GOOD BEHAVIOUR.

Evening Post, Volume XCVIII, Issue 40, 16 August 1919, Page 16

GOOD BEHAVIOUR.

It's very, very hard for me To be as good as I should bej Yet being bad's as easy quite . As falling- out of bed at night,

It must take lots,of sacrifice Of everything that's bad but nlos To make the Saints as good as wg Have always cracked them up to be I ■ Oh, dear! J wish that we could buy Excursion tiokets to the sky , . And wings that wouldn't fade or moult, And angel raiment by the bolt! N,Y, Life, =Maria Conde,

"What is youi' opinion on this subject?" inquired the constituent. "My opinion," replied Senator Sorghum, "is that opinions aren't worth mentioning just now, What we want is action,"

Farmer iSo you're an e-xperfeneed milker, .hey? Now, whioh side uy a cow do you sot on whan you' milk her? Applicant for Job; Ob, I ain't a bit partiokler, if the cow ain't!

Wife (with newspaper); Another strike. Isn't it awful? Hubi Can't say until you give me pe-tiovdare-^it might be a, strike of tax coUootors,

I*dj( Can't you find wsrk?. Trampi Yes, ma am; but everyone wants a reference from my last employer. Lady: And can't you got one? Tramp: No, ma'am, Yer see, he s been dead twenty-eight years,

"That is an eight-day, elect, madam,' explained the dealer; "it will go eight days without winding," "Good gracious!" exclaimed the customer. "And how long will it go it you wind it?"

"Danny," soolded his father, "you must not eat so muoh I Everybody • will bo calling you a. little glutton, Do you know what that is?" „ . .... , "I suppose," Danny irephed, "it roust bo a big glutton's little, boy.

'■Father, what's a substitute?" asked Charles of his father. , ■ •. "A substitute, my boy, is anything^that costs moro than the original article, replied tho experienced parent..