POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CX, Issue 71, 20 September 1930, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

Sympathetic advertisement, "Bring us your headache."—Thanks. We'll "tote" one along the morning after our next birthday party.

With a prospect of brickworks under the shadow of the Giza pyramids, why not a fish-and-chips salon on the Acropolis, or "stagger" lights on th» Kent terrace statue?

■ Political butter must be that oleaginous matter used for buttering up your friends or greasing the palms o£ * not too sensitive political rival.

Headlines in a do-or-die South Island newspaper. "King Carol's Wives." '.'Dean Inge's Theory."—We pass over I

the libellous reference to express regret that the dogmatic dean's theory was omitted. Delicacy on the editor's part, you may bo sure.

It has been brought to our august notice that a few days ago a member of the Hamilton Chamber of Commerce informed the world that "Parliament consisted of 80 odd ordinary men who, when sent to Wellington, / were expected to possess some special ; ability to find solutions for problems which, as private citizens, they were incapable of handling."—A provocative statement. TheHamiltonian has exaggerated in this respect, that the ordinaries outnumber the oddities iv. our Legislature: they are not all quaint. As to what is expected of oar law-makers—the critic must surely bn .an incorrigible optimist or hopelessly unsophisticated.

General knowledge class ia session* Did yon know that .

(1) Eating peas with a knife is out of date? Some of the best people in England now do that' work with * spoon.

(2) Peccaries wear three toes ' and three bristles —the latter, in groups, multiplied indefinitely, of course?

(3) There is a Fat Men's Club waydown in Tennessee which contains 28 obesities turning the scale.at over 220 pounds apiece? .; '

(4) Vampires, according to a modern treatise, can be kept at bay by the use of garlic and the parking of small saucers of nitric acid in convenient places about the home?

(5) Gloves of whale intestine, described as "aquatic leather," have been evolved in Stockholm?

(6) It's hard'sledding for Turkey's spinsters: their sex outnumbers the men by nearly half a million?

(7) The King of Siam has scrapped all his punkahs and is installing an American cooling-plant?

(8) One of our fondest dreams is to make Mr. Lysnar, M.P., and Mr. Jones, also M.P., kiss, shake hands, and call off the vendetta? ,

(9) On the .word of Mr. Verschaffelt, there is no immediate prospect of this country's indefatigable civil servants becoming robots?

''Hayseed writes for enlightenment= on a portentous matter. "Who," h« asks plaintively, "is the Hays mention-, ed in the following par: 'The distribu* tors' action is not a bluff. Having withdrawn under Hays's instructions, they must stay out until Hays gives theni permission to recommence business.'" —We are privileged to be able to clear up the point. Hays is the American cinema Tsar whose outstanding achieve-. ment to date is to christen the talkie! the "aurieulars."

Mixed musical grill for a troubadour suddenly gone tired and decadent. I cannot sing to-night, dear, Aa I was wont to do. The niuser has taken fright, dearj My fair afflatus, too., Discomfited, deserted, Depressed, dissatisfied, Disintegrating daily, Divine desire has died. Siug—sing to me a vesperus, To wit—an evensong: The ballade of the HesperusIt will not take you long. It will not take you long, dear . . . I wish that I could be Down where the tides are strong, de«V Deep in the deep salt sea. Pluck at the zooming zither Until it fairly moans. It makes me droop and dither ' To hear its plaintive tones. My vertebrae go ceepy, •My cerebellum spins; And, sick at heart and weepy, ; ' I think on all my sine ■ ' ~: •/ , . ■. ;■■'•' Blare on the brazen trumpet, Bang on the big bassoon, And let thq neighbours lump it If they don't like tho tune. Play' something really funny, Stand on your marcelled heaij| Then wind the cat up, honey, And put the clock to bed. ,; # » ■ # ■...;' Autumnal weariness follows tht ardency of summer. Fields of flowers follow fields of snow., But whether at rising or at setting, the sun is alWayi a great rose! Death makes of man a clod of earth, from which a blade of grass may grow., And I know our breathing is nothing more than a perpetual sigh. —Confucius. "♦ ♦ • . i ' ' Say—listen— \ If you could only take a bath in moonlight! ■ ' Hey! Can't yon just see yourself : Take a runnin' dive Into a pool o' glowin' blne^ Feel it glidin' over you, All around and inta you— Grab a star—huh?— Use it for soap; Beat it up to bubbles And white sparkliu 5 foam— ;• 801 l and swash— Gee! I just like to bet You could wash your soul clean. In moonlight! —John V. A. Weaver. •• % • Prom that clay Paphnutius had not S moment's rest. The theorbo-player looked at him fixedly from beneath her long lashes. In her turn she spoke: '' See, I am mysterious and beautiful . . . You cannot escape me; I am the .beauty of woman. Whither do you think of fleeing, madman? You will find my image in the beauty of flowers 3 in the grace of the palms, in the flight of doves, in the bounds of gazelles, in the undulating course of streams, in. the soft light of the moon, and, if you close your eyes, you will find it in yourself. . . You know me well, Parthiiutius. Why did you not recognise me? I am ono of .the countless incarnations of Thais." ; —Anatole Prance ("Tl»ato">,