Newmarket. ■ This expenditure came at the end of a most disappointing flat season, when she won nine moderate races worth only under £3000. Fortunately, Miss Paget, who is also a substantial wagerer, is, not yet hard up. She inherited a fat fortune from her mother, one of tho American Whitiicys, and, it is reported, has a yearly income of £150,000 to play with. Before coming into horssracing-, she went .the whole hog,on-motoit racing. . " ~