POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 36, 13 February 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLACE

Good out of seeming evil. The jump in petrol price should help to ease our vexed day-parking problem, anyhow.

When they read, as happens periodic ally, that some stock or produce hat.' touched a "new low," our beset husbandmen must, be torn by the memory of the "old high" prices that can never return. ♦ ■ •■ • ■ .' KEFLECTIOK. . It seems strange—doesn't it?—that every time the sun has a spot he is determined that we poor mortals shall share the liquid refreshment -with him. Pity he doesn't change the brand occasionally. UPSAN' DOWJTES O'FLYFFE. * * ' *' METALLURGICAL INQUIRY. lly dear 3Flage,— In Exodus it is recorded that th« burdened multitude found it impossible " to make bricks without straw. How then can the Coalition expect us to provide tax if we are without tin? Is the history of another Exodus about to be written? * ■ ■■ NULLA BON A. .. WHAT OF ZUMMEESET? Dear Percy,—Lancashire dialect— here's an example, copied, of course, and ancient. ' Workman to his choonis: "A've coom weeout me baccy, this mornins. H» ony on yer ony on yer?" . E. KO3STOSH.. ■ ' ■;* .' ,? ■:■■.•■■■■ •■.■■■•.'• SSSH! Flage,— j ■■■'-..■ Whether you are an addict or not, how does this strike you? A golfer who took his score for every round had a habit', sometimes irritating to his opponent, of patiently holing out, even, if the issue of a hola had long since been decided. One day, havingvhopelessly lost a; hole, he was studying his fourth putt when a friend from an adjoining green called out. "How are you getting on. over there?'' ■ The^ patient player's opponent raphed, "Please be quiet. He's in. th» middle of a 'break." ' ' ' G.B. • ■ :♦ • ■;♦■... ■ ■ ■ ' BIG CE]£KET. ' It ; just shows you how seriously they take their big cricket in the Old Dart when you know that the "DailyMail" out-"6cooped" its rivals by solemnly interviewiy-f the mother and fiancee of Bowes why with Bradman's help, dismissed the <«»i>gey" batsman nrst ball. Mrs. Bowes said "I hope Bradman doesn't feel to* badly about it. He seems a. nice yssjng man." The girl friend—"the hap&Vst and shyest girl in England yest«/rday"— almost whispered, "Isn't it wohdertui! It certainly was—including the interview. ~ ; * ■*'..-' • .-.'" " TELLING THE WOULD. "It was a sad, morbid-looking bus M said the business man—"funereal to & degree and as black all over as '£. Bantu pigmy. It might easily have been, mistaken for an. old-time hearsa minus the mournful headgear. I had been at Jbhnsonville to the stock sales, and accepted a lift back to town in. the melancholy but. perfectly efficient tumbril. Off we went, up and down, the grades, yarning of this and that, and having a nwe, quiet unexciting; time generally. * Entering the, maia city artery we encountered a traffic inspector. Now, traffic inspectors are, as a rule, serious-minded fellows, not given to eurhythmic displays in the performance of their duties. This on« was an exception. : To our amazement he parked himself in. front "of the ■wagon, extended both arms heavenward, straddled his legs, ana broke onto wild laughter. Puzzled, the driver and I descended to ascertain, the reason for such a lack'of official decorum. There, in white letters that stood ont like the Massey memorial in: a golden sunrise, we read—

TO HELL WITH THE DEPRESSION.

Some wags had got busy while tha sale was on and painted that defiant, challenging inscription on the radiator, trusting to luck that the driver"would not notice it. . He didn't. I, being: a trifle shortsighted, also missed it. ; Two innocents abroad, what?"

■ •' -THE ■EXCHANGE."■■■■"■A true blue "Liberal""writes:— - Xew Zealand once, with flags .pain legislation led the world. She catered for the Old and Young, The Rich, and Poor, for Pro.' and. Bung.The ship of State then smoothly sailed, And none of class distinctions wailed. But, since the .Farmers toot the helm^ And posed as "backbone" of the realm, Well, all the legislation framed, ■■ And all "reforms" that -have beetf claimed, Have had their birth in Class and Self* In Patronage, and Sordid Pelf. The. whole paternal Government^ It's knee to avarice has bent. It is not, therefore, passing strange That in the- matter of exchange All other. people 'count for naught "When farmers' patronage is Bought. But, in the name of God's Own Land/ And all for which good Liberals stand; How can a conscientious man, Who claims descent from Seddon't clan, . Defend an Act—alas! alas!— .< That's framed to benefit "one?' classf . * ■ * ' •'♦... ' ■ FOR SOUVENIR HUNTERS. . Those of your readers who are coa» noisseiirs and collectors may be interested to know that the Shah of Persia is open to consider an offer for his Peacock Throne and the Persian Globe. Persia is hard up ... more so thaa this little country even, for at latest reports the Treasury was literally empty. It was this condition of impeenniosity which was at the back of the --recent difference with "the Anglo-Persian oil companies. But to return to the gewgaws: the throne is valued at round about & 6,000,000. There are reputedly; 140,000 gems in the- peacock's tail. The, globe is covered with representative gems of the various countries of the world, and is two feet in diaineter { If yon would prefer something more manageable there is a shield covered with' emeralds—enormous stones, but scarcely; of superfine quality.

However, few people would know the difference between the superfine and the "throw-outs," so that- wouldn't greatly matter. My wife's synthetic' pearls, for example, leave certain o£ • her friends speechless, because they; ■were told (by me) they were a gift from a third cousin of mine in Paris' ten times removed, or whatever it is. Actually, the precious gaud cost 11-Jd at one of those "liquidation." sales which sly tradesmen rely on to circulate a fine, free flow of merchandise, BAMBINO. P.S.—I understand that the Shah will not consider offers on the so-much-doTra-and-pay-while-you-use principle except for such articles as his rolled gold spectacles and discarded cigarette lighter*