POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVI, Issue 24, 29 January 1934, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment BY PERCY PLACE Add similes: As non-communicativo as Sir James Parr. * * * Sixpences of the Dominion 's ww special coinago readied Auckland a few clays ago. A friend of ours, a bank accountant, had to count 25,000 of them—after a night at a party. ' - * « * In spite of the notorious vicissitudes Of French politics, it is, curious to remark tho thousands of outsiders who nowadays are fighting to get into th» Chamber of Deputies. .■#■».. • ' It is claimed in America that, a! gramophone disc has been invented which can play for eighty-six minutes. All that is needed now is to iind someone to stay to listen to it for that time. ■ • ■ * # # ENTENTE COKDIALE. Have you heard tho latest rumour^ Mr. Flage? Tin sheep farmers are so,delighted with the rise in wool prices that they are giving the 25 per cent, exchango to help tho dairy farmers. Not to be outdone, the dairy farmers ai'e giving half of this to the unemployed funds. Splendid, isn't it 3 But perhaps you had better verify it be* foro you lead the cheering. Y. RAEAPA. * c*e* * MATHEMATICAL "MYSTERY." ' As we have not seen this one before we assume that there are other! to whom it will be new—and of interest. ' 90909-^91=099 80808-^9I=BBB . 70707-^-91=777 OO(5O6-~01=666 50505H-91=555. 40404-M>l=444 30303-^91=333 20202-^9l = 222 , 10101-^9l=lll ■». ■ #, # A LIBRARY THAT'S DIFFEBEK.T. Dc'ar Percy Flage,—lt is generally; taken for granted that libraries art used for the accommodation- of booki and newspapers. I know a unique little library in a sleepy little town in a North Island province that is occasionally tised for an. entirely different pur», poec. When the men from a neighbouring unemployment camp get stranded in town they invariably make a bee-lino for the local library; no, not for the.purpose of enriching their minds, but for a night's shelter.' 'Tins outside door of thi9 institution is never closed, and it is my candid opinion that cows, sheep, and dogs often sojourn there also. Tho library's stock of reading matter is never very. large. Two copies of a metropolitan paper about threo days old, some ragged copies of tho province's dailies, and one of the local- "rag" repose on tho one table. This country town certainly deserves aj new library I N.F.H. * * » FLOW OF CREDIT. If you have heard this one—it was forwarded by "C.B." —pleaso stop us. Pat and Mike had a 15-dollar barrel of beer, with a tap- on each side, and they proposed to sell the beer as a joint enterprise, one from one tap and th« other from t'other. Trado was very, siow, but Pat found a- ten-cent pieUft in the road, and w.cnt around to Mike'H side and bought. a schowner of beer. Shortly afterwards Miko himself grew thirsty and went back to Pat* side ofi tho barrel ana bought himself a drink, Tho two Irishmen had found out thatj all you need to carry on a business itf an active way was a continuous flow of credit. Business boomed. .When thai berfr was all gone, the dime was repOSi ing in Mike's pocket. Mike thought iti would be a good idea to sell another; barrel of beer. So he said to Pat: "Ba gorrah, you go and get another barrel of beer, and I'll -shtart the flow ofl credit!" SHAKESPEARE ON BODY-LINE. '. Dear Mr. Flage,—Body-line, they tell me, is dead. So is Shakespeare. Therefore I have enlisted, the aid of the- bard (through his works) to obtain his re-* port and opinion of the controversy. Before my God, I might not this believ«f Without tho sensible and true avouch Of-' mine own eyes. (Hamlet). What bloody man is thafj Who twofold balls and treble sceptlei -arms? (Macbeth.) 2e/ proved best man i* the field, andj ' for his meed Was brow-*bound with the oak. (Corio* lanus.) This mock of his Hath turned his balls to gunetones^ - and hia soul Shall stand sore charged for the waste* ful vengeance That flies with them. fHeury V.) He, on our unfurnished kingdomi Camo pouring, like a tide into a breach,' With amplo and brim, fulness of his force, Galling tho gleaned land with hos essays, That England, being empty of defence^ Hath shook and trembled at the ill neighbourhood. (Henry V.) When we have matched our rackets ta( these balls, Our vain blows are delicious mockery, Whero is my strength, my valour, ans " ray power, As fittirfg best to quittance his deceit Contriv'd by art and.baleful sorcery| (Henry VI.) This play may pass, if they be still atii? Avilling. (Hcury YlII.) Mr. Shakespeare, not being a crick* cter, gets a little confused in his pas* ,sion. "Treblo seepti'es" aro evidently; 'inc;int as "wickets"; ho also confuses "oak" with "willow," and "rackets'' with "bats." ANNE HOWE. * *• * "KABBIE" HATED BIGOTRY. Reports of that anniversary suppch held by tho Wellington Burns Clubt serve, to recall tho story of how the very human poet defended a clerical friend of his who, suspected of holding heterodox opinions on several points, was arraigned before the Synod. The acrimonious and, to him, unchatit* able spirit shown in the prosecution! caused Bums to write in the "Kirk's Alarm" — Dr. Mack, Dr. Mack, you should stretch! on a rack, To strike evil doers wi' terror; To join faith and nenso upon ony pro* tence Is heretic^ damnable error! Of tho Eov. Dr. Dalrymple, senior minister of the parish of Ayr, also a friend of the Scottish poet. Who was .suspected of holding similar views, Burns wrote— D'rymple mild, D'rynrple mild, though kyour heart's like a child, Ana your life's like the new-driveS an aw, Yet that winna save ye and Satan must have ye t For preaching that three's ane anj twat Though Burns was'intensely religu ous, he was the foo of all bltfitrj;, _[