POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 149, 27 June 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

§V PERCY FLAGE

How could a bridegroom -who lose* hia memory on the eve of his wedding be trusted, when a husband, to wind up the-'cat and put the clock outside. . ;'.#•■■-.♦■ , • ' That issue, of new boots to relief workers (at the*pri,e of a day's labour)should do something to counter the epidemic of cold feet now sweeping the country. ♦ - • • Anyhow, there's a great joke on thai sneak thief who has been stripping tha clothes lines in Hataitai. How in tha name of fortune can he hope to dry; his loot this weather? * * *' • Judging by latest anti-Nazi develop* mchts in Austria, it looks as though, young Dollfuss could demand his owni figure as ;i publicity, paladin, in tha States if anything -went wrong witl) his Chancellorship. .♦ :■ • ■ • SPLASHBOARDS NEEDED. Flage,—lt's: all very well to throw off at Undo Sam's 3.2 mouthwash, but the new 4 per, cent, wine is a geyser. It develops such a "kick" after being put aside for a while that, when it is served in cafes, customers are supplied with a raincoat, umbrella, and goloshes for protection when the clamp top i 3 removed. MANHATTAN. . #■;..:♦ • . BRAIN WAVE. It is up- to Dr. Marsden. Our busS would be cleared of vermin in next to no time if our scientists could find means of converting the skins of rats, stoats, and weasels into footgear, or. : neckwear, for our fashionable women folk. Remark the unhappy decimating time the big lizards, and snakes and little fur-clothed monkeys of Af ric* have had the last few years, not to me** ( tion the crocodiles. * - - .*. *. CULTURAL SUGGESTION. Dear Flage,-— Cannot something be done to !»• prove "The Post" venders' yodelt, The monotonous howling with which the boys now split the welkin is sadly, misnamed "yodelling," and unless something is done I forecast drastic action by the Society for the Abatement of Unnecessary Noises. I suggest that L.D.A. drop his pen and start a school for the lads; they; could commence with, something simple' like "Ecoht Eeohl, Bottle o' Rum," and ultimately■ pro« duce a recognised yodel which might do more for musical education, in WeU lington than ten years of organ recitals. SORE 'EARDRUMS. ♦ * « DID YOU EFFER!. f* Taffy" (Palmerston North) inquires" particulars of Caradoc Evans recently married to a titled author. ' Evans is Wales's best known and best-hated (by] his own people) novelist. He regards the Welsh as a race of liars, cheats, and hypocrites who mask their vices, • under the cloak of religion. Hence hi« wide"popularity" in the West;' When first .produced in London, his play, "Taffy," sent Evans's countrymen lusting for his blood. They howled like wolves on his trail, and purtued hint ferociously in tho newspapers^ Evans replied in an article in, one of the Sunday "sensationals" to thY charge that he had maligned the Welsh! in his play. However, his defence added to the original offence. Evans held that it was impossible to malign Welshmen because "nothing that could bo said of them was as bad, as they deserved. . . I showed my London audience the best side of my people. Had I shown the other side there would be no room for the Welsh in London."!. ' • . »■*"' * A LITTLE BIT OF ASTROLOGY. Dear P.F.—Here is something fresh, and so high-toned that it reaches righl up to the stars. Men hope for peace today, And for the end of wars; They'll end with the rod ray O£ the fierce planet Mars. Men fear that love may die, O'erpowered by earth's dark BtftiM) While Venus gems the sky, True, tender love remains. Cold Saturn makes men sad, And weighs them. down>to'f»rtil»f Bright Mercury makes gladWith wit, and thought, and mirth. And Jupiter Free, noble, kind, and wi«* God-like in every sense, Rains blessings from the .skiei. Keen Uranus t*« hour . Of science clearly strikes; Neptune, chaotic power, Roams the vague paths he "likes. Lord of the underworld, Dark Pluto has arisen; His flag, where'er unfurled, Is black, his home.a, prison. Some near,, and some go far, The rolling planets run— Each potent, fateful star— Around their lord the gun, ♦. .* ft * *<SCOOP" FROM WORLD COl^s, FERENCE. Dear Flagc,—l yroinised to write yo« from the "Big Smoke" (London), but my time has been fully occupied carrying out official duties. I arrived at a very opportune time. Had barely; dug-' myself in, and discovered I ' had plunged into tho midst of the. World Conference. Pleased to inform you I am able to give you Bomo very special inside information on this matter. It is not necessary to be a statesman to attend a conference of this nature. Provided- you are reasonably good-looking, immaculately dressed, havo plenty of pep and personality, and aro a good "miser" (both socially and at the long bar) your position is ■ > assured. Many of tho delegates already find they have not tho stamina to stay the distance. One correspondent wrote: "Tho pace of the"World Conference is a cracker, and is beginning to tell on delegates. Meetings, socials, and banquets took toll of thoso present this morning." Here is a brief summary of a. day at the' Conference:— Morning session opens 10.30 a.m.: Parade a washout. Most delegates cot cases. Suffering bad "hang-over" contracted previous evening's festivities. Still under tho "shut-eye." 1 p.m.: Adjourn for lunelifion. Chang* from morning dress to afternoon attire. Necessitates complete change, enabling valet to press morning trousers. Exception to this procedure is taken by our chief delegate, Mr. Forbes. He docs not, at any time, pretend to be fussy; about his pants. Afternoon session opens 2.30 o'clock. Closes down 4,30 o'clock. Delegatesrush long bar. Social whirl of'the eveninp starts in earnest. Will deal with this exclusively in mjj nest letter, [WILLIE-WE VEE