POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 74, 29 March 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Commenf

BY PERCY FLACE

Japan has definitely ■withdrawn from the League of Xations in order to remain indefinitely in Manchuria with drawn swords. * * • Heeuey "ploughed into Poreda for the first two rounds"—but he suffered a scarifying experience subsequently. * * * Headline in an American daily:— TEETH EXPORTING TRADE GOODI, You've said a mouthful. * * * NO LOOKING BACKWARD. Senator Greene, from Australia^ expresses the opinion that New Zealand has a great future before it. \Hooray! A future, in retrospect would leave vi quite without hope. ; ~ * * • BRAIN 'WAVE.. One putting-the-eountry-first way.out of the button glut would be for ths Government to agree to Britain's 6 per cent, restriction, and make the differ? ence up to tho farmers by inflating ex« change by 6 per cent. ,* *'■*'" " . • DON'T MISS THIS ONE! Dear Perceiving Friend,- —Should superstition exist amongst any of your sport-minded readers in Tarariaki, and they wish to make a pile as big as Egmont, what is wrong with ALIi ■HUMBUG at Stratford on April Fool'i Day? ABERDEEN. ■ . • ♦ •■ *. . • . IN THE SAFEST PLACE. Every pound hoarded by the individual, says the New Zealand "Welfare League, involves the community in aa equivalent loss, which must eventually react to the detriment of the hoarder. You can't scare us with that nonsense, Messieurs the leaguers, In these dayi a penny saved is a "penny retained. . N * ■ "■* ' * PERVERTED PROVERBS. "Bill Bowyang" forwards these: Theatrical managers are .known b» the company they keep. ' A husband at home is worth two at the club. ; Rob Peter to pay Paul by all means it, you should happen to be Paul. A rolling stone gathers no moss because it would hamper its style. Two heads .are better than one oft a penny in a two-up school. ' We are never too old to yearn. ■ . ■.■■■•=■.- * ♦ , : ■■ - NONE IS INFALLIBLE. Dear Plage,—As you discovered early in your Postscript incarnation one has to be m lg hty careful about heaving -brick-bats when one lives' in the proverbial glass-house. Take-, for- example, an up-and-coming contemporary; of yours. The other day-it poked corrective fun at a scribe who had perpetrated one or two rather diverting errors. On another page the same -journal informed its readers ; (1) that a naif-mile hadbeen run in the startlinslv fast time of 23 2-ssee, and (2) that the javelin-throwing championship , had been won in 65 2-osec! Which .-just goes to show, doesn't it?. - QSCAB EGG. :'.-..■ * ■.*.- *-'■■'• ■■■ -. , S NOT ■CNDEEs'TOODi.'*' £.?"■". I'm down and out, yes, down and out. ana full o' sad regrets, • The only comfort I get now is beer and cigarettes. , ■ ' It's no good 'untin' fer a job^there's no thin' to be did, - *. It takes some sehemin' these 'ard times to borrer 'arf a quid. ' It's no-good fossickin' fer gold, the old 'ands got the lot, ' ' This talk of virgin? lands to till is all a lot. oV rot; .. "-,. The^ shoals o' fish around our coast is ■ riothin' else but skite, _ I went out fishin' twice last weejk an* couldn't get a T>ite. - • J Sometimes I wish I.; wasn't born, I haven't/'ad no show, I've thunk a lot o? patents out, but none of 'em'll go. " - : I tried the taxi business once, but that was a mistake, ' ' The boats come in too early before & bloke could wake. I then took on wharf lumpin' and eot a decent start, ~ When the liftin' got so 'eavy I nearly strained me 'art; .- ' The doctor said a case like mine was . what 'c- called a. freak, - He said, when 'c first glanced a'tme't knew me 'art was weak. Some people say, "Go" on relief," but they don't . The pick and shovel always makes big blisters on me 'and; . And while yer on relief work yer might miss a dinkum, job, It's not worth-while me takin' risks fer a imeasley ten bob. I got a job once taking round a church' collection plate, •-■= ' But they ,gdt a bloke to watch, me; $ was 'alf a second late; I asked 'em fer another chance: they* sacked me straight away^ .•.,"'. And gave a ene-armed cove the job* so 'e'can't make it pay. Me wife, she went out washin' once* but that's knocked on the 'cad. One night I went 'ome awful tired ans found 'er empty bed.Through me tears I'found a note on & empty box o' tea, ' She said she would no longer keep a' , lazy 'ulk like me. "A lazy 'ulk," them -words, cut deepi and shook me 'ole man'ood; I know what Bracken meant now whea 'c said "Not Understood.-" I'm now classed as a single man, but no fclave camps fer me, I'd rather starve and suffer 'ere, fightin' fer liberty. _ ■> Forbes and Coates are goin» to 'ay« .some real 'ard nuts to crack, We blokes are getting numerous, we'rjj g;oin' to 'aye our whack; When ,'Arry 'Olland tops the pol»j we'll 'aye a dinkum fight • Fer- justice, liberty, and freedom, eh, too blooming right! G. h. CHITTENDEN. Nelson. * * .- • '■ THE NOT-TOO-SIMPLE LIFE IN FBASCE. You cannot live the back-to-nature simple life in France with impunity, so fo speak. Take the case of Eugene Massou, who tried the experiment, and is now serving a three months' gaol sentence. For several years Massou's annual expenditure had not exceeded ns. Practically the whole of this 'went in the purchase of matches. Unfortunately, he set fire to a barn by accident, and, panic-stricken, fled to a forest and established himself in a hut and lived on the country. But the hermit failed to realise that while he was eluding the gendarmes he was committing such offences as vagabondage, appropriation of the public domain, failing to submit plans of proposed building, building without authorisation, poaching and stealing vegetables, failing to make a declaration of income, and failure to register under the Social Insurance Law. It was on that impressivr" list of nrisdememours Massou was con*, victed and sentenced. . .