POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIV, Issue 91, 14 October 1932, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Commtnt BY PERCY FLAGE New Zealand's reciprocity for Brit*' ' ish trade concessions has been • termed a quid pro quo, but probably quid pro quota would be nearer the mark. *• » ♦ "Peter the Painter" is wondering whether Maurice Tate's remarkably, quick, recovery from a nervous breakdown could be due to the news that Bradman possibly would not play in the Tests. ■•* ' ♦ ♦ IT STANDS OUT. One of the most pulchritudinous of the girl swimming champions, Eleanor Holm, has signed up a contract with; one of Hollywood's leading producers. Obviously, her first film should be based on the theme song, "Holm, Sweet Holm." . ♦ * * -' ' MATCHMAKING. "Apropos the periodical rumour that • links the name of Britain's Heir with that of tho Princess Ingrid of Sweden: When, heading homeward, Edward ?,• Was farewelled at the railway stationBy several sprigs of Eoyalty, We wonder if, in going, he Induced in Ingrid palpitation. * * ♦' -■ ■ . ; IT. IS—SOMETIMES. Dear P.F.,— . In Saturday's book notes there was % roference to Kreuger, the late Swedish Matcfc King. It recalled to my mind an interesting article I read in ."an English periodical some three years ago. The subject was the mighty and mystia Kreuger, then on the crest of the wave. My consequent impression of that gentleman was that he combined the rdles of Benito" Mussolini Montagu N6rman. In particular was I impressed with the.concluding paragraph of a report of an interview:— . "On being asked what were the secrets of success, Mr.'Kreuger replied that the first was Silence; the second, More Silence; and the third, Still Mora Silence." • Silence is golden, what? NAHGUH. *■ • ..»-•■■■■ DID YOU KNOW— That the "United States Census Bureau estimates there is a birth every fourteen seconds and a death every twenty-two seconds? Of the deaths, one out of 245 is by murdsr.' On the average In the United States a person: is murdered every ninety minutes. 1 That an immigrant arrives every twelve, minutes and an emigrant departs each seven minutes. Thus, the bureau figures that there is an increase in-population of one person, every thirty-six seconds. On this basis the population of the United States as at Ist September, 1932, was We are interested, of course, and ar« obliged to the forwarder, but if as a, ' follow-up," he could give us the winning New Zealand Cup-Trotting Cup double we shall put him on something to nothing. — ** ♦ ••■•«■■■' PANTALOONACY. Dear Plage,—The fact is that your anecdote re Frank Poster's trouseri misses the vital pomt r viz.,- the strides',' in question were not hii original pants, which had somehow been mislaid in the pantryS with the result that another pair were—poor old Frankl —foisted on him, thus becoming, his—i to be quite frank—foster-trousers I trow, Sirs. Or perhaps I should say they were.not at all becoming— at least, they didn't'beeome becoming until they went to the crease, when they set off the late cut. : . Which reminds me that cricket is, reputedly, played purely for sport's sake, i.e., the British Empire on which the sun never sets shows us the British umpire on whom the son never bets. Just you wait till I bowl you a wrong Jun, Perce, then you'll look Grim, met-aphorically speaking ■Cheerio. ■ ' . L.D.A. . A TEIP TO MOEEOW. . Dear Percy.—lf you have not already; done so, perhaps you may care to use this enclosure in your very interesting columns. Sincerely yours, ''■■■' '.',',-, O.H.S. I • started on a journey just about * week ago For the little town of Morrow in' .thai State of Ohio/ . I never was a traveller, and leall* . didn 't know . That Morrow has been ridicnled a cent tury or so, I went down to the depot for my ticket and applied For tips regarding Morrow, interviewed the station guide, Said I, "My friend; I want to go to Morrow and return Not later-than to-morrow, for I haven * time to burn." Said he to me, "Now let me see, if I nave heard you right, You want to go to Morrow and- comeback to-morrow night. You should have gone to Morrow yesterday and back to-day, ■'. For if you started yesterday to Morrow. don't you see, You should have got to Morrow and returned to-day at three.- ; The train that started yesterday, novr understand «ne right, To-day it gets to. Morrow and Teturns to-morrow night." Said I, «'My boy, it seems to me you're talking through your hat, Is there a town named Morrow on you* ' line, now tell me that?" "There is," said he, "and take from me, a quiet little tip, To go from here to Morrow is a-four-teen-hour trip, ' The train that goes to Morrow leave* to-day, eight-thirty-five, Half after ten to-morrow is the tim« it_ should arrive, Now, if from here to Morrow isa four-teen-hour ride, , Can you go to-day to Morrow and coma back to-day?" he cried. ' j1

Said I, "I want' to go to Morrow, cam" I go to-day, ■ And get to Morrow by to-night, if ther* js no delay?" "Well, well," said he, "explain to me, and I've no more to say, Can you go anywhere to-morrow and come back to-day? For if to-day you get to Morrow, surely you'll agree You should have started not to-day, but yesterday, you see; So if you start to Morrow, leaving here to-day, you flat, You won't get into Morrow till the day. that follows that. Now, if you start to Morrow, you will surely land ..."•• To-morrow into Morrow, not to-day, you understand, For the train to-day to Morrow, if the schedule is right . Will get you into Morrow by about to-morrow night." Said I, "I guess you know it all, but kindly let me say, How can I go to Morrow if I leav» town to-day?" Said ho, "Yon cannot go to Morrow any more to-day, For the train that goes to Morrow: la a mile upon ics way." ANOIT*