HUMP'S THE WORD.

Evening Post, Volume CXVI, Issue 80, 2 October 1933, Page 8

HUMP'S THE WORD.

(With acknowledgments to a wellknown poem by Wordsworth. (!) The fiend has seized me. Disinfect on. receiving. No flowers: by : request. In short, dear Flage; I have been afi flicted with the mumps! ■ ' < Oh, mo temp's a hundred an' four, An' it feels if it's that an' more; An' me.'oad is swelled (with mumps, an' not with swank)/; It 'urts like 'ell to eat; ' An' the swellin' is a treat; In fact, all things considered, I feel (blank)! Mc'ead-is fit to bust; An' I couldn't eat a crust An' I'm dithery, as if I'd been o» spree. Mo neck's that bloonrin' sore ■ I could chuck it through the door An' be damn glad to lose it—an' that'i me! .". ■..'• ;. : Chorus. For it's mumps, mumps, mumps,^ An' spots are 'overinf round the painful scene,. ' . An' as Gunga Din, I see, Is a better man' than me— I wish to 'ell that I was Gunga Din. : '. ■.-■; • • JUNius. - P.S. —Can anyone suggest a remedy! •«. « , ■..-* ~. UNEMPLOYMENT CAMP. A small posy —nothing explosive in* side it —for the .Unemployment Board* as a change from the brick-bats usually; hurled at the board's devoted head. 1. speak from first-hand experience. I am a "boarder" in ono of the camps . . . never mind whore. I entered the instil tution not exactly singing and dancing. It was not long before I realised that raging around town looking for a job' that didn't exist was ad... d sights worse, physically and as to moral. Thera iaro all softs of us, but no one is ■exipected to tacklo work beyond his gen« eral capabilities: a discerning and synv> pathetic boss sees to that. You are asked to do a. reasonable day's work— nothing more. The amenities of -4his camp pleasantly surprised me. ' Tlicj menu, day by day is generous,1 wholesome, and varied. Hygienic condition* are what most ■of us have- l)ecn used to. at home. There arc oodles of hot water daily^ which means that "tubbing" and clothes washing are not trying ordeals. There is a telephone setvico as well as radio and a camp library. We sleep two in a hutment, ond play cards, draughts, chess, etc.. in the> big room; which has a fireplace that will take lovely logs: This camp is a. home away from homo for quite a lofc of chaps, and I personally am a hundred per cent, better all round today than 1" was three months ago, now I have got used to swinging the old "banjo"—to which I was transferred from the axft after a preliminary trial. . And tho moneys not half bad—if you refrain from tying up with a poker school on pay nights. ■ Given under 'my seal and hand— DOT-DASH-DOT. P.S. —I. forgot to mention that ivo have a morning and afternoon snack, on the joli. plus Ih.e" inevitable rigur-