POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXII, Issue 79, 30 September 1931, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Intimation on a newspaper poster— SMUTS ON THS OUTLOOK. In other words, specks before the eyes. . .... A writer-commenting on the formation of the Liberul-Eeforiii Government: "The lamb has elected to lie . down with the loin." It really is time that the lamb got a little of its own "back." WIRELESS WRINKLES. ' Mistaking us for "Grid Bias," » colleague grown almost notorious ef late, a correspondent ■writes in to ask us (1) if she should buy awireless set or a gramophone; and (2) is an eliminator necessary? Beply: (1) No; don't. (2) Yes, if it is intended for. the next door neigh* bour's set. • • '• •»■'"• '„:. ' COPY CATS. '-■ Persimmon,- — Was it just a trick of the imagination which caused a cotton goods firm of democratic U.S.A. to brand their products "Royal Society"? Thig. particular- article is labelled "Permanent Whits,»» and.- one; -wanted to add, "Guaranteed not to= fade," but reading on. one finds "all colours guaranteed" —so there it is. Yours, ■ .. , "BEDJACKET." ■ : • .•■ ■ ■* . ♦ FINANCIAL NOTES. Be financial news we hear . . .for years Britain's policy. . . has developed into a speeding toWards the brink, etc., etc. Guess that comes of racing the bank rate. ' 7- .- :. -" . . We've come to the conclusion that the character of the pound isn't so sterling after aIL Mark you, though, to be really franc, we cent-ed something coming. (You. noted we didn't drag in. anything about being dolorous.- "Yently, brother, yen-tly, pray!)' Hoarding gold won't do the U.S.A* any good; It's never helped us. . .'• >«•*■ OUB FIBST PBIME MINISTER; Dear Sir,— ' In the issue of the "Evening Post"? or sth September last, under "Newi of th© Day," appears an article on the above subject, in which a well-knowa Judge bemoans the fact that mot on» in a hundred knows the name of New Zealand's first Prims Minister, Now,' Sir, the Judge also is wrong, in-the name of the first Prime Minister, ea will you please ask him to join the army of the 09's. v ■ ' In the days when.New Zealand, was * colony the heaa of a New Zealand Government was known as the Premier, ani it was not until such time as New Zealand .Was raised to the ranks of k Dominion that the head of our Government was known as a Prime Minister. Consequently New Zealand?* Yours faithfully,- , ■■■■ . ■■;.• justice./- ---■ ' *' ' *■ '♦■':'■■' .'■ abdominal; V: ' "Slim. Jim" adds this to'the toU lection. '. .' ■ .' _■■' The late Frank Morton used to tell the story of the discussion1 that arosa at a gathering where several writers, painters, musicians, and artists were present, as to the time of the day or night and other circumstances, wheu each did his best work. One declared he liked to start late at night, and work till early morning, meanwhile drinking hot black coffee. Another al. ways did his best when he "wassort-of-half-sprung." "Therefore," inter, rupted Frank with a grin, "any horn? of the twenty-four." Another "feltf lazy aiter a^eal," and so preferred to hop out of bed, have one cup of tea, and work on till real hunger stopped him—and so forth. ' v An "outsider" present whispered id a well-known "Bulletin" artist- "And you, Mr. Pallette—do you too work bests on an empty stomach?" "Damnvou!'» snorted P. "I am a painter . . ."not » tattoo artist!" ' * . *' * ' • GET DOWN TO EARTH. ' It is clover, remarkably clever/ o« these wonder-workers of ours to s<» probing infinity, so to speak, and return to us with stories of what tha world will look like a few million years hence. But as (1) we shan't be on deck then, and (2) we are entirely lacking m imagination, what we want of these bulging brains is a tip for the xeaJisablo future.... and not top far aheai at that. ■ Two million years from now, behold. The world will be a wonder placeIf we believe what we are told— . • A credit to the human race,. Thanks to our scientists. They knon^ For they are wise as wise can be; Omnisciently they come arid go Between here and infinity. It's great to think that aeons hence Man will have reached perfection's goal It he begins,, without pretence, '■'To-day to practice birth-control. If we would bring Utopia nigh, - And hold it tight between our- knee»» Let—let this be the battle cry: . "Big wages and small familiss." Two million years hence, man will be .One with the angels, so they say,' From sin and sweat and sorrow'free, ■ With everything at last O.K. That's: fine; but will this clever, cliquy Who far into the future peer, ' . ■ • Predict for us the world next week, , Or, at the least, this time next year! And birth control? Upon our soul! Why not new birth of self-contrti!; CULMINATION. ' "Eldee Babyaustin" bursts out:—* W. H. Douglas in the "Pro Bono Publico—L.D.A." Column ("E.P..'< 28/9/31) waxes a bit personal. About the Dominion's capital city. Neverthe« less '' Douggic'' (forgive my familiarity, old boy, but already I feel quite paliv towards you) turn your back 'round for a scries of friendly thumps as hearty endorsement.. Everyday familiarity with the eyesores of this windy, unfinished Utopia is apt to dull the realisation of the average Wellingtonian of what a shanty outfit the city really is when one's vicious enough to go sightseeing among public buildings. Poor Wellingtonian is done to' a pothered frazzle when, at a respectable distance, he points out the Cathedral—or let's say nothing of murmured apologies when hurrying past the rambling, borer-ridden, ramshackle Guv'ment Bildins.;. . . And the railway stations! .... In moments of retrospect I often rejoice in the knowledge that the Lambton and Thorndon hovels were heavily bunting-bedecked when Edward P« and his brother visited New Zealand. . . . then the disgraceful shacks were younger than they ar© now! Here I mustn 't get too personal; for after all Wellington's the capital of a nation, and righteously any good John Citizen will scorn the overseas visitor? who chuckles, at monument* to etefep* taihoa, ." -7