ALLEGED HUMOUR.

Evening Post, Volume LXXXV, Issue 33, 8 February 1913, Page 11

ALLEGED HUMOUR.

A , TOAST. A health to tho girl that can dance like a dream, And the' girl that can pound the piano, A health to tho girl that writes verse by , the ream Or< toys with high C in soprano ; To the girl that can talk,, and the girl that does not ; To the saint. and the sweet little ner—But here's to the cleverest girl o£ the lot, The girl that can cook a good dinner I -HER SORROWS. Ho ! my lady* bought a hat, Trimmed with— oh, wel! this and that. It was' chic, high priced, becoming— quite a gem in every way. But how short-lived was her pride (For her milliner hafl lied !) She saw another liko it— then there was the deuce to^ pay. For a pair of shoes she went; • All the afternoon she speht, And chose a natty, dressy pair— the sweetest • she could buy. They were comfortable, yes, But you'll nover, never guess What she" suffered when she found the heels a full eighth' inch too high I She, in choosing her a gown, Turned the city upside down, And brought home a small creation) worth not quite its weight in gold. Ab ! that gown ! She priced it so-r- „ But 'was torn 'twixt wrath and woe When a friehd -persuaded her tho style was all of four weeks old! She is inured to change*— ■ To her fancy sway and rangeThat in matters touching life's affairs on constant wing is she. So ill-luck was hers - again When she chose among the ' men j She > thrice' has- tried, the Reno routeyet chafes at being free ! —New York Globe.