SCHOOLBOY "HOWLERS"

Evening Post, Volume CXI, Issue 32, 7 February 1931, Page 21

SCHOOLBOY "HOWLERS"

Although some Round almost too good to be true, the "howlers" collected by. Cecil Hunt in "The Book of Howlers" (John Lane) make excellent reading. History is always a happy hunting ground for the maker of "howlers." "The difference between a king and a president," wrote an ingenious schoolboy, "is that a king is the son of his father, but a president isn't." How near and yet how far from- what he really meant to convey! It must have been the same boy who recorded that: '.'The new Poor Law put an end to the long-suffering poor," and that "Cardinal Wolsey was condemned to death, but saved his life by dying." The following are worth quoting:— The father of the famous Black Prince in English history was' Old King Cole. ■ What is the Sublime Porte? Heaven. Gorilla warfare moans when sides get up to monkey tricks. ' Scottish kings always used to live at Hollywood. ' The English archers at Agincourt went to battle with a steak each. King William had a New Forest maid, and he killed everyone who chased her. . General Smuts arc what all the different black races are called in the north-western quarter of Africa. In 1620 the pilgrims crossed the ocean. This is called the Pilgrim's Progress. The Wars of the Roses were so called because so many people rose up in defence of their country. Geography, too, is responsible for some amusing examples. They were two bright lads who wrote: "Quartz'is the name for two pints," and "Volcanoes emit streams of larger." The Cingalese are people who never marry. Holland is a low-lying country and is dammed all round. Tho Me of Wight is noted for its cows, of which Queen Victoria was very fond. ■ Amongst the islands of the Wcl Indies are tho Pyjamas, noted for toilet sponges. Others from various sections are: O.M. means on the make. Lots of politicians get these letters. An eavesdropper is a kind of bird. A bolt from the blue means running away from Oxford or Cambridge. One of the Archangels was Noah. A pence plus B pence equals eSpenee. La belle "dame sans inerei: The beautiful lady who never said "thank you." What does a bat do in winter? It splits if you don't oil it.-