M'SWEENY AND HIS VALENTINE.

Ellesmere Guardian, Volume X, Issue 924, 4 July 1891, Page 4

M'SWEENY AND HIS VALENTINE.

Tht re hail I^' n m poii'plnint of petty tl^fts aVthfe house, an 1 -M*Sweeny was deputed to i go over and see into the matter. It 'was ,a, ..big house at Dean Bridge, m which there were three ser vantSM kept, add it was M'Sweeny's brillitnfc suggestion? to; the owner, Mr Brady, that he should be introduced as a gasfitter, come to look after a slight leakage. Most of the articles missed were of trifling value, and the gentleman wns inclined to suspect some of the servants. One thing missed was an old plated seal not worth fire shillings, but very highly prized because it had belonged to the owner's grandfather. This seal was minutely described, the stone dark brown, and not engraved with crest or initials, the plating that the metal under was silver. It was not easy to understand what any woman could want with such a trinket ; but M'Sweeny declared that some women were like magpies, and would take anything that was bright and glitering, whether they couli use it or not. ' And besides, they may have sweet' hearts,' he added, with a look of pro found experience. ' That's wliat I want to find ont, and that's why I want to go as a gasfitter. I may pass for a sweetheart myself, just for a little devarsion, till I get at the tbafe.' ' Diversion ?' I echoed, with a look of pretended gravity. • Take care ! you don't get bitten.' ' Och f small fear of that,' he confidently returned. ' The woman isn't born yet that could take me in.' It wai thus evident that m the cause of duty M'Sweeny was prepared to run risks to him more dreadful than mere bodily danger. We are all heroes m our owu way. On making his appearance at the house at Dean Bridge m workman like attire, and carrying an apron of tools over his shoulder, M'Sweeny asked to sea the gaifittings, and was very graciously received by the pretty tablemaid who answered the bell, and had already been told by her master that such a man was coming. ,M'Sweeny's fitting was of the most primitive description, and consisted merely of sniffing at some of the bracket joints, and pouring a little water into the lusters and the gas-meter; but he managed to make it last long enough to give him a good idea of the three servants. The tablemaid was so eager to flirt with him that he set her down as having no sweetheart, and accordingly she at once lost all interest for him. The cook was not nearly so pretty or young, but she received his advances so stolidly that he at once decided that she had a sweetheart, and therefore paid her such persistent attention and so many compliments that the other two felt ready to worry her alive. The housemaid admitted having a sweetheart, but he was a soldier at the wars, so she also lost all interest for M'Sweeny. The cook's name was Jane Goodall, and she was as Irish as him self, but when M'Sweeny pointed out thiitr fact after getting planted m the Trifchen, JTane scornfully indicated a (preference for Englishmen. She was a fat); heavy woman, and the very last m the world M'Sweeny would have thought •of courting of his own accord, but at that statement he appeared quite heartbroken. V 'Faith now,. I'll swear she's got a sweetheart an Englishman,' he said, appealing to the other two. * The gardener,' cried both m * breath upon which the heavy-face cook blushed as well as she could, seeing that her face showed a , stereotyped blush all the year round, : ''What gardener ?• cried M'Sweeny, with sudden interest. M 'thought you had none ?' ' Oh, neither we have, but he cornea to do the garden. He's working at it now,' gleefully answered the tablemaid. • Cook's just daft about him.' * What! that miserable little vagabone that I spoke to as I came m at the gate ? Begorra, I could put him m my pocket an' never know he was there and I think I'll do it when I go out,' he said with a desperate look, lOh no, you mustn't,' they all cried but the two girls least concerned looked as if it would be capital fun. Then M'Sweeny scornfully inquired aU about the gardener, and learned that his name was Sam Hawkins, that he was a common working gardener, earning a little over £1 a week, and that he came often te see the cook, even when he was not -needed at the garden, and sometimes _ walked with her of a Sinday. M'Sweeny ''then insisted thatit was his duty as a love-stricken gasfitter to go for that gardener and kill him on the spot, and •tid he would do it there and then if Jane Goodall did not allow him to kiss her and promise to meet him instend on ber first Sunday out. The cook moat resolutely refused, even to save the life of Sara, and M'Sweeny got her huge frame into his clutches, and was busy striving to make her alter her mind when the tablemaid suddenly interrupted them,with the cry — ' Look I look up !' All obeyed, 1 and saw the gardener glaring down at then from the area railings of the front garden, m which he had been working, with enough wrath and jealousy m his eyes to have contuned M'Swe'eiy on the spot.