POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 72, 27 March 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGS

Chronicle and Comment

Smithy's feat yesterday impressed everybody, but one of his legs was not too clever after he landed. * * * Shaw may not know how Hitler Trill turn out, but we know whom the Chancellor is turning out. * # * Dear Percy Plage,—Culled from the "British Weekly."—"The tall dark ewe-* trees stood." Do you (yew) know where those trees are to be found? ' . ..- ANON. Perhaps down Bamsgate way.—P.lP, « « # BUBBLE BEPTXTATION. : When, paradoxically, you depreciate currency to increase national credit, it invariably turns out to be the Government's' credit only which is inflated. * # ♦ THEY KNEW—OE DID THEY? It is beginning to look as though Messrs. Coates and Masters were right when they declared in the face- of fierce criticism to the contrary that tha raising of the exchange would be followed by a fall in prices. Observe the figures "for our primary produce in the Home market today. * ♦ * > FIRST CATCH YOUE HABE. Earnest correspondent' writes to a contemporary: It was lack of just common sense since 1914 that got us into this mess,, and it is only common sense that will get us out of it. But the trouble about common sens* is that there's so little of it dis« coverable. * * •* LIMEBICKS. ', Dear Percy, Herewith a couple of limericks whicX may, or may not, be useful. . . .■ A young huntsman named Beginald Vaughan Was blowing his haughan on tht laughan, His friends (were all laughing And, scaughanfully chaughing Because his faughan breeches wera taughan. There was a young fellow named Tate Who went out to dine at eight-eight} But I will not relate What this young fellow Tate And his tete-a-tete ate at eight-eight "LEN ASHTON."" Lower Hutt. •■ * • • "ANANIAS" EEDIVIVXJS. Dear Perce, — I really must apologise for my long silence, but I have been busy trying to work out how to, fill in my application: form for conversion of my giltedged (?) securities. However, I have just noticed that if my application is uot in by the 24th Mr. Coates will convert my holdings for me. So with, a lightened heart I'll leave the. dirty; work to him and scribble some more nonsense for your worthy column.. So J.W.F. has missed me, eh?. Well, that's the best •compliment I've ever had. What about a'i-eply to "The Bounder?? and let us call him "The Blighter." , Our June is not a laughing month, The short-haired rhymster groans, It is a month of leaden skies, : And the edd, cold south wind moans. And always the wild wind blows ia June, Blue is the tip of the nbse, All dithery dun and slithery sun It taketh the bun, and removes all :tn# fun. And makes your blighter froze. When the wind is rude He's a trifle screwed, :: '. In the good oia pub you'll find him, With his feelings not too feelingly fitter Sustained' by a glass of gin and bitter, And a bath-bun slung behind him. ANANIAS. ! P.S. —Have forgotten to censure J. W. F. for calling me a. "hasbeen;-" However, my literary (?) pseudonym, demands a pretty tough hide, so we'll let it go that. —A. * * * ' ' MOBALITY OF WHISKERS. Dear Percy,—As no such wisdom s\ yours could" originate from a shaven jowled celibate but from a densely and superbly whiskered father, it is hoped, that in this barbarous age the following .suggbstion heralded by the versatile Medical Officer of Health, who; writes in the "Municipal Engineering Eecord," will stir your lyrical powers for the initiation of a back-to-NatuTa whisker campaign. Now read what our medical guide has to say with re* ference to fathers and their craft, an 4 whiskers in particular:—;" "What Dr. Fenton had to say about fathers and fathercraff continues to echo, and for long, no doubt, as a result of the publicity given to it in the1 Prc*s, will continue to echo round tha world, j Personally, I am not a gr&t authority on fathers, and though I have in my time done things in tha> home that Dr. Fenton and his jolly; fellows on his committees and councils class as fathcrcraft, I do not pretend to know much of its art and practice. • I cannot for example sing lullabies; the dog objects. Nor can I make cradles out of banana crates, it hurts my thumb. One thing I can do, and, enjoy doing, and that is bathing a child .or two. We find you can get more fun in a bathroom, and: make inors mess and noise there without being told, that "as for you, you should have more sense," than in any other room in the house. But so far as fathers are concerned, though I know little about' them, and less about fatherhood and . fathercraft of the typo and quality exposed by Dr. Fenton to his lady friends at the Health Visitors Winter School, I know that I am less imposing and successful in the parf than was my father. To my mind, this is not only true of .me; it is true of all uon-father-craftyj fathers. I am sure that my. children do not. regard me, nor do' the modern children of any really modern human tolerant kind of father regard him with the same awe and respect as we looked upon o^ur fathers. The reason for this I believe-to be that whereas our fathers nearly always wore a certain amount of hair about the face, and commonly sported whiskers ancl a beard, we of, today are not only beardless, but almost invariably clean-shaven. To my mind, it ia very much more difficult to take seriously one in loco parentis who is without anything on his face that betokens age "and solidity. The safety razor and artificial silk have been held to be responsible for the pre-sent-day lack of morality. In tha family circle the razor quite definitely has lessened the pomposity that, in the fathers of an earlier day, compelled respect from their young. I should like to suggest to Dr. Fenton that he diiduces some of the members of his "Fathers' Councils" to start a crusade in favour of the abolition of razors and a return to the bearded state of. fathers, and, as no crusade today is of any us© without a slogan, I humbly suggest this—'Down with the Eazor'and Down for the Chin.' " - ■ S-c. j