POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 71, 25 March 1933, Page 12

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Commenf

BY PERCY FLAGE

One hurdle facing Josef Stalin ij that it is easier to stuff empty bead 3 than empty stomachs. *«■* ■ ■ . Here's how we figure it out. "W» all are undone because we are finding it difficult to undo those things wa ought not to have did... sorry, -we meaa done. ■ ■ * * • Los Angeles reports the slaughter of 20,000 wild goats to provide meat for 200,000 needy and hungry persons. Sounds like a mild form of cannibalism, if you're a political rebel. ." * * ■ • -.-'.■. Bemarks ''Amos- 'n '-Andy' ': —Peopl* complain that the cost of Government is Joo high. It's worse than that: if* exorbitant when you consider ' th» second-rate quality of the product. * • "■ '• "... • NUMISMATICS. While the majority of people willnflt doubt be awaiting with interest an announcement regarding tho nature of the designs .for our new coinage, I am not in -the least concerned, because I always have- had, and always will have, designs of my own upon all coin* of legal tender. . - ■ ' WINSH. Dunedin. OUT OF NOTHING NOTHING COMES. Oar pedagogues may regard themselves as fortunate that they are not working under the Chicago School regime. Teachers in that city have not drawn any pay for the last two years, but ont of the salary they have not received they are being instructed to pay/ a levy of 10 per cent, in aid of tha unemployed. ~-■'-■' * * •■• ■» VAGARIES OF CHANCE. It is a small world, A young friend of ours, unable to find employment in or about the city, slipped out into the country on his motor-bike with the idea • —a f atnons notion, possibly—of persuading a lemon-grower or, some other softhearted (or soft-headed) agriculturist to give a "practised" man a gob. (H« v is, by the way, the holder of a firstclass maritime wireless ticket.) However—he called into a service station in an isolated backblocks settlement over 400 miles from "Wellington.: Hia needs were met by one who had gone through the same wireless school as himself a couple of years previously. In. our own youthtide some miles out of Melbourne two men, one a working deep-sea pilot, the other a retired skipper, met unexpectedly at a social diversion in: our "party" room. They had not seen each other- since 3/convivial evening in Hong Kong twenty-five years previonsly.^ '.* - - '•■•"' - • '■■'■• BEANS AND HAS-BEANS. Dear Percy Flage,—l am sure that you will agree that the following is most appropriate. I thought of it while bathing. ■ ; ..' -,\ - • Farewell! a long farewell to all my ' •coppers! This is the state of man: today he puts r forth '■ ; . The tender sheaf of notes; tomorrow blossoms, ..•-'•" And/his glowing interest falls": thick" upon' him; - : The third day comes a frost, a damned big frost, . And when he thinks, good'easy man. full surely ' : His capital is agrowing, nips his bean* And then he raves as I do. i Tours, ANTHONY AKMCHAIB. ""Domett , . , ("Via Christehureh). ' ■'♦■'.- ■. •'■.•. SCHOOL'S IN. . Do you know that— (1) Sopa, the oldest tortoise a'i .tSi London Zoo, died last month at th« estimated age of 200? . (2) The name, "White House, the official home of America's . Presidents, derives from an incendiary fire in 1814 which made it necessary to whiten the smoke-stained walls'with paint? ■ (3) Buses running between Ulster and the Free State ars now escorted by Free State armoured cars? <4) Dud to bad times,: 1400 ratepayers were dealt "with in one day as defaulters at the Willesden (London)' Police Court? • . '. (5) Norman's "Woe, the scene of the "Wreck; of the Hesperus/ is a long reef in the Atlantic, a few miles from the American coa3t? . - • (6) It has occurred to.-us that a technocrat must become an autocrat t» be of real service to this crippled world? . (7) At least 500,000 persons in the; U.S.A. are now supporting themselves by barter? '• ' - (8) This is a fable? • "I shooH not 'aye ze dress," declared the petito modiste to the elderly customer. "Eefc. ' does not suit modom. in ze least.' 3 - .(9) An American inventor has successfully demonstrated^ radio-equippe i motor-ear that automatically stops at a crossing upon, approach of a traint (10) The'opossum has.patent crushers attached to some of its. teeth to enable it to crunch insects?" ••*.■•♦ . ft ; ■-' ' NERVANA. On Piteairn they, ' , ' ' ' The islanders, Don't night and daySit round and curse Their evil state— They haven't one '-' To contemplate ... . ■ Which must be ftrn. Out in that lone Pacific void. Debts are unknown, . And unemployed. ..'."• No currency Cranks shout around, Technocracy ' . Is just a sound, . . '. ' No rate collect- ~ . ■ Ors dun these follt,. No derelict ' , .V _ • .. Cassandras croak. :.- They do not care . I . " A single jot / That we despair, f And all that xo& They go their way: ■ - TTntempted by Civilisa- ■ Tion's hue ana crjC Pagan, I wist That I might Bee More of such Christ- : lanity. • . ISIDOEE McFLAGE. * *' * REMEMBER THIS ONE? This anecdote, a present from "Idunno" (Karori), has a reminiscent sound, but it will touch a Tesponsive chord in. many troubled.^ hearts. An indefatigable rate-collector had died, and a subscription list for the purchase of & wreath was circulated in a business office. The chief put himself down for £1. A few days later a clerk approached the boss for his cheque and received one for £2. "You want £1 change?" inquired the clerk. "No," shouted the big man, "keep it and bury5 .another-of the gang." •