A COMEDY ON THE RIVER.

Ellesmere Guardian, Volume X, Issue 956, 28 October 1891, Page 4

A COMEDY ON THE RIVER.

Of all pleasant thiugs on_.a burning, broiling, scorcbjng.^sammeir afternoon, aue.of the-pl'easantest is lo moor one's boat under the shade of a grove of trees m a quiet backwater of the Thames, and, stretching one's length m easy, if not strict'y gracefal, abandon, to smoke that modern substitute for the calumet of peace, the deadly cigarette, The distant murmur of n splashing, frothing, waterfall sounded soothingly on the ear. The chirping of birds m the topmost branches of the lofty elms, the hum of the lie- s as the; floated from flower gathering their winter store, the contented lowing of the cattle m a far~ off meadow, mingling with the gfntle notes of warning uttered ly the sheep to their more venturesome offspring, shov ed that all nature revelled m the unusual glow of warmth and brilliancy with which our somewhat sunless isle was favoured. It lay with man alone, for whose delight all three joyous things were created, to sound the discontent. The growl came from the boat 'and issued from the lips of Harold Aos ten. ( Beastly world, this ! ' 1 c said, His companion raise I himself on one elbow, looked across at the speaker, and after another pull at his cigarette inquired laconically, « What's up now V They were two as fair specimens of the athletic English youth as you would meet m a fifty's row. Ft the pr^s^n' they hwl donned thoir blazers, but five nimntefl *± o, when bending to the oars, t' c scanty attire approved for mculf rn aquatics would have rev<ale<) anus that, from the wrist upwards, wero as fair and white as a woman's but whose development of niusel« was whtol.y of the mighty Valcan himsplf deceiving no immediate r> sponge to his querj, Geoffrey TMlueaon asked again, ' What'j the row.' * Oh, the same, old royrf grumbler} Austen. ' The governor's on his usual j tack — ' Why don't I marry and settle down V Lucky for you,;old fellow, yon; are rot a miserable, persecuted heir to fifteen thousand a year.' Geoff laughed. : - '■ 1 1 have beard many & man sing out abont the want of coin, but I never knew one make a grievance of a fortune before.' , , ; ( What's the good of a fortune when it's saddled with a big encumbrance?' said Austen irritably - ' Marriage may be jke most troubles, worse m anticipation than m reality/ suggested his friend. ' Marriage at the best is a leap m the dark,' returned he sententioasly ; does not the very service begin with ' dearly be. loved ' and end with ' amazement V He rose, and stretching \m long limbs stood m the boat with bis hands' clasped at the bark of big head. ( I wouldn't mind if I could find some true woman,' be began grandiloquently, • but the girls of <. the .present day-7-' ' i 1 Oh, stop that- rot, Hal,' cried his friend. * We've heard so much of it. The girls of the present day are quite good enough, and of/ci a deuced sight too good, for thtifof(ie»Biecle young man.' Hal paid no heed to this interruption. ' If I could find some unsophisticated innocent girl,' r who had a - soul above chiffons, and scandal, md latter day literature — no offen«e to you, Geoff. By the way, where ,do you find the originals for the angelic creations m your novels 7 are they all evolved solely and simply from the meshes of .your brain ?' Geoff Thellusson hated any allusion to what he called shop. 'Oh 1 drawn from life, mostly,' he said gruffly. ' A little bit of one and a little bit of another.' -jr:" . * Exactly,' replied Hal, ' and that's just what I should like m a wife, a little bit of one and a little bit of another. But not being an inhabitant of the Salt Lake City, I don't see bow I am to attain my desire.' Geoff laughed m spite of his irritation, and said, ' Go down into the wilds of the country and seek your modest, retiring violet there.' 'And what should I find ? Pertmisses who are indifferent copies of the fashion-plates, aping the bad manners and vulgarity of Society. No, old boy, the country is a shade worse than the town, because the surface polish lacks a master hand to lay it on. As I said before, Geoff, you're a lucky chap/ ' You are the first to find it out. In what does my especial luck consist— my poverty ? 9 1 Yes, your poverty has obliged you to use your brains. Mine are simply rusting.' * That's your own fault.' ' I call it my misfortune. You are not the natural prey of hostesses, who seize me almost by the scruff of my neck and drag me off, willy-nilly, to be presented to that ' charming Miss Brown/ or that ' delightful Miss Smith/ You can choose your partners for yourself.' | ' You forget that where I am concerned partners are, as a rule, warned off/ * Another piece of luck. Women always hanker after forbidden fruit. Con found it all, man alive, if you contemp? late proposing to a girl, you don't feel a a hideous certainty that she will accept you whether she cares a hang for you or not, because she ip\ thinking of that cursed ' fifteen thou.' 'I verily believe that if I could meet a woman I was mortally certain had no knowledge of my 'father's rent roll, I would pop the question to-morrow. Hullo! What's ♦hat?' • ;' f v .■-'■ • : -;\ ■.;;; (Gontinwd m our met ium.)