POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CX, Issue 139, 10 December 1930, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

Jewels, including bracelets, earrings^ and a silver dinner service of an estimated value of half a million, hay* been found ins a villa at Dcla Bonda dm. Misprint for bonanza, of course.

That riot in the Cathedral of St» John tho Divine should tend to ntak* church-going in tho States more popular. We note that "Thoso nearest ex-Judge Unisey pulled him. clown. Several seized his legs, and others x'ummelled his middle." "Pummelled his middle" is choice, coming from a land whose vociferous Press never misses an opportunity to work "belly guns" into tho headlines when the gangsters are out big gam«> hunting.

The Master »s Touch. People in Hunter street yesterday] wero first put on the alert, then puzzled, and finally much amused by the pertinacity of an unoccupied car of small dimensions in sounding its horn —an instrument making enough noise for a whole motor-bus. The noise began without notice, and none of the numerous volunteers who experimented with the button could stop it. When a crowd had gathered, to such an extent that those on the outskirts could only crane their necks in a vain effort to see the mangled remains, the- owner pushed his way; through, and with a flip of his finger spoiled the show. •is * ♦

Cries of "Author! Author?" let? lif; '' Currian Eicc." At a gathering oi a Brotherhood founded in the War, and famous for the publicity it receives, "the whols gathering," we are told, "echoed thft Key. Mr. Clayton's quotation of Banyan's lines ending: 'We will remember them.' " It is understood that Mr. Binyon, author of "For the Fallen," is contemplating a new final verse of his poem, to end with the line: *'W« will remember the name of the author." * * #

"X" breaks into the columm brusquely with this suggestion:— Your asinine alliterative attempts ars played out. "Why don't you commence a limerick competition, offering, say, £1000 as first prize. I enclose, modestly, of course, the winning number. There was an old man o£ Japan, Who wrote limericks that wouldn't scan, AVhen people said "Oh!" He said, "Yes, I know, But I like to get as many words in th« last line as I possibly can." We have seen something like this fellow before. But a paltry £10001: We'll do better than that. We'll make it a million—in pre-war German mark* —for a classic limerick.

Passed on to us by one who noted the recent example of Chinese epistolary style reproduced in this colunin. This letter was received by a member of' the British. Institute of Structural Engineers, and first appeared in print in tho official organ of that body. It represents a reply in response to an: advertisement for draughtsmen to work in a competition. Most Honoured Sir, — ' Understanding that there ar« several hands wanted in your honour's department, I beg to offer my hand. As to my adjustments, I appeared before the Matrie examinations at October, but failed for the reason I snail describe. To begin with my writing was illegitimate, this was due to climatic reasons* for I having come from a warm into' a cold climate, my • fingers very stiff were and disobedient to my wishes. Further, I had received a great shock to my mental system in the shape of tha death of my fond brother. • Besides, most honoured Sir, I beg to state that I am in very unfortunate circumstances being the sole support of my brother's seven issues consist-,, ing of three adults and four adultresSes,' the latter being the pain of my existence owing to have to support two oi my own wives as well as their issues of which by God's misfortune the feminine'gender predominate. If by wonderful good fortune these few line? meet with your benign kindness and favourable turn of mind, I, the poor menial, shall ever pray for the long life and prosperity, as well as your honour's posthumous olive branches. I am, Sir, Your loving servant, CHONG OHETJ LI. .

Puka Puka, an atoll in. the mid-Paci-fic, is said to be a perfect example of * native socialist community. It. is » veritable lotus land. Come away to Puka Puka, Where pursuit of filthy lucre — In the shape «f toil—is needless, And you live life, carefree, heedless, Undisturbed and non-creative, Like the elain-eonsuming native, Lapped in dolce far niente On that isle of peace and plenty. Better far is Puka Puka Than Kaiwarra, Thames, Tenmka. No need there to get up early, No boss arrogant arid surly, No car-dodging escapades there, No real use for clubs or spades them There is naught to do but snore, Eat, drink, swim—and then encore.' Up in sun-swept Puka Puka No one plays ping-pong or snooker, Or the saccharine steel guitar. Speakers (loud) and . talkies are Heard not in that lotus land, Girdled by a tropic strand. Life is one long lingering ease By those incandescent seas. Never shall the placid Pukans, Beaked extremely like the toucam See us in their island sunny, 'Cos we cannot raise the money.

Japan's Dan Cupid, Eu Musubi-no-kami, is working overtime. Whil»; every other line of activity in Nippon is in the doldrums, a regular boom is being experienced by marriage shrines. The marriage season iv Japan opens when the trees begin to shod their leaves, and this autumn saw tho marriage merchants swamped with business, so much so that tho number o* officiating priests had to be increased, and additional accommodation requisitioned to cope with the rush. Despite the alleged hard times and lack of money, the marriage shrines, determined to make hay while the sun shone, increased their fees, but the couples continued to arrive- in undiminished numbers. There are three classes of Japanese weddings, the plum grade, the bamboo grade, and tho pine grade. The first is the most expensive, the fee being the equivalent of &« or 10s. The next costs about half tiiat amount, and. • the last a matter of, say, Is 2d. All theso fees have been raised by 50 per cent. Not only the marriage shrines have reaped a harvest; clothing stores and general outfitters, too, have benefited 'to some extent. It is during the summer that parents with marriageable, daughters and sons cast about for prospective in-laws, and the negotiation*; generally are completed prior to tfe» ; appearance of -vfinfer. '