POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CX, Issue 69, 18 September 1930, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Br PERCY FU-Ol

Chronicle and Comment

News headline. "How man may reach 160 years " —All h->. has to <h is to forge bis own birth certificate and employ a modern publicity a -nt.

Animadverting on tho strain of modrj-a civilisation's lights and noises an overseas specialist pictures man '' like dizzy pinwheels, blind, deaf, and with tho balancing mechanism in the ear unabla to function properly, staggering about . . ."—We saw a distressing case last evening holding up the Post Offie» with one hand.

Hitherto London County Council regulations have forbidden the erection of buildings higher than 80 feet. But now, "in view of the efficiency of tho Fire Brigade," builders may go up to the dizzy height of 100 feet.—Still, even that is some distance short of the Chrysler tower in New York, which towers 808 feet above th© pavement.

We raided a raiding brother colyumist/s private collection for this one.

The latest story from Hollywood is that of the man who walked up the Boulevard shouting, "No! No! No!"

A policeman who had been following him asked what was the matter.

"No! No!" tho man kept on shouting-

"Quit that or I'll pull you in," replied the "cop." "What's the big idea?"

"I'm a studio 'yes-man' on my vacation," he replied.

"Yell away," said the "cop." "The change will do you good. When 1 ge£ my two weeks I'm going to a sanatorium to cur© myself of the liquor habit."

Adolf Hitler, head of the "Steel Helmets," has a branch office in South" West Africa. This organisation is-re-cruited largely from war veterans. However, the news need cause no alarm ia the political dovecotes at Cape Town. From a purely South African standpoint it is agreed that there is- little harm in the existence of this body. It« activities are confined to beer-drinking in honour of the Fatherland, and ia making speches. A revolutionary organisation with such "militant" ideali should never lack adherents. ,

Morning-tea monologues. Mrs.

And 'ow is Mrs. Bloggs to-day? A bit hoff-colour? You don't say! Bill 'as a nasty 'ackin' corf Which nearly shakes 'is 'eadpieoli

He rather likes 'is medicine —_ A drop o' peppermink and gin . . , Since last I seen you we 'aye 'ad Bad luck, my dear . . . that but-

cher lad Told us to be on Toxy-yutua; I think they must of run a stoomer .. * You never can be sure these days; They pull 'em up on you, Bill lays, And Bill ain't always 'arf-a-sleep . . • Last year he nearly won a sweep. I see the Prince ain't married yet . * • 'B knows a thing or too, you bet! 'Andsomo and gay . . . ain't he th«

lad; . ...'■■' Not very much like 'is old dad ... ' . I 'ear we're football champeens still

Ain't Albert Cooke a dinkuni thrill,

And Porter too . . Forbes puts on dog

I like the way . . he's goin*

gay ... It make? mo sick to think of 'ow Some 'as the luck . . . ain't Life a

cow ... Look at that poor thing that they found 'Elpless and lifeless on the ground . .-. It might of been, dear, you or me . . . You'll 'aye another cuppertea?

( broadcasting rights strictly reserved.)' # * *

Our unemployment figures, fortunately, look a mere fragment besidr those of Europe and the "United States. On 9th August last Germany gave out officially that her total number of persons out of work was 2,757,000. Great Britain passed tho 2,000,000 mark in July, and Italy with 322,287 (including 114,094 women), France with 100,000 then on strike and 20,000 involuntarilyunemployed, Hungary with 400,000, mostly agriculturists, idle, and Austriawith 400,000 —these bring the total ta 5,949,287. America, it is estimated, sets the record with between 5,000,009 and 6,000,000 workers out. The Bussian jobless are given as over 2,000,000. While Britain's figures increased 857.----000 in a single- year, Germany's went up by over 1,000,000.

Our Turnbull Library possesses soma real literary rareties, but there are others. The superbly illuminated Bedford Book of Hours and the Luttrell Psalter are two such. It coHt England over £60,000 to save those precious documents for the British Museum, the money being raised by subscription. Another example: Austria, a sadly impoverished country, has just sold ono of her three Gutenberg Bibles, printed on parchment, and m three volumes, to the Library of Congress at Washington, for a huge sum running well into six figures, it is reported. Still another valuable and quaint, manuscript has come into the hands of the British Museum Trustees as a gift. It contains among other curiosities recipes for a drunk cure and a cosmetic As to the first: "Ffor to helpe a dronken man: take swallowes and branyne them and geve the dronking man to drinke of the powder, and he shall never after be drunke." Sinister? To assist the 17th century lasf to a greater power of allurement: "Ffor to make a/woman's" face well coloured. Take the marrowe-bones of swync's feete and temper with warm water, and annoynt the face there* withe."

Depression notwithstanding, Londoa is building and rebuilding to some purpose, as the cables tell. Recently a number of famous houses were sold for conversion into luxury fiats. These included properties on the •eastern side of Berkeley Square and the south sid<3 of Brntou Street. Eighteenth century London is disappearing under pressure of West End business seeking new quarters and the constant demand for luxurious flats. Among the houses referred to is No. 11, Berkeley Square, wherein Horace Walpole lived, and as the Earl of Orford died, though he did no' use ik* name. He wad therein No \ iber, 1782, when a rabble shattered ad the panes in the place not illuminated: it was only Rodney, victorious at sea, being escorted home. la a neighbouring house George IV., with a dame dv coeur, Mrs. Fitzherbert, the beautiful "Perdita," frequently dined. Famous names crowd in this bit of Georgian London. Pitt and Fox, Lord Rosebery and Earl Grey, dire and Colin Campbell, and Colley Cibber (of dramatic notoriety) all livod in Berkeley Square. Lady Ann Lindsay wrote'"Auld Eobiu Gray" when resident here in the heart of London's West End, where link extinguisher*, still stand before some <rf th« $oo»» ways.