POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 12, 16 January 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Somehow we did not miss so much, the sun-toasted hill-crests, amethyst seas, and towering, rewarewas when we opened the mail this morning. Thank you, everybody. ' i * * * i After that incident of the eucalyptusdrenched handkerchief, we cannot imagine Ironmonger ringing up that good sportsman Leyland asking him to call around and meet the Victorian's lady friend. c * •-■..- TEXT FOR THE TIMES. And, as Will Shakespeare, said— "Why, courage then! What cannot b'a avoided ftwere childish weakness t<t lament or fear." ■ * * • OLD-TIME EPITAPH. "This stone was erected in memory of Samuel Sniffkins who was drowned in the Hutt River by a few affection* ate friends." "BING." * * ♦ WE SHALL SEE. Stan MeCabe, whistling to' keep hii readers' courage up, says that Pons-' ford and Eichardson are both Tjatting confidently and "can make heavy scores.*' But will England's "ex 4. presses" let them? • THE ANSWER IS A LEMON. News heading: IMPEACHMENT OF'SeION. Shades of Bui-bank/ Will the result, ant progeny have a hard -." shell or centre, .or both, or neither?' Yours with the season's compliments. MINIMA^ Featherston. * • ■•;- . ■ ■ " ■ v THEN THERE WAS SILENCE.' Dear Percy,—This seems to .be- aa auspicious way of opening Postscript* for 1933. Listen, then. ;..-■.■ HaiDhog, itinerant hawker of vegetables, knocked at the open door of ai house in Kaiwarra. From within eauia a "voice:1 "Who's there? You go, Ella.". -'■:-.'- Hai Dhog fairly danced with. rage^. -and he, screamed: "What for me g» 'ella? You go'ella yourself!" ' 0. U. JAMES. "■ Mastcrton. * * ♦ "■. WE BOWS. Dear Percy,—-Hail! old sport. Glad to see you're back, though we were sorry to see your back. Now, as you'va probably been browning in the sun, you. won't object to my bringing Brown* ing in, son, will you? As thus:— "For beer I will ring ... ■< On Monday at dawn, . And again about seven (p.m.), . W" en my 'Post' is unfurled; News of -Percy 'twill bring, . : Other news we will scorn, \ For with Flage in his haven, All's right -with the world." That's-for a start, Perce; more t§ follow. ■ :- Greetings, L.D.A ■ . * ' * ' ■'* . "■' "FROM THE NAPE OF THE ' NECK ... ." . ' Nosey Rumour-has it that 'the suggestions of the Snmner Borough. Council, .whereby bathing costumes' are- to bo in ■ design and covering capacity have already brought soma unexpected results. ' It is said that shoals of; applications for inspectorships have been received.' A curious and somewhat embarrassing feature if most letters is the age of prospective candi-date's—-from the roaring forties, upward, with appropriate allusions, to.thoi light, if onerous,: duties involved; and the value of mature experience, tact/ and resourcefulness in dealing with 5» delicate a matter as deciding,'''with' foot-rule and compass, the exacfr'area' and whereabouts of feminine' bathing apparel on individual bathers/ The success of the proposed bylaw depends, of. course, upon the assumption that thai fair nymphs of Sumner will prove quite docile and amenable to what some misguided observers might regard as an. arbitrary attack upon that very old; and most popular of seaside institutions: clothes and the Woman. ' SALOME RIDIBTJNDtTS,. ,-■•** • ■ ■ ' . - HELLO, EVERYBODY. .. , Just a line or two to say • ■ '■ '. How is everybody—eh? How are things with you . . , anj you— Cheerfuller than in '32? . ; Did you start in '33 - OS the right "foot, lustily, ' Setting up a scorching pace With a brave soap-shining face And the kind of sturdy "pins" That invariably wins,. Be the track flint-hard, or sludge, In the run home to the judge? How have Messrs. Forbes and Co. Been behaving? Going slow? Waiting, like Micawber, till ' Something turns up—good or ill? Has the N.Z^ Welfare League Run to earth the last intrigue Of the Soviet! If not, why, Also wherefore? By the byRe that masterstroke in wheati Isn't Masters hard to beat With his inspirational Statesmanship? So say we all! Once more—Hello, everyone! Will it not be rather fun . To resume the old barrage, Day by day, of persiflage, Putting humbug, cant and rot — All that slick gang—"on the spot"! We shall take 'em, soon or late, "For a ride-" in column 8. Thero are rights to wrong, and right% Also lefts, for goofy wights, Though to-day somehow we "wish. Wo felt not so Monday-ish. -' « * ♦ • 1 "DEWARISMS.'.' ••"' Dropped delicately on our wreckage" strewn desk by a fair hand a collection of the epigrams of my noble Lord Dewar. Some of them will be new to a proportion of our clients. Many a man sets out to leave foot* prints on the sands of time, and oniyf succeeds in leaving finger-prints at Scotland Y-ard. ..:'." ■ When a man says his word is as good as.his bond, get the bond. Some men electrify their audiences; others only gas them. • Talk is cheap until it gets into lova letters. ■ The road to success is filled with women pushing their husbands along. . Love is an. ocean of emotion, entirely surrounded by expenses. The quickest way to learn the latest dance motions is to turn over a beehiyo in a ballroom. The first intimation in the.Bible of broadcasting was when Adam gave a spare part which developed into a loudspeaker. You cannot blame a girl who pays 30s for a pair of silk' stockings showing 2Ss worth of them. . The- clothes that make the woman aro the clothes that break the men. Doctors must be in a dilemma to know where to vaccinate to-day to provent the marks showing. 'We have great regard for old aga when it is bottled. ,-■■■■• ;