POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIII, Issue 29, 4 February 1932, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

"And the dawn comes up like thuader outer China. . .- ."

HE'D BE IN FBONT.

If the track at Aqua Caliente is soggy when Phar Lap steps but for'his first race, all good sportsmen on this side of the globe will churlishly hope that the New Zealand-bred champion will be the first to begin throwing mud at hii rivals and the last to desist.

ARITHMETIC Air.

According to Japanese diplomacy, division among the PowerV (the "absence of perfect co-operation") has led to a further division—a mobilised' one, whose movements have not" been disclosed. The sum of this explanation means an addition to Nippon's fighting strength, a multiplication of serious possibilities, and that something further must bo subtracted from Japan's pro* testations of good faith.

MARLIN GOES "SPIKY."

Noted/that up north-of Auckland a big striped inarlin : /stabbed a launch so heavily that the impact caused some alarm." Well, the other side-has had a pretty fair innings. .We reflect that if one of those monster swdrdfish could attack an unoffending craft sa viciously Zane Grey had better be care, j-ful.. and iot fall overboard when the' 'school" is about.' .; .he would probably be transfixed with something more than.horror. ;: ".',-■' -

EHYMES FOE THE TIMES. Dear Percy Flage,—

I was amazed to find in my posfc. bag to-day an illustrated brochure front a Wellington land agent drawing "my attention to certain "desirable dwellings (within the city), at prices to suit the times." Posaibly the good fellow confuses me with Sir Blotto Nearbeer. To suit the times is right! Hold on to

In Tui street, in Tui street, Where Eangi takes his goat's milk neat You can.make both ends of your loi*« cloth meet, In Tui street.

Thank you (for the applause)

Y^ura ever, JUMBO.

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VIEW HALLOA!

" 'Eartless JArry," 'on pur Leap Year reflections: "We New Zealand bachelors are not in quite so desperate a position as our brethren in California, as I read the other day. In that selfcomplacent State .there are> half -a, million predatory and instinctively marriageable women who, will' bo on the. trail. In 'Frisco, where I wat>n't born, the men number 41,672' more than the women, and no fewer V. than 110,000 dames are entitled to a permit to ring husbands on the hoof. These include over 30,000 widows trained in all the matrimonial woodcraft and practised shots with the repeating wedding ring. But—l quote from a celibate scribe on the Coast—'the most dangerous Dianas .of the Leap Tear, chase are the 11,633 divorcees who call 'Frisco home. These are' the crack shots of the hunt—the shock troops, who know every turn of camouflage, espionage, and tracking. A divorcee can put an Indian sign on -a bachelor before a widow or a maid gsta close enough, to shoot." It is the divorcees who are expected to bag the limit.* I'd rather stay here and take a chance, wouldn't youl"

* i *

i MAME MONOLOGUES,

Dame McClancy comes to her weekly tete-a-tete a trifle on edge . . . due to the news from the Orient.l 'As she sayt —well, lei her speak for herself:—

But me no butters till I see The Bteamin' mug in fronter me, Jest as of^yore. Ain't life a beast: That ferment in the gorjus Yeast— •I mean the row in Chu-Chin-Chow— Effects me turn-turn, dear, Eome'ow. As Kipperling saith, "The East is West, An' West is East," but I'll be blest If I can see with one good eye Why they should pick there on Shanghai To Btage a Donnybrook that might Sot the whole bloomin' show alight. All I can say, it's prefty rough., As if the world ain't sore enough, Lickin' its wounds 'n' all that/whiclj The: baro idear gives me the stitch. Them Banzai boys 'as no right ther* China's a dub, but fair is fair.

The other night I tried the show, The Q. & S. —that stands, you know^ !For—what's it now? Me mind's astray-"* Not gin- 'v '-squash, dear, anyway. An' reely, right there on the stage

Some lad referred to Mr. Tlage. I'm rather disappointed; 'c, I 'oped, kep' better company.

Still, some of these there hactor chap^ Are better than they look . . . perhaps. . You never, dear,, can't halways tell Between the truer'n^talse.,' Ah, well, I ain't got-Nornia Shearer's looks,

Nor read too many 'igh-brow books On literachoor, but this I 'old:

I'm right inside . . . me 'cart is gold* Talkin' of money—could you'spare

Two bob ? I want to wave me 'air, •• . v

WILI/ SHAKESPEARE. ON; RUGBY.

■Dear Percy Flago,—As a footballer of no'prowess or-repute, I am naturally interested in. the■ present .discussion about the merits of the wing-forward. Greatly to my surprise, I found oufc that an old friend of mine, Will Shakespeare, also was well acquainted with' the game of Rugby. In fact, he makea allusions to the game in a number o^ his works.

Of the wing-forward he wrote: "You tase football-player." ("King Lear.")',

Again, he says the game even then, was rough: " —ho teaches them to hack —'2 sinus, I suppose. ("The Morryj Wives of "Windsor.")

And "they butt well together. 5' ("Taming of the Shrew:.")

AYill's complete knowledge of Kugbyj can be ascertained by reading the following excerpts: "More than our backs can bear" ("Titus Andronicus"); "I'll not be your half" (''Love's Labour Lost"); "I'll be your half" ('.'Taming of tho Shrew"); "What a pace is this" ("Much Ado About Nothing")'; "There's a pack against mo" ("The Merry "Wives of Windsor"); <'Tho Welsh Hook" ("Henry V.")—this doubtless refers to tho- : 3-2-3 .scrum formation in niso .in Great Britain; "Peace, I pray you, now let us - understand. There are three umpires in this matter" ("Tho Merry Wives of ; Windsor")—the \ referee had recourse to tho advice of the linesmen;- "Goal for Goal" ("Anthony and Cleopatra"); "Here's no scoring" ("Henry , V."); "A dozen passes" ("Hamlet"); "The straight pass was dammed" ("Cymbeline")—strong feeling even then—; "such a silly pass" ("Taming of tho Shrew"); "To shoot against th 6 wind" : ("Titus Androni-cus")—-Wellington, of course; He "played to take the spectators" ("A Winter's Tale"); and, "He knows the game" (iii., "HenrjVV.").

Perhaps these few references will show that even our "giant of literature" had his periods of recreation, when he, too, enjoyed our national game.

P.S.—Perhaps he waß a Press f»> porter

?Tiek 6'Te«i,