POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CX, Issue 70, 19 September 1930, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Commeni BY PERCY FLAGE Consecutive hoadlines in a highlyrespected contemporary: "Will Flourish Soon." "Australia's Hardship." —We thought it 'had already made ramarkable growth. * * * It's the big bright thought at th» alleged psychological moment that matters. In the discussion yesterday on. our exceedingly troubled railway system an inspired M.P. suggested that the refreshment room cup of tea and sandwich might be reduced by twopence.—Heady work, Sir! # • • Eecont advertisement ia Souther^ daily. "This Sedan has done only a few; miles and is exactly like new. Snubbers, bumpers, etc., etc. Defy anyone to find a scratch or blemish on Mb lovely car. Summed up, it is a new car at a used car price, and beliove me, it will not last long. Such candour is as welcome as it is rare. ♦ # . • As emphasising the influence of petrol on the habits and lives of the people, the Secretary to the British Ministry of Transport stated recently that tho car-purchasing class of the community bought ten cars in 1929 for every baby to which it gave birth.—Well, that '3 the baby's fault. It keeps its people at home and the car takes them away from home. # «• » Trucks that carry beneath their chassis a powerful electro-magnet energised from a special generator are in use in Missouri, cleaning the loads of puncture-producing matter. —Cars similarly equipped, that will pick up tho bumped pedestrian, enabling him to ba rushed to hospital without the driver leaving his seat, will soon become a necessity. ; * * * Oloe Chloro-Forme. Here goes then: "I was a cottage girl," she said, "Ten years ago . . .and now -'■ ■ ■ I have a Louis Quatorze bed And diamonds/ on my brow, A Giant Stutz, with furs to match, And round at Lowry Bay A marble staircased 10-room bach . '. % Ah me! Alackaday! A human story, tinged with wistfulness, though leaving scarcely enough, dear, to the imagination. Still.*. . * ■ ■ * ». . 'Bill Wishup."—Letter, received. Of course we were not referring to you. • •. ■ '•* . . "Clever Mary" (Trentham).—(l) A great horse, Gloaming. (2) A ( bio)o----gical absurdity, of course. Thanks for the "bite" —if you'll excuse th» slang. # ♦ * "Radio on Ships."—Don't be too hard on the Minister. It took Rip Vaa Winkle longer than.that to wake op. • . « * *

"Slani-it-is."—We didn't know tbat the chances of any particular player securing a particular suit is one in 635,000,000,000. The wife always buy* to the middle of a broken "straight.*

Greta Garbage (Lome • street). —According to Ovid (of blessed school memory 1) the entrails of crocodiles will remove freckles from the face and whiten tho skin.

G.0.C., U.W.O. (Wellington).—We have a lusty rose bank 30ft x 60ft that requires weeding. What offerst Gloves supplied.

"Glamorous Glaniis. "—Have not been advised of the baby's name, but Princess Elizabeth is learning ths piano, and hopes to play to the Queen next autumn (English time).

"Witless" . (Waikari). —There' .are six (not five) wits, to wit: common wit (our specialty), imagination, \ fantasy, estimation, memory, and the half-wit.

Democracy marches, but it takes curious twists sometimes. Last month when Shanghai sweltered under a, heat wave, coolies and millionaires alike (it is reported) were arrested and fined two dollars for stripping to the waist.—But we had the idea that in such temperatures millionaires stripped to the waist only when debauching themselves on guavas or watermelons.

It looks like a "catch/ to us, but here's taking a risk. "My contribution to your 'best-seller' anthology." writes "Apherbert," "is more truthful than the yarn about the rather devastating statue in Kent terrace. They sold wind years ago! Bessie Millie, of the Orkney Islands, helped to eke out her living, even so late as 1814, by selling favourable gales to mariners at the small sum of sixpence a vessel. In a day earlier still there were druidesses. in Normandy who traded in the same commodity and, as a sideline, sold arrows to charm away storms. Thus what they missed on the swings they gathered in from \th» roundabouts." —What a wonderful business those "windjammers" could have done in this salubrious city! ♦. ■ • ■ . • Don't be alarmed. This is mwely. spiritual exaltation rising on th« hiccuppy steps of modern, verge form, to a startling climax. It happened yesteTday . . . too late for the stop-presi column. : Mist on tho tomb of Masse?, and b»- , yond, ■ Fragile and fond , A rainbow springing Like a bird Singing ' . Prom where the Eastbourne. IFir« Brigade Often has made, Resolute and paleArdent as well — It's sally when the dreaded nre-fceH Called to stern duty . . . The rainbow's beauty Leaping, Sweeping, Blinds with its message as it fail* Down to those sands Not made with hands, Where the wild wind most tremulously; calls. Mist in Clyde quay , t . No more we see That desolating sign, Nor the late washing on the line On Roseneath's hills; Nor the sick smoke that spills From the destructor tower. Ah, wondrous hour, When the soul sings Of heaven-high things: Visioning above this rnimdane rafflflt It's own Hy-brasil. Begone Fear, ashen-fae6d, And Sloth, of ample waist! Let come what may to-morrow, Wet or dry day— PAY DAY'S ON FRIDAY.